how many students does it take tochange a lightbulb?dont giv me grief im welsh see wot it ses bout our student

Question

Aberystwyth: None - Most of them are still sleeping in the basketball court following housing shortages.

St. Andrews: Three - One to call the butler and two to arrange a tailor in Rome to design and make new suits for the special occasion. If a light bulb in a major building blows then increase to 27 to allow for a brass band playing the last post and five Sun reporters. The following day's Sun will contain something along the lines of "Will's Pals in Blown Bulb Horror".

Aston: None - And stay down, they shoot at the lights, that's why the last one went.

Bath: Seven - Five to form a radical new initiative called 'TeamBulb Focus', one to make a public announcement stating "A successful environment is not about pushing yourself to the absolute limit" and one to change the light bulb before it's actually blown.

Birmingham: Nine - One to steal a new bulb from the back of a shop, two for the wheelmen and six to go shoot out all the light bulbs in some Aston student houses.

Cambridge: Three - one to mix the martinis, one to call the electrician and one to call daddy to pay for the bill.

Cardiff: None - instructions on packet are in Welsh and everyone is too busy shagging sheep to worry about lightbulbs.

Coventry: Two - One to take the bulb out and another to glass a random stranger's face with it.

DeMontfort: Seven - Two to change the bulb and five to write an interpretive modern drama about the experience.

Glasgow None of your f***ing business!

Leeds: Three - One to change it and two to find a way to get high off the old bulb.

Leicester: Four - One to change the bulb and three to complain bitterly that it wouldn't have been allowed to happen at Oxbridge, so please give us some funding. Please.

Liverpool: Only one, but he gets 10 course credits for doing it.

Newcastle: Eight - One to find a
red 'Fireglow' bulb, one to mount it near the window and the other six to wait inside.

Nottingham: 46.
One to pick and change the bulb.
25 to find out where in their huge campus it needs to be.
20 to write about how the introduction of Scouts would be a brilliant and individual idea and how original it would be (thus separating them from their unfortunate counterparts that managed to get in to Oxbridge).

Oxford: change? change?? CHANGE???????? Ok, let's do it in 300 years.

Oxford Brookes: Five - One to take the bulb out and four to stick their fingers in the socket.

Paisley: Between three and ten, depending on how far through the term it is, to club together their remaining funds to purchase a new light bulb.

Plymouth: Six - One to change it and five to campaign to make light bulb changing a new degree subject.

Pontypridd: Ten - One to buy the light bulb and nine to petition for the eventual electrification of Pontypridd.

Reading: Three - One to pull the bulb out and two to complain when the socket and ceiling come down with it through dry rot.

Salford: 16 - one to change the lightbulb and 15 others to keep scallies from beating the s**t out of the first one.

Sheffield: 51 - one to change the bulb and 50 to sit around saying they were well clever enough to change it but they couldn't be bothered.

UCL: Two - One to change the bulb and the other to say loudly how he did it as well as an Oxbridge student.

UMIST: Five - One to design a nuclear powered light bulb that never needs changing, one to figure out how to power the rest of Greater Manchester using said light bulb, two to install it, and one to write the computer program that controls the wall switch.

UNL: Nobody Knows - The light bulbs stay with North London U. longer than the students.

Warwick: 76 - One to change the light bulb, 50 to protest the light bulb's right to not change, and 25 to hold a counter protest allowing for permissible change in light bulbs, as long as the light bulbs accept it.

York: Three - One to change the bulb and one to check his maths coursework

i found this on a liverpool student website

Answer 1

HAHAHAHA! Excellent! :]

Answer 2

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Answer 3

How many christchurch (NZ) high school students does it take to change a lightbulb?

Rangi Ruru - One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.

Hornby High - Two. One to change the bulb and one to figure out how to get high off the old one.

St Bedes - None. They're all too drunk to notice and even when they're sober if they spot a hole they just put their willy in it.

Girls High - One. She'll put through a call to maintenance staff because there's no way she's going to do manual labour.

Hillmorton - None. That place looks better in the dark.

Riccarton - Six. One to change it but only after the other five have found an interpreter to translate the English instructions.

Burnside High - Seventy six. One to change the globe. Fifty to protest the globe's right not to change and twenty five to stage a counter protest.

Christ's College - None. Those poor bastards are keeping their backs to the wall even if it means standing in the dark. "If you can't get a girl, get a Christ's boy".

Avonside - Five. One to change it, two to make sure her hair ribbons are still in place and another two to make sure her bag looks cool at all times.

Linwood High - Six. Four to break into the store, one to steal the globe and one to install it.

Villa Maria - None. It is too unsafe for pregnant girls to attempt such a dangerous task.

Papanui High - ten. One to change the bulb. One to call their dealer and eight to have a session why they wait.

Aranui High - None. Everything not welded down had been flogged long ago.

Hagley - None. Everyone is either suspended or bunking (including the teachers).

Boys High - Two, one to change the bulb and one to make the observation that it isn't half as bright as the light shining from their arses.

Marian - None. They only have to give head to the Shirley boys and it's done for them.

Shirley Boys - None. They're too busy covertly breaking the bulbs over at Marian so they can get head.

Rangiora High - None. Electricity has yet to make it out that far.

St Thomas's - Four. One to change the bulb, three to count how many times he mentions rugby and f^$%king someones mother.

St Margarets - None. The Butler can do it.

Cashmere High - None. They really can't be bothered, and there's surfing to be done.

Lincoln High - three - one to change it and two to hold the sheep still so he can stand on it.


haha some of hem are similar

Answer 4

Excellent have a star, i was at glasgow so i defo kno that 1 is ture lol now F*~k off hahahaha

Answer 5

I didn't go to uni so I can change light bulbs just fine. Plugs too :) have a star.

Answer 6

2

Answer 7

1

Answer 8

Wow, thats alot of reading.

Answer 9

2 points

a) UMIST no longer exists it merged with Manchester uni (was a bad move)

b) i went to UMIST / Manchester uni and it only takes me i can change the light bulb and do the other stuff

Answer 10

thats quite long but very good have a star.

Answer 11

Now that was much better and offended no one.

Well done Jonesy. Have a star.