My ex hubby MIA now wants to see me and my son?
My hubby and I were 2gether for 5 yrs..and was hooked on crack after his mom passed away...
I got pregnant, he was MIA, saw our son when he was 1 month, dissapeared, never supported me in any way, and got shipped off to another country by his parents..
Now 6 yrs has passed, he decides to call me and says "hey"..
I was shocked and p*ssed off, surprised and then I hung up...
What should I do now? Please advice..
My son has never seen his dad, but has a great family established already consisting of my mom, dad, 3 bros...
2007-08-23 19:57:06 · 11 answers · asked by contessa 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
tell him that since he had previously shown no interest in your lives, he has no place in it now. unless he sues for visitation rights or something, he really can't do anything about it. if he gets violent or starts 'stalking', get a restraining order to get the law involved.
2007-08-24 08:11:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with your gut instinct and also the best interest for your son. No matter what you do--you still win.
If you decide not to let him back in you and your son's life, then--no loss--you have a loving family already and he was never there.
If you decide to have him back in his life-- I would FIRST and Foremost, meet with him to find out where he is in his life. Before you even allow to let him back in your life and your sons life--Find out what his intentions are, see if YOU are ready to have him back in your life, see if he's in a better place in his life and can be a good father to your son, etc... Maybe even see if he is willing to back pay child support. Also, lay down the rules and make sure he doesn't go MIA with your son!!
Good luck!
2007-08-23 20:12:07 · answer #2 · answered by MAC 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he has cleaned up his acts and want to spend his days with HIS child (he shares the same DNA with him, right?), so you should probably think about it. In the end, we are all going to die anyway and by that time, it is going to be too late for anything. Teach your child that he can learn from both parents, whether good or bad things. Show your son, also, that your compassion is stronger than your contempt.
2007-08-23 22:45:46 · answer #3 · answered by joulsey 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should meet with him without your son and talk to him. Get a feel to see if he is really sober and what not. If you decide he can see his son, make sure you're the one who calls the shots. Meet in a public place and limit the time. See how your son reacts to him.
Ultimately it is your decision!
Good luck and best wishes
2007-08-24 04:15:07 · answer #4 · answered by beth v 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Same thing happened to me when my son was born.He left us then several years later wanted to come back & I told him no.I wish I would have took him back because my son deserved to get to know his father but it won't ever happen now because his father died a few years ago at a young age & my son only met him a few times.If he is off the drugs & has straightened up & you still care for him give him a chance.
2007-08-23 20:04:20 · answer #5 · answered by lunatic_no9 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give him the big A and go about your life as you have for the past 6 years
2007-08-23 20:01:49 · answer #6 · answered by rob_wils 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
provide him yet another possibility and help him with the habit I actual have pals who've seen long lost dads and it merely makes them happy on the commencing up they deny it yet in a while they're happy they have a father who has got here back in there existence
2016-10-09 03:53:14 · answer #7 · answered by kinart 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what you feel is right for your child. I sorta have the same situation...but I let my child's interest steer me in the right direction. If he is clean, let him have a relationship with his son. If he isn't clean, tell him to hit the road....
2007-08-23 20:02:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
He walked out not you, he can live with that, until he proves himself I think. How he'd prove himself I have no idea, but don't let him ruin what you have going, I'd say he walked out before, he'll do it again. And his previous actions just lets you know what was more important to him.
2007-08-23 20:02:58 · answer #9 · answered by shaubloom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well.. if he's cleaned up his act then i say let him see his son. i mean.. a dead beat dad.. whatever.. better late then never, right? if he's generally a good person then go for it.
2007-08-23 20:03:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