My 9 year old daughter talks back constantly...?

Question

She is also very whiny, complains alot, and is generally unpleasant to be around much of the time. Her physical behavior is stellar, it is just her darn mouth that is the problem!

I am not a single mom, however my husband is her step dad, and there is some issues with them...that is a whole nother question...

Popping her in the mouth is not an option, so child abusers need not reply, thank you.

Wow...I thought nobody spanked anymore...am I the only one not spanking or slapping in the face? Is this considered an appropriate form of punishment? I realize I have been to lax with her, but do not imagine I could ever hit her...how many of you are spanking and or slapping?

Answer 1

I have "spanked" my daughter a total of 3 times in her 8 years of life...Then I feel horrible later :O( BUT my dad used to spank me with a belt and I turned out pretty damn good. I don't think it is the answer to everything BUT I do feel it is a good last resort

My daughter is the same way she is 8 y/o and I too am married and she has a step father. Her anger and her not listening I believe comes from when she visits with her father. My husband and she have spats like all parents due but are fine the majority of the time. I know you may not be open to it but last year my daughter was having a hard time with her biological father and I was at my wits end. I let her go to a "talking doctor" to talk about things that she might not feel she could talk to me about because I may get upset with her father or say something to him to defend her. She went to the "talking doctor" for 3 months. This helped tremendously. The doctor would give me updates about things that were going on and would ask my daughter if it was OK to tell me things. She still has her moments but she is doing fine now and if she ever wanted to go back to "the talking doctor" I would let her. I think it's important for her to be able to tlak to someone who is going to be neutral about things and give her opinions. Hope I helped

Answer 2

You have got to be straight with her. It is time for 'the talk'. Dont shy away, cos if you cant talk 'BO' with a 10 year old how are you gonna handle condoms and STI's a little later on? I suggest you find a good book to start with, but not to read from cover to cover, just to give you a place to start a conversation. Ask her what kind of deoderant she would like, let her choose it. And let her have the book to read at her own pace, with the knowledge that she can ask you questions if she chooses. There probably are other girls at school using it, but too shy to talk about it. If they have talked there may be a 'cool' one to get which your daughter knows about. The most important thing is not to make her uncomfortable, but to open the line of communication between the two of you; this is only the beginning of a LOT of changes in store. Be brave. And just do it, its the best thing for your daughter that you are wise and mature about this topic. (even if you have to fake it at first).

Answer 3

First off spanking is not child abuse and neither would a short sharp slap across the mouth be if its totally deserved. I got a slap across the mouth only once -- and I never ever back chatted my mother again because I was most assuredly aware that I had crossed a line.

1. Her tone is totally unacceptable, make sure she knows it.
2. Don't engage in any conversation of a positive or negative nature until the tone changes. Simply tell her to change her tone or leave the room.
3. A 2 year old is reminded what and how to speak appropriately; why would that stop with a 9 year old?
4. She might be hormonal, but that's still no excuse.
5. If she's going to be unpleasant she can do it in the privacy of her own room and without disturbing another persons' day. She can come out when she's changed her attitude and can speak appropriately, until then, her life should be as boring as possible.
6. Don't be emotional about it, treat her behaviour dispassionately and business like. The more emotional or irrational you appear to her, the more she will do it.

Answer 4

Get rid of the TV.

You can call it punishment if you want, but her upbringing is being provided for by Nickelodean and Disney, both of which are trying to raise money.... not children.

Within 2 weeks you will see a huge difference.

(and if you are one of those who believes the Cell phones are god's gift to children..... get rid of that thing too, YOU raise your child, don't let others do it for you. Your daughter will love and respect you a lot more when you are being the parent instead of someone else)

Answer 5

My husband and I use spanking! Have been since they were young. My oldest is 10, and knows not to use her mouth before thinking. And Yes I wouldn't hesitate to spank her 10 year old tush if she needed it. Quite a few of us parents spank, it's what works best when you get in your situation (last resort). If that's not an option for you, find what possessions she values and take them away for a certain amount of time. She need a firm line drawn for her, something that will teach her will-power to stop and think before speaking. For ours, a tush that glows in the dark is the most dreaded consequence, there for that's what I can see going through her mind when she's about to talk back. It's all about her learning self discipline. That is taught by us creating these consequences.
Good Luck, age 9 for girls is tough!

Answer 6

my 6 year old son can be whiny and mouthy. there are definitely
days i like him more than others. i just look at him and quietly tell him that i ignore whiny and mouthy kids. he has to stop yelling and crying because he can't hear what i just whispered. then i quietly say it again and go sit down. within 2 minutes, he comes over and apologizes.
there have been instances when this hasn't worked. i have smacked his mouth more than once. it works when it is necessary.

Answer 7

Spanking a child is not child abuse. Ask any family service worker. Try taking away her privaliges for long periods of time, ie. grounding her. Suggest spanking her wouldn't hurt. Let her know who is the parent. You're letting her run your house. You're the reason she is acting that way anyway.

Answer 8

Smacking a child on the mouth IS NOT CHILD ABUSE!!!
Continue down your current path and you can guarantee that when you child becomes an adult - she/he will end up in prison all of the time - my son thanks you for this one.
You should have had her straightened out by age 2 - now it's a bit late and you will have to be more severe with the discipline.

Answer 9

I don't know how you punish your kids, but my mom and dad always found a good spanking would do the trick. Not of of their 10 children ever were allowed to talk back to them, use a harsh tone, slam the door too fast, say what instead of coming when they call us.....my parents are strict but I suggest, if spanking isn't for you, time-outs (trust me, she's not too old), put her on restriction, tell her she is not going anywhere other than school and home for the next, say....two weeks until she learns how to show some repect for you. You will not buy her anything extra, take away her cellphone, computer, TV priveleges, anything that she wants. Do this or she'lll think she can talk this way all the time. Take care, and I hope you and your daughter work this out. Good luck!

Answer 10

Who's fault is that? Well any way if it were me i would pop her in her mouth there is no reason to let her go on living herlife like that if you want her to have any friends you will slap her into line now