How can I help a four year old to stop wetting her bed?

Question

She's my step daughter and we see her every two weekends. For her school holidays we have her for a whole month and me and my husband, have been trying to help her to stop wearing diapers at night.
Her mother insists in keeping her a baby. She still takes a bottle and pacifier and really acts as much younger.
She's been trying hard but she often had accidents and we always end up with her bed wet.
We do not give her drinks at night and make her go to the toilet before going to sleep.
We also talk to her and explain that we will not get mad, but that she has to learn for her own good.
She is a little girl living in two families, with her mom in a rather difficult environment (living also with grandparents) and with us.
I'd like to help her more, so if you shared your experiences it would maybe help us help her.
Thanks in advance.

Answer 1

Night training is like puberty in that you can't control when it happens, you can't 'learn' it, it's going to happen at different times for different kids. At some point, the body/mind just stops allowing the body to urinate while the child is sleeping. It is *nothing that the child can control in any way* - they are sleeping when it happens - they cannot make it not happen - they are not deciding to urinate in the night - they just wake up wet.

That said... You can help the child to be dry in the morning by - limiting liquids before bed, allowing the child to wear a pullup when they sleep, waking the child in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, making sure the child has a regular night-time routine so that they don't get too exhausted & sleep too deeply at night. Those are all just coping techniques, though. None of them will flip that switch in the child's brain/hormonal system that keeps them from urinating while they sleep.

Four years old & still night-wetting is really no big deal. Not all that unusual.

Answer 2

I have the exact same problem. My daughter is almost 5 and last year we were worried with this and did some on line research and talked with her pediatrician. First of all, it is common for this to go on up to 5 yrs old. The doctor also prescribed an ultra sound exam to check if all was okay, it was. What we have been doing is making sure she doesn't drink to much after a certain hour and pees before going to bed. I also wake her up about two hours after she's asleep and make her pee. Here is where things get nasty. For some reason, she always tried to avoid peeing before sleeping and - of course - in the middle of the night. As a matter of fact, I would sit her on the toilet and she'd only squirt for a second or two. But by talking a lot to her we have been able to convince her that she has to pee. Now she pees all she can and, in effect, has been able to go nights without wetting the bet.

Answer 3

You can get an alarm that goes under the sheet and as soon as there is a little moisture a bell rings and wakes you up. Make her bed so you have a waterproof sheet and a sheet, then another waterproof sheet and a sheet on top so when she wets the bed it is quick and easy to get her back into bed. Have a sticker chart so she gets a sticker every time she has a dry night. Have a really cool prize for when she gets 50, say a night in a hotel, something she can't do while she wets the bed. Talk about how she will soon want to go on sleep overs and stay with friends, so it isn't just 'for her own good' but something she really wants to do.

Answer 4

My advice: don't worry about the bed wetting. It is very common in kids her age. Get good pull up's (my son has to wear two so he doesn't leak), and a waterproof mattress pad. Use pull ups instead of diapers, it will be better for her self image.

My daughter had this problem till age 6 and my son is having it now, age 5. She really will outgrow it. Tell her it is no big deal, lots of kids do this and there is nothing wrong with her. When her body is ready she will outgrow it. Then just help her be comfortable with the pull ups and mattress pad.

Think of it this way: when she gets older, she will never again be able to sleep as soundly as she does right now, and I think that is just what her young, growing brain needs!!

I would be more concerned about the bottle and pacifier. I would try to get those away from her as quickly as possible.

Good luck, you are a special step mom to care so much for her. She is lucky to have you!!

Answer 5

With some children it is a developmental problem, a doctor could tell you if this is the case. They just lack the control, kind of like how a young child cannot walk until their spine can support them. It will solve itself in time and the child really has no control and it is great that you don't make her feel bad.
But, considering what you've said about her situation it could very well be psychological. This would require some counselling. When a child's life is in an uproar they often feel insecure and confused, this may be the bodies way of letting you know there are some problems that need to be addressed.
Best of luck to you. You sound like a truly loving and caring step parent. All the best to you.

Answer 6

okay first of all the mother needs to stop babying her that is not good that she almost four and still using a bottle that is the first thing
i am unsure on how i can help you the awnser is that the mother4 needs to raise her child and if she is not capable then she needs to allow someone else to do it
somethings to look into: neurological problems is she delayed in all of her milestones?
are her adenoids correct. for instance my brother wet the bed until he was 8 or 9 due to his adenoids being to big he slept harder which made it impossible to wake when he got the urge.
most importantly don't yell at her or embarrass her enjoy the time that you have and try to talk to the mother. if this child is being neglected try family court.
i am a mother of three. a four year old boy( who was potty trained at 2 cup trained by1) a 2 year old girl who we are in the process of potty training, she doesn't have a bottle) and a 4 month old
you are not going to be able to this on your own it has to be an effort of all involved

Answer 7

My best friends son had problems with bed wetting. The pediatrician said no drinks 2 hours before bed and no milk after supper at all. I guess milk goes through you system faster.

4 is still pretty young, if she had a growth/developement issue in which her bladder didn't grow as fast as she did, it may not be her fault.

Here is some great info from webmd, until she keeps her pantie dry, I would continue to use pullups or goodnights (not diapers but disposable training pants so she feels like a big girl).

http://children.webmd.com/Should-I-treat-my-childs-bed-wetting

Answer 8

You might want to take her to the Dr. My friend went through the same thing with herr son, and found out that while he was growing his kidneys were not. Also it sounds like the lil one has a lot of stress going on in her life. Ressure her that she is safe and loved in our house. Start up a routine that is followed in your home. Kids like strutrce even if they fight you on it at first. Make going to te potty fun like getting a sticker (or something small she likes) everytime she goes potty in the toilet. Also you might want to wake her up a few hours after she goes to bed and have her go potty again. Kids at that age have a really hard time waking up to go potty. It sounds like she is pretty lucky to have a step mom that cares so much about her.

Answer 9

Not an easy situation, for sure. There's a lot going on in that little head! But you and your hubby need support and encouragement as you help her deal with all this.

I recommend the free report you can get at the site below.

Answer 10

Your kid is quite aware of whats happening and every time she wakes up she is instantly upset because of it... eventually this will come to pass, but in the meantime, keep a plastic mattress cover on the bed until she does...
I had wetting issues until I was 6 or 7 so it's not uncommon, and trust me, she's not doing it out of spite, or carelessness... Everytime she wakes up, the first thing she thinks about is...have I done it again?...and checks and hopes she hasn't...
It'll pass... good luck