bf mom drama?

Question

I am so confused can someone please help me! when i was preg in Oct 2006 My boyfriend's mom asked us to move in with her . we said yes! but not knowing it was a BIG mistake. The agreement was she didn't smoke in the house and when i had the baby there was no drinking in the house . It was drama from day one! she would not drive us to any appointments , do anything for us. we were trying to save money for the baby. She drinks a lot and she has a problem with it . On her days off of work which is 2 days a week she drinks . now a couple of drinks is fine but she would sit on the living room by her self and get drunk. When she was "sick" she would sleep there 2 days away. but that isn't to offend . Me and my boyfriend talked about who was gonna be in the room with me when i have the baby and we deiced my mom and my boyfriend . and if for some reason my mom didn't want to or couldn't make it then his mom would! She got really jealous. She smoked in the house while i was preg . my boyfriend said something to her and she told us if we didn't like it then move out. we didn't have anywhere else to go so we stayed. About 2 days before my due date she bought her liquor and we told her she cant go to the hospital all drunk and she said "oh well" . I had my son on a Saturday we came home on a Monday and that Thursday she drank. my boyfriend lost it and they got into a big fight about it . he poured her liquor out and she kicked us out. i told her once we got our own apt she is to have nothing to do with our kids until she gets help for her drinking. she has not bought the baby anything since he has been born and he is now 5 months. she bought him and Easter chocolate egg for Easter! Did i do the right thing or am i being selfish too?

Nope , she did not try to help us at all. we lived with my mom .

Answer 1

I understand how confused you are, i guess you are a young girl, you need to be strong for your baby. Your boyfriend should talk to his mother about her behaviour, but talk maybe one day she when she is sitting quietly really talk smooth to her were she can understand him, dont talk to her with an actitude or demanding but let her sea wath her behaviour is causing because you dont want any more trouble at home, she did not act right or responsibly you probably dont get along with your own mother yourself and maybe thats why you also chose to move in with your boyfriend but she is your mother and family is better than others in some cases, i dont think you should have your baby growing in an alcohol enviorment muchless smoking, i feel that you really need to talk but a serious talk, maybe a family meeting were everyone take a reonsability and unite you are all a family, now you need to unite not separate if you try this meeting were all of you decide to commit and improve try to get along and problem stilll remains then maybe its best not to try the unity stuff, but you should all try because you all need each other support and remember God loves you pray he will help you even when you think you are alone he is with you crying with you but he is a gentleman he wont come in your life unless you invite him in, take care honey and good luck

Answer 2

You made the right decision on moving out because your baby's health is your first concern. On the other hand I don't think it's right not to allow the grandmother the right to see her grand baby as long as she doesn't do anything that could harm him health wise or any other way, What she does to her own health when she's not around him is her problem. I would let her know if she wants to see him it would be under your conditions, in a smoke free environment and never would she be allowed to even have alcohol in her system when visiting him. This way if she doesn't have a relationship with him she can't blame no one but herself.

Answer 3

"bf mom drama?"

What does your b/f relationship with his mother have to do with you is what came to mind when I read this post. He is an adult and it's ok for you and he (who are also not married) to personally choose not to become an alcoholic but it's selfish to deny a woman's existance which many women are doing today. What would you do if your b/f started scouting out ALL your parent's present bad habits and demanded 100% disconnection? What would your do if his mother said you will not come to this home because you aren't married...which didn't and won't probably happen in your case but what if?

There are things you can do together as a family where it is illegal to drink starting with your own home ; |

Answer 4

Congratulations on the baby. I hope you continue to protect him as you have been. It was very nice of his Mother to offer you and her Son assistance when you needed it, but now that the baby has arrived, it is only right that the 3 of you should be in your own home where you can restrict the smoking and drinking as you please. Don't worry about offending your baby's Grandmother over her bad habits. Maybe, it will help her quit those bad habits.

Answer 5

You and your boyfriend were concerned about the right things - you baby's health and well-being! You have every right to ban her from seeing her grandson until she straightens out. It's sad that she so dependant on liquor that she would miss out on seeing her grandson, but it's the way it has to be. You did the right thing by moving out. She could easily have hurt you, your boyfriend, or your baby in one of her drunken rages and no one wants that. Hold your ground until she goes to AA and stops drinking.

Good Luck and Congrats on the baby!

Answer 6

Yikes. that could be a complicated one. Your boyfriend's mom continues to be linked to his ex female pal and for some reason is unwilling to enable her out of their lives. possibly she is secretly harboring a want that she and her son will reunite. you're able to desire to ask your boyfriend to make it crystal sparkling that that's not, ever, in any lifetime ever going to ensue and which you and the toddler are the concentration of his life now. He needs to make her be responsive to how plenty this preoccupation with the ex female pal is hurting you and him. And that it is not sturdy for the toddler, the two. it extremely is time on your boyfriend's mom to interrupt up along with his ex female pal. yet, I warning you, don't be the only to wade in and press the situation, have it come from her son. she would be waiting to be far extra probably to alter what she is doing if he talks to her approximately it. in case you bounce in and start up stressful that she back faraway from the ex female pal, it is going to purely reason her to bypass extra suitable in her course and reason much extra rigidity. sturdy success. And congratulations on your new toddler!

Answer 7

She tried to help you when no one else would.