teen desperado..help plez? if possible from a parent..?

Question

i am 15. just a normal girl living in a family of 5. my sis is 2 yrs older and goes to a boarding school. my bro is 8 yrs younger. my parents are both working. in my pre-teen years, im probably VERY attached to my parents. like most kids are. i get told off by them and i sulk. i express my feelings and make stupid jokes and they can talk to me and i would listen. but lately y'know especially this year, ive just been such a distant to them. im cold and i dont talk to them about anything anymore. i got straight A's in a test recently but i dont think its significant at all to tell them. its not tht i hate them or i dont talk to them at all, its just im at a stage whre i dont think i love them, love them. know what i mean? they r getting older and of course their jokes are getting dumber and so on, but literally, i dont know what i truly feel about my family l8ly. is this just a phase or do i really have negative feelings towards my family? honestly, i dunno if i will ever get over this.

Answer 1

It is a normal thing for a teenager your age to sort of break away. It is part of the growing up process, something like the baby bird leaving the nest. It is you time to begin to fly. You may fall down (make a few mistakes) along the way, but that is why you still have your family to fall back on. As you get older and more mature, you will begin to feel closer to your parents again.

Answer 2

Listen, I don't know if this will help, but let me try...
There are two important things that you need to know and understand.
1) Relationship (any relationship) between two is an ever changing affair. Many adults don't realise this, and that is a huge reason why so many marriages today end up in divorce. Your relationship with your parents has also evolved from a child-adult to young adult-adult. This means that what worked say 5 years ago between you, now may look just silly. You mentioned how your parents are getting older? So do you. You are no longer a little girl, and your relationship is now ready to evolve into a more equal partnership. This means you need to show a more mature outlook at life, which leads us to the next point.
2) You want a better relationship with your parents? Then make it happen! Lack of communication is an issue in many relationships. Parents know that teenagers can be sometimes guarded when it comes to sharing thoughts, feelings and ideas, and this makes many parents reluctant to push too hard to talk to their children. The best solution is also the simplest one: talk to your parents. Tell them exactly what you asked here, and you will be pleasantly surprised, I promise you.

If you do talk to them, they will certainly appreciate the level of maturity you have shown in the very fact you took the first step. They will also gain a rare insight into how you feel. And very importantly, they will get the opportunity to tell you how they feel. And that's how you will get your true answer.
Best wishes!

Answer 3

Those are your parents and whether you like it or not they will always love you and vice versa. Now that the biggest hurdle is dealt with, I agree with the other comments posted. You are going thru your growing phase and it's a jungle, you'll see things experience things that'll make you feel distant or even anger. Look, try to continue talking to your folks even if it's a simple how was your day at work type of convo. Don't close your communication with them you can always talk to your parents even if it doesn't seem that they're listening, they are. You're a teenager now so you're begining to grow into your own skin.
Besides, who's parents don't tell dumb jokes or has embarassed their kids on a weekly basis while going thru their teenage years. My mama did alot of crazy stuff and we were never able to talk to each other til I turned 25yrs, now I'm making up for lost time. Your family will always be there no matter what.

Answer 4

I don't think this is unusual. It is just a phase you're going thru, and not a permanent break from your family. If you can accept that, and you don't want it to get too bad, go a little out of your way to do some things together more. Of course, you would have to start things off. Think of something you like to do, and that they would probably not mind too much, and make a 'date' with them to do it. It doesn't have to be anything fancy, just some together time. When I grew up, we would play penny-ante poker together a couple of times a month. Just pennies, nickles and dimes, nothing serious. Maybe a board game, Monopoly, Scrabble, etc. There are lots of outings too...Dairy Queen (yum!) or a movie sometimes...maybe have dad orchestrate a night camping for the family. Try hard to stay pleasant and try to make everybody feel important and happy!

Answer 5

It is a very awkward age you are at right now and it will go away although it will seem like it never will to you keep in mind as you said your parents are getting older and some day they will not be here any more so try really hard to enjoy the time you have together now this time is also difficult for them so hang in there because when you get older and have kids of your own you and they will do it all again and then you will be able to hopefully help them through the same hard times you are going through now.

Answer 6

Dear "just_a_girl,"
It sure sounds like a phase to me. My kid did the same things, and now calls me constantly to tell me which way the wind is blowing. That's okay, too... I don't have to tell any more jokes!

Honestly, it's okay if you don't feel like talking to them for a while; even no matter how long, as long as you don't leave it till too late! You will someday discover you still love them; you may even remember the corny jokes with nostalgia, and call them with one of your own.

If your folks ask you what's up, tell them you're 15, that's what's up, and ask them to remember how they felt at that age. It probably won't be a fight; they may be super parents... but if it turns to a fight, tell them to please just let it go and then you go (maybe to your room)... though you must return! so tell them you'll be back when the anger is gone.

Tell them you just feel different about things, and that it will pass someday. Family love is hard to throw away in most cases. Keep it.

Answer 7

There are more questions than answers that I have for you. Have you had a recent argument with your parents? Do you feel valued by them, such as are you secure in their love for you. As you mature you begin to distance from your parents, that is somewhat normal. Your intrests are very different from theirs. You may feel that you have nothing in common with them. Find a common ground! Do not let this fester. Did your mother (at your age) like some of the same poetry as you do. Find out. How did your father's parents treat him about dating. Find Out. You have to find points to re-connect with them about. Do you and your family attend worship services together? If not, why? It takes effort but it is well worth it. Don't give up if you don't see results in a few days. You are investing in a lifetime.

Answer 8

there's a stage in one's life when kids become teenagers and there's a so-called generation gap between them and their parents. that's when the parents' way of thinking just doesn't jive with the kids' point of view. i think that's when my kids start to roll their eyes when my jokes are too corny for them and when my daughter thinks i'm too strict with her when she's not allowed to do what her friends are doing. it's actually a phase. i've gone through it myself. at that age, you're starting to go into the world, make discoveries and think that you're capable of making your own decisions. you'll learn... sometimes the easy way, sometimes the hard way. i've made a few good choices and some i'll always regret. regardless, your parents are always gonna love you no matter what. good luck and enjoy your youth. love your parents. talk to them as much as possible. you'll never realize how much you miss them until they're gone. good luck.

Answer 9

Its because you're growing up. Your starting to realize that they are only human, and not different from other people. What makes them special is that they are YOUR parents though. The thing is, when your about 20, you realize they have great advice on things (only somethings though!).

Essentially, you are becoming and adult, and you really do need to find out who you are. Try not to become too distant, they are your greatest support system, make an effort to be with them sometimes, don't drive them away.

Answer 10

Your just going through the testing teens. I have a 14 year old daughter and she goes through the sametheing. Sometime she loves us and sometimes she hates us. We give her lots of space and she knows she can come and chat with us if she likes. We have an open door policy when it comes to our kids. You will grow out of this, try not to worry or stress too much about it. You getting older and your just worried about life and everything that happens.