It's 2507, and a small group of civilized, attractive, ethnically-diverse people are holed up over a coal mine in Antarctica, the very last fossil fuels on the Earth. They're holding off barbarian hordes, and when their stronghold falls, it will be the end of civilization.
"Oh what will we do?" they ask their supercomputer. "Oh why didn't mankind begin developing renewable energy resources back in the 21st century?"
The supercomputer suggests a plan: they will build a time machine, and use it to send a robot back in time. Being old movie buffs, they make the robot look exactly like Arnold Schwartznegger. The robot is built and sent back to 1990, and arrives in the high-security area of a government lab. At first, the guards think it's an attack, but they hit the robot with everything they've got (lots of attractive explosions, etc.) and nothing can touch it. Eventually the robot convinces some scientists that it's from the future.
2007-08-24
07:15:00
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7 answers
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asked by
cosmo
7
in
Environment
➔ Global Warming
The robot calls a secret conference of top scientists, politicians, and religious leaders. Basically, these guys:
http://www.logicalscience.com/consensus/consensus.htm
The robot pleads for world leaders to begin developing renewable resources. "The people won't go for it" says the governor of Texas, "we can't make it happen."
"Wait a minute" says James Hansen, one of the climate scientists. What if we faked the data, to make it look as if fossil fuels were destroying the Earth's climate by making it too hot?"
"But we know that the Earth's climate is just natural cycles" says Michael Mann, "we'll never be able to get anyone to believe that the tiny contribution of human CO2 could possibly affect the whole world's climate!"
But Naomi Oreskes says "We could fake all the refereed literature on climate. We have control of all the journals, we can just make up anything we like!"
Richard Lindzen says "But you have to have a little controversy, so it doesn't look fake!"
2007-08-24
07:22:47 ·
update #1
And so the great global warming hoax is born. The world leaders enslave the common people of the world by depriving them of fossil fuels. But in the end, it's worth it.
Back to 2507: The whole future changes. The barbarian hordes disappear, and our beautiful civilized human find themselves in a paradise of plentiful renewable resources.
2007-08-24
07:25:03 ·
update #2
Ruel the Midianite: the people need to be enslaved for dramatic tension---otherwise the ending is too happy. Maybe the time period could be made 1000 years (of tribulation followed by Earthly paradise)---always good to get in some pseudo-Biblical allusion.
The real Arnold is detained by security forces and sent to a Spa/Gym, and spends the rest of his life lifting. The robot replaces him, and nobody notices. The robot winds down his movie career with increasingly silly movies and then becomes Govenor of California. The people of California are the first to be enslaved.
The secret conference is actually held 5 years after the robot appears, so Bush is governor of Texas. Inhofe is not invited, by mistake, and eventually succumbs to apoplexy.
2007-08-24
10:47:08 ·
update #3