Is love a choice or an emotion?

Question

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The way I see it, there are a few things we define as "Love":
1. A chemical reaction in the brain based on attraction, which then gradually turns into a friendship based on mutual respect, shared history and parenthood, etc. That's "Romantic Love".
2. The instinctive drive to propagate the species, protect your offspring and give it the greatest chance of survival. That's the love of a parent.
3. "Brotherly love", which is really just our group-nature as a social species which recognises strength in number.
4. Then there is the choice to show and feel compassion by developing empathy for the situations of others, no matter their deeds, because you can have an inkling of what led them there.

Seems to me that, if we only do 1,2&3, we have no claim to place ourselves above animals. It's the CHOICE to feel compassion that defines "Humanity". Agree? Disagree?

Maria S: Okay, so loving your loved-ones unconditionally is a choice, but would you make that same choice and skip the exam to help a stranger?

Answer 1

I agree, it is a choice. I know so many who say "I love you" without actually thinking of what might be "required" of them after that sentence.
I control my emotions rather well and almost never let themg et the best of me - and the people I love I really, unconditionally love. There would never be a question about whether to do the important exam or to run to help them. I am always there for them , no matter what, and I don't judge them but I do criticise when asked to.
Seems a better thing to me than to run off and love people and then to not be there ...

I really tihnk it's a choice although, once you do give in to the "feeling" (the attraction) and the chemical reaction happens, you can't go back. You can decide whether you want to take the next step, but you can never go back.

Regarding strangers: I would skip an exam for strangers if I knew there was an important reason. Of course would I jump to help the person being run over by a truck, even if it meant skipping the exam.
However, with loved-ones I wouldn't need to know a reason before the exam. If they texted me with "I need you" I'd be there, without a question. I WOULD question strangers.

Answer 2

Love is an Emotions, not a choice. You do not have a choice who you will fall in love with. The choice you have is your actions and what are you going to do about it. Love is not a chemical in the brain, you first have feelings which then produces the feel good chemical. Not the other way around.

Answer 3

I don't think it is any of these. It's beyond biology, way beyond, though biology is affected by it, and way beyond will, though will can be employed. Love is light, an integrative power and force that exists in people with the aim of expanding itself. It's not physical, though it might be experienced/interpreted by some as such, but rather something that can be explained only indirectly through metaphor. Like moths are attracted to physical light, humans are attracted to that light/love/power/force in others.

The aim of this light/power/force/love is unity, to join, to unite with others and by doing so to expand itself, becoming an even larger, more powerful, more forceful, more attractive.

More succinctly, love IS life, and I don't mean this in any poetic or trivial, asinine way.

Answer 4

Love is an act of the will. We decide to love. Often strong emotion accompanies this act of the will to love, but, even if strong emotion is not present, we can still decide to love.

For example, love between man/woman almost always is characterized by strong physical attraction based on our individual biology. And this love is accompanied by emotions because we are emotional creatures. But at the core of the relationship are the two acts-of-the-wills that decide to love (each other).

However, God is pure spirit. We decide to love him (usually after our intellect and memory (the other two faculties of the soul) learn about Him. (We cannot love God without knowledge of Him).
We may feel emotional attachment on our parts, for example, when we pray, or delight in God's creation. Emotional feelings are not required to love God. But an act of our will is essential in order to love.

Answer 5

Actually, Love is one of the hardest things to understand no matter where you are. Yes it's an emotion, for you feel good when you love someone. I also think it's a choice, but it is also a difficult choice for it is not easy to stop loving something that you've grown attached to.

Answer 6

Love is first a choice. Also an emotion, but first a choice.

The cowboy poet writes,

A woman's love is like the morning dew.
It is as apt to fall upon a rose as it is a cow pie.

Truth is, however, that we choose whom we wish to love. Our parents, our siblings, our friends, and our lovers. To love, or not to love. That is the question.

Answer 7

I don't think love is cut and dry.
There are as many levels of love as the rainbow has colors.
Then there are the types of love.
Mix and match these and you will see how love is.
love can be great or it can hurt.
Love can make you give your life for someone or it can make you take a life.
Is love good or bad?

Answer 8

i always thought about it as a little of both. i have never really believed in love at first sight. if you look at someone and have feelings for them, i believe it's infatuation. so when you choose to date someone and get to know them and then fall in love, i believe that way is a choice that turned into an emotion.

when it comes to falling for your best friend, i look at that as emotion. you didn't choose to fall for your friend, but couldn't help it.

Answer 9

It's the CHOICE to feel compassion that defines "Humanity".

I agree.

Answer 10

Love IS an emotional choice... It all comes from the heart first.

Peace be with you.