Whatever happened to the days when parents were the ones who raised their children,?

Question

and moms somehow just *managed*?
I see and hear so many things now about sahm's with nannies, parents needing *breaks* every few days, for goodness sake, how do these people think women managed in past times, when often they had 7 or 8 children, and housework was a damn sight harder than it is now!
I'm not old, don't get me wrong, I'm only 34! It just gets me bothered when so many women overcomplicate parenting to the max, and seem to forget that women have been doing it for thousands of years with a lot less help than they have!
What do others think?

I think a lot of people got the wrong end of the stick with this one. I'm NOT talking about sahm vs working moms, or anything like that. I'm talking about the way some women these days don't seem to be able to care for their children for more than a couple of days at a time without the help of a dozen other people!

Answer 1

AMEN. I tire of the pity parties as well. Women have been having babies, breastfeeding, struggling to survive, and taking care of kids for ages. We all should think about that from time to time.

Some days I don't know how I make it through. But I always do. And it's the life I chose, so I have no right to b*tch about it. Kids are gifts, no matter how difficult they may be. You don't b*tch about gifts. :)

Answer 2

I don't know if I agree with this fully.
Back in 'the day', you have to realize that grandma was probably live-in. And the ones with 7 and 8 children had the older ones helping out with the younger ones. I'm from a big family and I know the olders had to help with the youngers.

I don't that a sahm should have a nanny, but I do feel parents need 'breaks'. No one can handle a career that is 24/7 without allotted 'vacation' time.

I'm sure there are some extremes, but life as a whole (the dynamics) really is different different now opposed to then.

Answer 3

why would a stay at home mom need a nanny. shes the nanny i am a stay at home mom to a 4 year old mom.

some moms need a break. look at all thre military wives whose husbands are deployed overseas many times these women live in places where they dont know anyone and have their kids 24/7 all alone i was that mom and i was exhausted by month 3 and needed a day away from my son and i didnt get it.

times have changed alot in the last 100 years. women work now. and men run from their responsibilities. never compare the past to the present they are very different.

about once a week all parents if possible should get a few hours off from their kids its good for the kids and the parents hire a 16 year old babysitter and go out to dinner.

try being a stay at home mom in a city where you have few friends and no family and you will understand alot better. try being a military spouse. its not as easy as you make it

Answer 4

I am a single mom that is working full time and going to school to make a better life for my 2 year old. I live 2 hours from my family and do not trust others with the care of my child. So yes, I do need a break every once in a while.

Things were simpler back when all women did was raise the children and take care of the household as their job. Also, the reason that they had so many kids was to take care of the work load of life. Now most households are two income just to make ends meet. They also lived closer to family as a general rule. If you want to talk thousands of years ago or longer it was a clans job to make sure the kids were raised properly. You weren't expected to make play dates and trips to reading circles at the local library. I know my son doesn't need these things but I want him to be exposed to as many experiences as possible to help shape a well rounded young man.

Answer 5

It really depends on how far in the past you are talking about. Women in the past didn't have nothing else better to do, as they didn't have tv, computers, fancy restaruants, ect. They also didn't have the modern comforts of central heat & air. Or the fears of the child getting hurt by riding a bicycle or climbing on a slide. Now day's it's either too hot or cold to play outside. Making sure you child wears a helmet while they ride a bike, skateboard, ect. or the playground is covered with a soft material if the child should fall. Best yet, don't eat raw cookie dough. It's basically a combination of items, and they basically leave the parents trapped in a house with the kids all the time, as we don't have to go out and work the garden just so we can have some dinner tonight but hop in our nice car and drive to the store and pick something up.
I'm a SAHM, but I'm also a business owner. It's tough both ways. I don't have a nanny, but when work takes me out of the house, the kids go with me when possible. Sometimes they can't go, so they stay with grandma. We go out to eat, movies, ect. the kids come with us. I might get a break from the kids once a year if that. I enjoy my kids being with me, but every now and then I do want a break to escape all the daily stress and enjoy some one on one time with my husband. There is no way I could let someone else raise them for me. I guess I'm also old fashion on many topics of child safety, ect. The way I see it, I survived jumping out of trees, falling off of my bike, hitting the ground and eating raw cookie dough as so many others have in the past.
How do I keep the kids from driving me batty all the time. Easy. Give them something to do. We have a garden they enjoy helping with it. They love to use the vacuum, and help clean up the yard. It keeps them from getting bored and acting up.
In the end...yes we have all gotten lazy with our modern comforts.

