im going out with my 2nd cousin...?

Question

2 weeks ago this lush guy commented my on myspace saying he'd seen me around..we swapped email addresses and talked on msn

we then arrangd to meet at the skatepark the next day

isaw him and i immediatly had a crush on him..he was lovely, and so kind

we wre talking and as the conversation went on we realised by the end of it that we were 2nd cousins..

my mum's cousin is hid dad

we both arent bothered by this in anyway as we're not really 'family' but we're still related

we get some jokes thrown at usfrom ourfriends calling us incest etc

we ignore these and laugh them off buyt it annoys me at the same time

i know 2 people who's 2nd cousins are going out

it's not that bad is it??

i mean..it's not as if we're gonna get married and have kids.

Answer 1

Not good.
You both are still joined by blood.
What does your parents think about this?
3rd cousins to me is still sickening, but I guess what ever floats your boat...

Answer 2

Well, my parents were 1st cousins, and they produced two normal healthy children. I then married and produced three normal healthy children, and my brother did the same.

In the UK, many years ago, there was a law against the marriage of first cousins, but that was repealed a long time before my parents married in 1942.

There is nothing wrong, providing of course that it isn't officially against the law of the country where you live, with marrying a close relative, with the exception of for example brother marrying sister. That relationship is just too close genetically, since both have the same parents - though there are probably few if any siblings who would even think of their brothers/sisters in that light!

The law that forbade the marriage of first cousins was made in order to prevent too many close intermarriages occurring in successive generations. When that happens, any children of those marriages can easily be either physically or mentally handicapped, because of the genetic component of close inter-breeding. All the tiny genetic flaws that occur in all DNA are multiplied and magnified by continuing inter-familial marriage.

The Spanish royal family, for example, produced many "bleeders" centuries ago, for this very reason. There was a genetic fault that was passed on by the women of the family and affected only the men, which caused them to suffer from haemophilia - the bleeding disease, where the blood fails to clot normally. This was a direct result of too much in-breeding.

Usually such marriages of family members with others happen very rarely in the same family, and as genetic inheritance became better understood, this was recognised and the law against the marriage of first cousins, for example, was repealed.

Enjoy your friendship with your second cousin, ignore the ignorant and unkind remarks of others who have no manners, in addition to knowing nothing on the subject. If it leads you to a deeper and more permanent relationship, good luck to you!

wimsey

Answer 3

hey there,
i have been in your situation before!
i had a crush on my 2nd cousin and he also had a crush on me but i was too scared to do anything with him even go out with him.

this made me restless for over 3 years till he travelled to seychelles.
after he was gone was when i realised that i was being silly.
why should i have to care what others think of me? they dont feed me nor help me in any way.

i was realy depresed 4 some time but it was too late for anything to change, he had gone and i had to move on with my life.

you should do something before its too late, if you still feel uncomfortable ask a family member whom you are close to help you out by advising you.

get to talk to your mum or dad about this, dont be shy afterall they may just find out. if ur mum and dad is ok with it then nothing and no one should worry u ever again.

take care guys, hope the best for u. tc

Answer 4

I am adopted and no nothing about my real family !!!!! I am 54 yrs old and could have logically dated even a first cousin how was I supposted to know ,. Good luck I won't worry about what any one says.It is not like you are marring him`!!!

Answer 5

3rd cousins and closer are a no-no.........read your bible........
if you were to be married the children could have crossed eyes and all kinds of medical problems....and I am sure your parents would not be happy about this.......
even if you don't get married are you going to refrain from having sex? Anything can happen.......God bless

Answer 6

Hi there ive heard of this before but its usually with 1st cousins i think its a tradition with the irish. I dont think what your doing is wrong you didnt intentionally go out to date your cousin it just turned out that way . ignore everyones comments and good luck.

Answer 7

ur right, its not as if ur gonna get married and have kids.

so just humor those who tease u, like... "oh yeah, i've got a crush on my cous, what's the big fuzz?"

and i believe theres no law that prohibits second cousins from getting married.

Answer 8

It's ok to date your second cousin, just not acceptable by many people.

Answer 9

no you have to be first cousins for it to be against the law it is because of having kids they can be retarded or soemthing like that inbreeding they call it

Answer 10

I married mine, so what's the prob?