Just wondering what all the R&S people think about this?

Question

Both sides of my family are what they call devote Catholics. I am now Pagan. Wait hold your fire before condeming me. They ALL tried to BULLY me and Blackmail me into staying with the Cathlolic religion, even though I didn't pratice it except at their warped funerals. Do you feel that bullying someone and blackmailing someone is the way to get them to follow Christianity or Catholism and if you do why?


My aunt and uncle complained and whined about having to come back from their vacation to attend my father's funeral. This same uncle and aunt would NOT give my cousin permission to marry the man she loved until he converted to Catholism, which he did. Also my aunt was siting behind me at my dad's funeral cheerily chatting away about how much fun she had on the partical vacation. I suppose that is a Christian way to act as well. So now defend their behavior and crucify me.

I hid the fact I was Pagan for about ten years before I came out.

starwhitedwarf
You did not answer the question so I have to assume you agree with bullying and blackmail by Catholics.

Mary B
Not all people think like you. Two of the answers so far support blackmail and bullying.

This really blew my mind but when the vessel(mother) said that saving animals was a waste of time I was horrified.

THEIR side of the STORY? Read my blogs. Abuse victims don't lie but thanks for validating their behavior.

Answer 1

The members of your family are the worst example of Catholics I've ever heard. I'm not surprised why you left.

I'm a Catholic and I know how much it must've hurt for I know how it feels to be different from one's family. I deeply apologize for what you just went through.

However, not all Catholic families are like that. That's the little problem with these things. When people see that one member of a particular group is doing something bad, they think that all the members of the group are just as bad.

Please don't judge all Catholics for your family is the last thing a Catholic family should be.

Answer 2

Simply put, that's wrong. Using threats or to coerce a person to join a particular religion is appalling. I'm not sure what people like that are thinking to treat others, especially a family member, in that way... but it has to be linked to insecurity.

And to act that way at your dad's funeral? If that had been me, the funeral wouldn't be lasting much longer for them.

Of course they defend their behavior... people like that have the attitude that "Well, I'm Christian so I must be right in this... and you WILL do as I say"... It's pathetic really. I can't stand to see this type of thing done to people. I never had this problem myself... my mom is Christian and my dad is, well borderline Christian leaning more towards Deism... and not once did they ever try to tell me what religion to follow. I was always given the freedom to study whatever religion I wanted. My mom was buying me ritual tools by the time I was 14. I would have to ask them if they think acting that way towards anyone is going to show them the Love or the Good News they're supposed to be giving others... it sure doesn't seem like it to me.

Answer 3

All to familiar. My family (And have a big one) are very much the same, though they are Dutch Reformed Protestants rather than Catholics.

Look on this as an opportunity though. You've seen how empty one religion can be, so start reading up on the different ones out there - it's a great way to get perspective about people and some insight into how we tick. It also makes you appreciate the special things about what you believe that much more, because you'll often find those same sentiments echoed in the true cores of other faiths (Not the dogma, interpretation and politics the "faithful" added afterwards)

Answer 4

I was drawn to this question because one of my contacts, Riegan, starred it. I am a Christian. I would have to say that the way your family behaved is appalling. Granted, we ARE only getting your side of the story, but I have no reason to doubt the veracity of it.

My story starts out almost the same as yours. I became an atheist when I was thirteen, and pagan/Wiccan when I was sixteen. My family DID have a problem with it; they were and ARE Christian. However, they never condemned me, and my mom never tried to coerce me into believing by threatening me with hell, or by bullying me. They reacted exactly the way Christians are SUPPOSED to react: In love, and in prayer.

Nearly thirteen years after I became an atheist, and nearly TWENTY years after I became a skeptic (at the age of five), I finally researched my way back to God. Anyway, as I said, I don't support what your family has done. I think their reaction was terrible.

And I have no desire to crucify you. I just hope that even though you've chosen your path, you continue to research other paths. And I hope that whatever your final decision is, that it's the right one for you and brings you contentment and joy.

Answer 5

Well... all I can say is that you should be grateful that the secular humanist views that came to the fore during the 'Enlightenment' and the 'Age of Reason' have put limits on the bullying and blackmail. Prior to that, it might have taken the form of public humiliation and/or beating, stoning, torture, being burned at the stake or chucked into a vat of burning oil. There were decrees and laws that made what you have done punishable by torture and execution. They would torture you until you recanted and repented... and THEN execute you, so they could be sure that you went to judgement in a 'pure' state, before you had a chance to back-slide on your repentance.

Don't be too hard on them... bullying and blackmail are the LEAST of the coervice tools that have been available to devout christians.

Answer 6

I have no particular interest in crucifying you, and I doubt... well, I was going to say "I doubt anyone here does", but maybe I should just leave that off.

Faith cannot be forced, and I think any attempt to do so is directly contradictory to God's will. I think He gave us free will. He didn't do that so we could take it away from each other.

As for defending your relative's behaviour, I will make no attempt to - partly because the behaviour you describe admits to no defence and partly (forgive me) because we only have your side of the story. I would point out that Scripture says "for ALL have sinned". Christians aren't exempt from that.

Now for something that may get ME crucified: if you are truly pagan, and you follow those beliefs, then I hope they bring you peace. I think if you actively search your beliefs, they will eventually bring you to God, by whatever Name you use. In any event, I do wish you joy.

Answer 7

slow down my friend. just because your family is a little off kilter, doesn't mean every christian or catholic is. most of them don't want to crucify you. i'm pagan and have many non pagan friends who are supportive of my choices. i'm slightly confused though about your age. i would have thought you were only 16ish by your post, but you say you've been pagan for 10 years. if you're older than a teen, you are not coming across as having much worldly knowledge.

i'm not trying to come down on you, but you seem to be putting every christian/catholic in the same box, and one that most don't fit into. expose yourself to christians/catholics outside of your own family and i think you'll change your opinion of them. (although SOME are quite nasty to anyone who doesn't believe as they do)

Answer 8

There is no excuse for their behavior. I don't know what you are expecting to get from this question. I have never bullyed or blackmailed anyone to get my way. I do not beleive that Jesus would have anyone do that, He said to show you are to show you are a Christian by your love. So that is how I see it, I love all people I just don't like some of them. I am sorry that the catholic Church or your family turned you off from God. That they will answer for when they stand before Him and I do beleive they will stand before Him just as we all will I hope they are ready for it.

Answer 9

Who say i want to defend them, I don't. They are wrong, & their attitude is wrong, You can not make someone convert to anything, Salvation is being born again & not just saying I am a christian, Yes as you can see, I am not a Catholic person, But I am a Christian by being born again, Now you complain about how these people acted at the funeral. & how they talked about their vacation, as I said, they were wrong, But is it wrong to talk about their vacation & you sit there & listern to every word they say, where was your mind at, on the funeral, or on what they had to say.

Answer 10

I will not defend their behavior. As a Catholic myself, I find what you have described as more evangelical in spirit than Catholic.

On the other hand, I wonder if your decision to become a Pagan is not more in knee-jerk reaction to THEIR attitude and behavior than from any real faith on your part. Perhaps a deep, honest evaluation of your motives would be in order.

I will pray for all of you. That you may find peace in whatever faith you profess and that the rifts in your family be healed and that there be no rancor.