Why, after a year and a half, do I still love someone that left me and broke my heart.?

Question

Everytime I go out with friends I think of her. Not her friends she did not know them.. I have prayed. I have cried. I have done everything I can think of to forget her but I can't shake her. Yes I was and still am deeply in love with her. However, I don't seem to move on. I hear her voice in crowds. I smell her scent sometimes. Songs come on all the time to remind me. And within an hour if I throw something away that reminds me of her she calls or shows up some where i am. I am starting to feel a little pycho. I have stayed away from her and her friends places she use to frequent. Still I cannot let go of this love for her, and until I do I can let NO one in. They will only be a bandaid on a corpse.

Answer 1

Dear, this is what they say love is all about. nothing in this whole damn world can delete her thoughts from your brain, not even the best perfume in this world can replace the smell of her no music can compare to her voice,
Nothing absolutely nothing except for you can do it.
No I won't tell u to try to forget her but divert your mind to another very diferent level that my friend we call work[your profession] Go,get yourself involved deep down into your profession take responsibilities for tasks you have never done before,execute them don't give room to anything but work and see you will be happy. This my dear is not an advise or a phylosophy this is experience.

Answer 2

I believe time alone doesn't heal. You have to want to get over your ex and constantly try to see yourself happy without them. As long as you focus on the fear that you'll never meet anyone else, the anger that they left, or the hope you'll get them back, you'll stay pretty much stuck in the same place. Of course, you need to take time to grieve the end of a relationship, but you also need to keep looking and moving forward - not backwards. It’s important to do new things, meet new people and create new memories. Gradually, as you force yourself to interact with others, you will start to find yourself enjoying at least parts of life again. If keeping yourself busy was the only solution to getting over an ex, then none of us would be here. It's a combination of doing these things, time and crucially adopting the right attitude that works.

Those may not be the words you want to hear but they are accurate none the less. Goodluck :)

Answer 3

the fact is love never dies. It becomes harder to fall in love with someone new every time you begin again. You will never stop caring for her to some degree. So, might as well learn to accept these feelings, that just means you really loved her all along! If it can't work than you will need to accept that as well. The more time you can spend away from her the better which you are already doing so you are on the right track, but don't ever expect that it will disappear, it never ends.

Answer 4

You will always have a place in your heart for someone you loved. It's never easy. Some people need a "buffer" person to have fun w/ and keep the ex off their minds. Others need time alone to discover more about them selves and do things they couldn't do while in the relationship. like watch Action movies (hahaha) or write poetry... You just need to be strong and keep telling yourself if she's the one it will happen. Don't dwell on what could have been. See how much of ur life u have waisted on wondering, instead of living.
I had a guy crazy in love w/ me and I loved him, but it wasn't the same as when we dated. He had to stop talking to me b/c it hurt him too much. That really hurt me but I know that's what he had to do to get over me.
You just have to keep in the right state of mind and stay positive. You never know, the woman you'll spend the rest of ur life w/ may run into u tomorrow. But u won't see her if ur still caught up on someone who has moved on.

Answer 5

It sounds like you really loved her alot. When a relationship like this ends we are devestated and it takes alot of time. If you don't feel ready to go out with someone else, then don't. You have to be true to yourself and feelings and do whats right for you. Alot of people start dating right away becasue it helps them take there pain away and forget a little easier. As you said though, thats kind of just putting a band-aid on it. The best thing to resolve our feelings and heartache is to just talk it out with friends or someone that can help and time. It just takes alot of time. We all go through those psycho moments but you also have to realize that we can let things like this get out of hand. Its not good to hang onto things and we shouldn't have to do it alone. Find someone to talk with and talk about your feelings. I wish you the best of luck,,I know its hard.

Answer 6

...I know how ya feel spankster...been there and done that alternatively. Try to get busy with the thoughts that another great woman WILL eventually come along that WILL absolutely be much better for you then this last one really. If you don't start pulling yourself out of your own hole soon....you WILL end up a psycho for that matter. No one has a spell on you except for YOU charlie.....quit whining and pull your boots up and on for starters. God and Life wait for no one partner....and it's all going on everyday if you wanna participate in it. Up to you though dude. What's the worst that could happen if you really tried anyways? Get busy dude.....cause fresh fish is on the menu now my friend.......you do like fish don't you? LOL!!!

Answer 7

I am wondering how it feels to be heartbroken. If I am rejected by someone I care about, I feel small and worth less than others. I feel a loss and grieve for what feels like the loss of myself (and self worth). Mourning is a lot like depression, a bottomless pit and there is no bottom to how bad it feels. Maybe you still love her because you believe only she can give you your sense of worth if she would give you her love.

I am learning to take care of myself better than I used to. I don't like to feel worthless or small. I am an adult and I want the status of an adult, being free to make choices for myself. I would wager that feeling this way is not something you would choose if there was a way out of it.

God does not give one person more worth than another. He loves each person with great love as he loves his son, Jesus. God loves people who feel small and helpless and cannot help themselves. Jesus is the way out. He said, "Come to me all you who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest." Put it all in his hands and he will work it all out so that you feel your worth again. The only thing is that you will have to shift to trusting the invisible realm instead of what can be seen in this realm and God can help you do that if you and I agree that he help you.

Taste the Lord, and see that he is good.

Answer 8

You are right you cannot let go unless you let yourself. WSounds like you have not healed, and that my friend takes lots of time. You will always love her, hate to tell you. Thats just how humans are. We never stop loving people, we just let them go. Unless you give yourself permission to move on, you won't.
You aren't ready, some people are never ready to move on. So really it's up to you. Do you value yourself enough to let yourslef have a better life, another love, freedom from your bonds? If you don't feel good enough to get up and out.... I would seek counseling. Really! They help you see things from another perception.
Good luck mate!

Answer 9

You're still hung up on her because you choose to be. You're getting something out of continuing to be blue over this and pine over her...when it stops fulfilling whatever it is inside you, then you'll move on. It's a choice.

Eighteen months is more than enough time to get over a girlfriend unless you were adults and together many many years, or she died tragically. Otherwise, (pardon me for saying) but sounds like some drama...

Answer 10

Sounds to me like you're working harder on hanging onto her and finding ways to remember her. What have you done for the year and a half for yourself? What have you done to forget? Sat around and thought man, I need to forget this and this and that....? You need to get a hobby or a job or something to occupy your mind so you quit dwelling on her.