A question for fellow atheists?

Question

I was brought up Catholic but recently lost all belief and now class myself as atheist. I do not believe in any deity or higher being.

However, recently when I`ve been upset by events in the news (or personal life) I`m finding it hard because I feel like I want to pray for someone i.e. somebody who died or is suffering.
But then I really ,really don`t think there is anyone to pray to and I feel even worse.

I suppose I`m trying to say that I find it hard sometimes without having the comfort of any type of god to appeal to in hard times.

Have any other atheists ever felt this way?
How do you cope when faced with tragic news?

Thanks to everyone who answered, it was really hard to choose a best answer.

Answer 1

Given your upbringing, the impulses you are having in reaction to tragic news and events is entirely understandable. You are at that stage where your old coping strategies have been undercut by your rational evaluation of their underlying assumptions, but you've not yet established and practiced new ways of coping.

What I do in these instances is to try to gain a larger perspective.

Here's an example of how my internal dialogue goes: I'm disappointed because my hopes and expectations of life have been proved to be unrealistic. Reality has supplied me with me a lesson to learn, and if I want to, I can learn it now. Or I can wait until later. In the grand scheme of things, periods of joy are always followed by periods of sorrow, no state of affairs can ever claim to be truly permanent, and wisdom is much more a byproduct of pain than it is of pleasure. People throughout the ages have, in some way, had to face this exact type of problem, and despite their belief systems, they have found ways to cope. The good news is that I am standing on their shoulders, and I can learn from others how to grow from this experience, but only if I'm open to letting it nourish me more than create fear or hurt.

Several years ago my life partner died of cancer, I've had some career trouble, and I've had to deal with various reactions to my being gay. Thoughts like those above have proved beneficial. I hope that helps you.

^v^ ^v^ ^v^ ^v^ ^v^ ^v^ ^v^ ^v^

Answer 2

It is hard and that is what non-atheists usually don't understand, ie. that being an atheists can be quite a hard life emotionally because you don't have the crutch of an imaginary higher power. For instance, the "god must have had a plan" that's why it happened. That is comfort for those who believe it.
I usually rile against humanity when I see tragic news and if its nature-orientated I can't help but feel a little bit of satisfaction even though I feel terribly sorry for the people who suffers because of it. Personal tragedy is a bit harder since everyone deals with it in their own way, so I don't really know how to answer you there.

Answer 3

Getting upset is okay. Life is like that some times.

Seek comfort from your friends and loved ones. If you get the urge to pray, look deeper. It might be the urge to motivate yourself to take real action and make a real difference in the world by your actions.

Although I'm an atheist, this is also a common approach of some Christians I know, as well as some Buddhists and people of other faiths. For many of us there's not a great difference between prayer, or meditation, or sitting quietly, or contemplation, or gentle thinking.

Answer 4

I understand as a prior believer, that there was a comfort of sorts in having this all powerful being that you can go run to like you would a parent. Now I realize that many of the activities associated with getting through "hard times" are primarily having good friends and/or family that you can talk to and receive encouragement from. I also realize that the "comfort" granted by a god was simply just hope in tomorrow and resolving to continue.

Death is not the tragic end of everything that Christians tend to believe, it's just a part of nature and happens to all organisms. It's much harder on the living as we miss the departed, but they live on in our memories and we can honor them by celebrating life.

Answer 5

I sometimes still have problems with that. When I was a person of faith, I found it very comforting to pray to God to relieve suffering. But while appealing to a higher power may make us feel less helpless, that's all it accomplishes. What I do now, as a Humanist, is turn my compassion, anger, or anguish into action. Even if I can't do anything about the news story that upset me--and oftentimes you can by contacting a legislator or donating money through an international charity,--I can still do something positive in my community. I rally my fellow Humanists to give blood or donate their time at one of the local hospitals.

"The world is full of suffering, but it is also full of the overcoming of it." ~ Helen Keller

Answer 6

It just goes to prove that religion is indoctrination. The idea of preying is so deeply routed in your brain that you still feel it is the right thing to do even though you no longer have anything to prey to!

I was brought up in a none-practising Anglican household and was allowed to form my own opinions. When I am in the same situation as you have just described I do not feel the need to prey. You do not need to go through a physical act to show that you feel sympathy for disastrous news situations - the fact that you are affected by these things proves that you are a good person. If you feel that you have to physically do something you could donate money to a charity or even volunteer - far more use than preying!!

Good luck to you - and well done for seeing through the smoke and mirrors of organised religion and being your own person.

Answer 7

If someone is suffering, do something active and palpable about it.

If someone dies, I deal with it. Life is a cycle, nature is a cycle. We move on, we hold love in our hearts and give to others. We remember the fallen with honour and love if that is what they deserved.

We move and remember, both very important I feel. A nice way of remembering and honouring a departed loved one is to do something for them. Set up a charity, place a marker, do something that would have been in line with the best side of them? If they loved children, give to children's charity, if they loved animals, help an animal shelter on a regualr basis?

If they were cantankerous but loved nature (like me) plant a tree every year for them.

Answer 8

prayer ?? just prey it is a way for you to express a need or you could choose a related charity and donate to that.
don't put to much emphasis on pray is only for a god Buddhists pray but not to a god or Buddha for things to be done but to express and sow the seed in their mind of how to help. so prayer can be a internal reflection on what you can do and to calm yourself to do something for others without god being involved.

and before anyone says Buddhists do pray to Buddha. Buddha said no-one can liberate another they have to liberate themselves

Answer 9

22 years of strict Catholic upbringing and Catholic school, Catechism, Sunday Church, the saints, the pope, the bible....then one day I woke up.

Because you were brainwashed for so many years it is so hard to rub it out of your system. It's like a bad habit that comes back once in a while, a splinter that never goes away, a neurosis that follows you around.

I know....

Answer 10

I don't think anybody can proclaim a faith or a position on a higher power until after the experience of a loved one dieing and also after one experiences the birth of a loved one. Those experiences are life changing ones and until one witnesses them, I feel that person is not qualified to proclaim oneself as this or that.

When my Dad died, I assumed I was an atheist. But his sudden death at 54, shook my family to the foundation. Seeing people praying for my dad, comforted me. I was an observer going through the motion of a catholic funeral, and it made me feel better letting my mind go blank.

Every religion has prayer in common. There is no denying it, human concentration is a powerful thing. prayer is a pscyhological short-cut to zen. There are many ways to get there. Meditation, Yoga, being in the zone during physical activity. When your mind focuses and goes blank, the outside world is cut off.

But I could not abondon my scientific based view of reality. The hypocrisy of relgion sees no bounds. I could not get past my objections against religion. But after my wife gave birth to my first daughter. I was awed by the human body. I was floored after I experienced this function of the human body. Birth of a live being, modeled after our genetic map. I knew it was millions of years of evolution, but it was mind-boggling.

Humanity is at the doorstep of knowledge, looking in. Tremendous steps forward have been taken by science. But science CANNOT trace back to the singularity. The beginning. When science got down to the singularity of this universe, the big boom, they ended up with a new singularity, an infinitely more complex one.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Multiverse

How you, a tiny speck on this planet - which is a tiny speck in the corner of this galaxy - which is a tiny speck within this universe - which is a tiny bubble in an ocean of other tiny bubbles....came to be is a mystery. How can one be sure there isn't a God? I for one have decided to believe in a reason for existance.

Deism is the recognition of a universal creative force greater than that demonstrated by mankind, supported by personal observation of laws and designs in nature and the universe, perpetuated and validated by the innate ability of human reason coupled with the rejection of claims made by individuals and organized religions of having received special divine revelation.