HELP!! May have a problem child?

Question

i have a 6 Yr old girl and no matter what we do for punishment she still acts up... she tells us to shut up, who cares, what ever!
you name it she says it. If we put her in the corner (6minutes) she still talks back tells us she hates up she wished we were dead and that she did it... and if we add more time she talks back worse.
We've even tried tabasco sauce, and all she will do is cry then she acts up even more. She lies and tells people that my boyfriend and I beat eachother up. We brought her to the carnival and she told people tha didn't get to go.
Shes not my daughter shes my boyfriends. She lives with us. Not her mom.

She use to go to counseling but they said she didn't need it. We have tried taking things away she doesn't care. She wants to live with her mom but we tell her that her mo is "sick"
She got taken away from her mom from DCF. She was in a foster home for a month. So we tell her if she keeps lying that she will go back to the foster home. She tells these things to are DCF worker. She got taken from her mom last November. I asked her if the reason why she’s acting and telling lies is if she thinks she does these things, she'll go back to her mom... and we told her DCF will not let her go back to mom. Unless she gets better, and even then we’re still not sure if she can go back.
She’s six yrs old we don't want to tell her that her mom has issues with drugs.
Bad enough she know about alcohol and weed is... god only knows what else.

Answer 1

As a clinical school social worker, I have to say that her behavior is normal for what she has gone through in her short life. First of all, ALL 6 year olds misbehave! It is normal. Because you're not her bio mother it makes it worse for you. You are going to have to pick your battles with this child. You can't battle with her over every misbehavior otherwise you will lose the war. You have to pick the behavior that bothers you the most and focus on that. She is used to getting attention for negative behavior, kids will take attention however they can get it whether it is positive or negative attention. Instead of taking things away trying having her earn things. So if she has a good day and doesn't talk back she earns something like watching a video or picking out what everyone is eating for dinner, etc. When she says she hates you, say, "You can hate me all you want but I'm gonna love you forever!" When she sees that her words don't annoy or hurt you, she'll will eventually stop. Obviously she is very angry and it takes time. Encourage her to talk appropriately about her feelings such as "I'm really mad right now because you won't let me do.........." and when she says it then you can reply "I can see that you're angry". It's hard to argue with someone who agrees with you.

It's a challenging situation, try to get support for yourself such as talking to someone.

BTW, tabasco sauce in the mouth could be considered child abuse and you want to be careful not to cross the line with this child who already is telling lies about your relationship with your boyfriend.

Answer 2

I thought that I was the only one dealing with this!! My 8 yo daughter acts out the same way. I have tried to sit and talk with her about her actions and how disrespectful her behavior is. I even had a visit from a social worker because of the allegations my daughter has made to her teacher!! I have started taking her things away when she is disrespectful and tells lies. If she thinks that her step dad and I are sooo horrible then she shouldn't keep the nice things that we have given her. She is getting better but she can still say some pretty hurtful things sometimes, but at least now she realizes it that she will lose privileges and her precious belongings and apologizes.

Answer 3

im 22 now and i used to be a lot like your daughter. my parents just let it go and didnt do anything about it until it was too late. i spent 7 years in and out of jail. i did 3 years straight in a youth prison for assult on leo you have to put your foot down and let her know that you are the boss not her. if you dont let her know you are the boss and she does not run you and she will end up like i was. try putting her in her room grounding her from tv and everything. and if that doesnt work see if a police officer can come over and talk to her and tell her what will happen if she doesnt straighten up and listen. these are the things i wish my parents would have done for me. if you have any more questions about it feel free to email me at [e-mail] hope that helps a lot

Answer 4

talk to her dad and see if he will agree that she needs counseling. there is more going on with her, she is six,to much anger and hate need to find out why?

Answer 5

she might need pro. help maybe evan meds. get counseling they can recommend something to help. good luck.

Answer 6

yes counceling and meds big time hurry to the doctor.