It's my Birthday, so here is a joke?

Question

A lion and a Virgin walk into a bar (called the Lion and the Virgin, but that is just a coincidence)
'It isn't very crowded in here tonight' said the Lion, 'Do you think this is the one where the nub of the joke is that it wouldn't be very crowded in a bar because a Lion walks in?'
Don't be ridiculous' said the Virgin, 'Lions can't talk, and why do I have to be naked just because I'm a Virgin? Whoever heard of a nude girl walking into a bar without causing a riot? Who was it who thought up the link between not having sex and having a bare wardrobe?'
Just at that moment a Mouse walked in.
I was walking on the other side of the road' he said, and being of unspecified gender and therefore taking on the role of a Male Mouse, I saw your Virgin and felt I just had to cross over and enter your pub' (actually he had to say it about five times before they heard)
Don't try to out-surreal a talking Lion' said the Lion, 'We know youre really meant to be a chicken'
'You think this is bad'

'As I was saying before I ran out of characters, in my last joke I was in an apartment so small I got round shoulders'
'I think hes lost it this time' said the Virgin ' just because malcolmgriggs birthday falls on the 24th he has to make up an obscure joke about Lions and Virgins. Have you read the gunk he comes out with? (in a silly voice)''you could have structures that are made up of glowing molecules strung together to form thin threads ninininini'' I ask you'
Theres not long to go' said the Lion 'it wouldn't surprise me if he was hit by one of those airborn Apathetic with philosophical justification'
Just at that moment.....oh I can't be bothered with this, what's the point of it all anyway? As Plato said, 'The beginning is the most important part of the work'

'Hey look,' said the Lion, 'you can add even more details, shall we continue under here?'
'Bite your tongue,' said the Virgin.
'Squeak squeak'

Answer 1

lol...you're crazy! in a good way! happy birthday!!!!!!!!! :)

Answer 2

It was my 40th birthday and I wasn't feeling too great when I woke up that morning. I went down to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say "Happy Birthday" and probably have a present for me. She didn't even say "Good Morning," let alone "Happy Birthday." I figured, "Well, that's wives for you. The children will remember." The children came down to breakfast and didn't say a word.

When I started to the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary Janet said, "Good Morning, Boss, Happy Birthday."

I felt a little better - at least someone had remembered. I worked until noon, then Janet knocked on my door and said, "You know, it is such a beautiful day outside and it's your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you and me." I said, "By George, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go.

We went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally go. We went out into the country to a little private place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously. On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it is such a beautiful day, we don't need to go back to the office, do we?" I said, "No, I guess not." She said, "Let's go to my apartment."

After arriving at her apartment, she smiled at me and said, "If you don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable."

Mad at my wife for forgetting about my birthday, not to mention that Janet was quite beautiful, I felt justified in staying. "Sure," I excitedly replied.

She went into the bedroom and, after a few minutes, she came out carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife, children and dozens of our friends. They were all singing Happy Birthday ... and there I sat on the couch ... naked.

Answer 3

No, its not bad if you've heard the following.............

"We respectfully request, entreat, and entreat, that due and adequate provisions be made this day and the date hereinafter subscribed, for the organizing of such methods and allocations and distribution as may be deemed necessary to properly assure the reception by and for said petitioner of such quantities of baked cereal products as shall, in the judgment of the aforementioned parishioners, constitute a sufficient supply thereof."

If you've not heard this from a lawyer standing in pulpit yet,
here is interpretation: "...give us this day our daily bread."

Answer 4

hahahahahahahahaha
I may have answered this 5 days after your birth day, but what the heck, Happy Birthday anyway

Answer 5

Funny! 10!

Answer 6

i like it, very funny hahaha many happy returns, have a good day.

Answer 7

happy b-day

Answer 8

its your birthday, so whatever tickles your fancy

Answer 9

Well , thanks , & Happy Birthday , but do curb your urge to tell jokes , won't you ?

Answer 10

squeak, squeak!....errrmmmm, I mean - haha! :]