Help !! Is it ok to go and have a quick drink with a male friend?

Question

This guy from work offered to go for a drink after work today and i would like to as he is a really nice person to talk to... Although i have no intentions with the guy i feel so guilty for going as my boyfriend is currently abroad visiting his parents. Is it bad to go for a drink with this colleauge even if its just friendly intentions? Personally i wouldnt like my boyfriend to have a drink with a female friend? am i obsessing? should i go or not?

and by the way to answer some questions out there i dont like the guy at all!

Answer 1

Do you care how your bf would feel about it?

This has nothing to do with "is it ok" by some strangers definition. It has to do with whether you care about your bf's feelings or not. We know none of the details about this but you've said that you wouldn't want your bf doing it so there is something about it that isn't right.

In response to the Additional Details:

So why are you potentially destroying your relationship to have a drink with someone you don't like?

...

Answer 2

If you say that you have no intentions on having a relationship with your co-worker, then it is ok to go. But if your worried about what your boyfriend would do or say if he found out, then you should do the following. If this coworker is just interested in having a drink or two, then invite a friend or two from work (female friends) so that your not alone. Whether you let your coworker know you invited some friends or not shouldn't matter to him, if his intentions are to just be friends and hang out for a little. If he gets upset or says that he just wanted to be with you only, then he may have just wanted to try to get you drunk, and maybe get you when your guard is down. by inviting your friends along, your boyfriend cant get mad because it wasn't a pseudo-date. But if you personally wouldn't like your boyfriend to go have a drink with a female friend, ask yourself if it would bother you if he had drinks with two guys and a female.

Answer 3

I think you need to be a little less insecure about the situation. There is no harm in having a drink and conversation with a colleague. I do that all the time and my boyfriend completely understands. Are you supposed to not have friends your whole life? Or only female friends? That is not realistic. You should be OK with him doing the same. It sounds like there may be some trust issues that go a little deeper. If you and your boyfriend are not OK with each other socializing with work friends, then this is probably something you should discuss when he gets back. Until then, have a drink and good time!

Answer 4

I don't think so. Not out to dinner or anything, but just think if you were in your boyfriends shoes. Girlfriend going to get a drink with a guy who may have intentions of asking you out or trying to kiss you. He's abroad and can't do anything about it, in a different country. Yep, I wouldn't like that. Why don't you ask your boyfriend before you go. If he says he's okay with it then i say go. If he isn't and you truly love him, don't... Hope this helps.

Answer 5

there is nothing wrong with having a drink with a friend, IF, GREAT BIG IF, he only wants a drink as a friend.

if you know this guy, you are comfortable with him, you know he wont even suggest anything, then go.

i have female friends who i am close to, i have been alone with and their boyfriends knew it. i would love to try something, but they have made it clear that they are not interested and they know i will not try anything.

and guys dont care what your intentions are, its are intentions we care about.

a drink always means the guy is trying a less direct route for a date or sex. a woman who is not sure of the guy will take a drink offer before she will take a dinner date.
and of course, we hope she gets drunk.
the only exception to this rule is if you know him well, and know he knows your not interested.

also, we guys are like wild animals. you are seen as an easy target because the boyfriend is gone. like a wounded animal.

i wouldnt go unless you really trust this guy.

Answer 6

DON'T DO IT!! If you know you wouldn't like your bf having a drink with another woman, WHY would you do it to him? After few drinks you won't be thinking rationally (and the guy who asked you out KNOWS this). Why aren't you considering asking your boyfriend to go with you? If it's nothing more than a friendly drink, there shouldn't be a problem with him being there.

Answer 7

If you don't trust your boyfriend enough that he couldn't go with a female friend then you obviously shouldn't go. My best friend is a guy, which my fiance has no problem with, cause I don't mind him having close friends that are girls. It's a trust issue, and if you are worrying this much about it, then it isn't a good idea at all. Tell him that you want to wait til your boyfriend gets back so that you all can go, and then you will see if he thinks it's just friendly or not. :) Good luck.

Answer 8

well, be honest about it with ur bf. Maybe try to take a gf with you, but if it's just a friendly drink, there's no harm in it. If you think you'll get tipsy/drunk and make out with the guy or something, then don't. You should be able to hang out with guy friends whether or not you have a significant other. It's all about trusting yourself and trusting each other. Just know your boundaries and limits. and make sure the guy isnt gonna try to play u.

Answer 9

If you would not ike your boyfriend to do the same than I would say you should not go but if you do go just make sure that the friend from work knows your intentions are only friendly ones and tell your boyfriend about it without making it a big deal. & don't get drunk!! ;)

Answer 10

Well maybe u should talk to ur boyfriend! Ask him if its ok with him! Respect his feelings! And if he says its ok dont take advantage and meet ur colleauge with other intentions! Good luck! Hope this helps!