Answer 6

I couldn't agree with you more. I have 3 kids, am a SAHM, and I don't get a lot of breaks either. You know what kills me? My cousin who works full times, sees her daughter a whole 2 hours out of the day and complains about what a pain she is. I just think, my God, you never see her, how can she bother you? I know some mom's have to work, but to me I sometimes think why bother having kids if you're not going to raise them? We have made do so I can have time with my kids, they're only little once. I just don't think some parents are as involved in their children's lives as they should be.

Answer 7

I am just slightly younger then you are. However, I think life was a lot easier many years ago. It is true that they would have a bunch of kids and the older children would start to parent the younger ones. Parents could drive around without a car seat, the kids could ride their bike several miles to go swiming (by themselves) in a near by lake or stream, children were left alone in a running car while mom shopped, children would be left at home alone until an older sibling came home from school or parents could bring their children to work with them.

I think parents now have a lot more threat of predators (child molesters, murder, abduction, etc). If you allow your child to play outside without constant supervision you are frowned upon my others. I think parents now are a lot more hands on then some parents were in the past.

I remember being allowed to roam around the property with my older brother until dinner time. Parents don't and won't allow their children to do that.

I am certainly not knocking parents from the past, they had it tough, too. But times have changed, there is a lot more pressure on parents today. I have to admit, I like my free time away from the kids. I enjoy those several hours when my Husband takes them out and I don't see anything wrong with wanting a little "me time", too.

Answer 8

Wow. This is a good one.

I have one child and am pregnant with #2. I work full time and so does my husband. We work opposite shifts so that WE can raise our kids. My daughter is with me at work a few hours a day and when we get home I still have to do all of the "mom" things that stay home moms have to do. And wouldn't have it any other way. I am exhausted more often then not, but its for a good reason. Every once in a great while (my daughter is 2 and we have been out 3 times in the 2 years) someone will offer to watch our daughter, my husband and I will have dinner or (sneak away for an hour...)

My theory, don't have then if you don't plan to take the time to raise them....

Answer 9

I think, there is no need to judge others parenting. If they want a nanny for when they are at work or out, then let them have a nanny. If they dont want one, then thats great. Thats like saying "you are a horrible parent for having a nanny watch your kids while you are away and having a nanny to clean and cook." Remember back in the day, women did not really work. They were home full time. Also way back in the old old days, parents had kids to have workers. Women now a days have careers. Now if you're asking if I would get a nanny, no I wouldn't, but I don't look down on people who do have nannies.

Answer 10

I think that stay at home mom's do need a break sometimes. I think all mom's need a break now and then. Those mom's who had 7 or 8 kids managed because they relied on the older kids to help with the younger kids a lot more than most parents rely on their children today to help with their siblings. They were also more likely to leave all the kids at home together while they went to the market. Most parents today wouldn't dream of leaving their kids home alone. And they didn't end up doing everything by themselves because they had 7 or 8 kids to help with the house cleaning and ironing and laundry and preparing meals. They weren't just doing it all while their kids played video games. Plus they were more likely to have grandparents living in the house with them so there were often 2 adult women at home to take care of things.

Answer 11

"Back in the day" most women didn't go off to the office and everyone had a network of stay-at-home moms, their own moms, sisters, cousins, friends and such that would come and help out whenever need. That just don't happen anymore with everyone working. I am a sahm that gets no help from anyone, as I said, all my friends and family work. My husband works six sometimes seven days a week. Sometimes it's a challenge to get a shower on a daily basis. Everyone deserves a break once in a while. Even my boss gave me a vacation when I was in the corporate world (oh yeah, and it was paid too)!

Oh, and by the way ~ I do do it all myself with no help from a nanny or a maid!