What do I do when?

Question

my step sister (who is possibly my father's biological child) that is older than myself thinks I am a peice of trash for bad mouthing my father? My father is diagnosed with Hep C and will die without a transplant. He was a cocaine intravenous user and alcoholic and my childhood was pretty much ****** up by him. The other day I put something on my msn about being pissed off with him and my step sister started to go on about how she'd kill to have a father like him (her father pretty much kicked the crap out of her mother once when she was 6 and her mother left him for good - I think it's because he found out that my step sister was not his). I told her that if she wanted to listen to what I had to say about him, that I'd be more than willing to explain. She said no and told me that I shouldn't "broadcast" my father as a "monster". Needless to say the day after the "chat" she went to her mother and told her all about it. My sister who lives ...

with them over heard my step sister going on how she doesn't want me to show up at a birthday party for herself, her husband, two boys, nephew and mother and start something or she'll finish it. Just for the record my father has held a shotgun to my head partially loaded and told my mother he'd blow all our heads off and kill us. He's taken a knife up and down his chest in front of me, thrown furniture through windows, ripped out peices of the car, phoned all hours of the night at my grandmas which is an hour away, shown up at the house when I hid under the bed pretending I wasn't there, thrown my cat against a wall, punched me in the face, told me I wasn't his child on multiple occaisions ( I am his biological child) and on many other occaisions acted irate, irrational, illmannered and has been in and out of rehab and psych wards, has bipolar, schizo, as well as depression. Today he uses his sickness as a reason not to call or visit, when he still goes out shopping with his wife...

for antiques hours on end. My step mother is a proud, arrogant, sneaky, selfish, liar, "christian" hypocrite that has been with my father officially since the year 2000, but suspected as early as 1995 or 1996. A day after the divorce was finalized he married her. I can't help but feel as if my intellegence is insulted when I visit and it is VERY plain that they all think my dad the poor recipient of a "bad blood transfusion" when it's a **** and bull story. They think I am ungrateful, a liar, and pretty much garbage. When my father and grandparents were named on the invitation for my step brother's wedding as the parents/grandparents of him, yet his "step sisters" sat with second cousins no one knew. I feel like no one in that family knows the truth of my father, not that I'm willing to air the dirty laundry, but I'm sick of ppl like my step sister judging me and treating me like garbage.....

Apparently I'm not welcome at the party, nor am I ever welcomed at any other one. What can I do to move past this and forward? Sorry for all the details, but now I feel better :D

Answer 1

Rightfully so. Seems your dealing with some pretty crazy family dynamics there, I understand were your coming from althou I've had a great relationship with my father (sorry not bragin, but we have a habit of talking about our family relationships weather good or bad) But it would seem that the biggest point of your question was just to get it off your chest. GOOD! You are in the RIGHT, buddy, no doudting that, i've seen that type of dynaimces in step-families before. You symbolis a hidden truth buddy, that most of those people in that family most hold on to. Understand how things would change if they knew the truth about him, understand that with people that bow down to that type of personality are going to be under the complete control of that mentaility. And then in part because the step-sister is raised by that type of mentiality she well to bow down to her mother. Your the odd person out for no other reason then you see the truth. You best bet.... hmmmm two choices I leave up to you. Ether you fight it at every step which really means speck the truth from your heart and don't let it escalate into an all out fight, you see it become an immature fight of wells, leave the confrontation alone and come back later. Its not easy, but better then your other choice of just deal with it, until you can find something else better resembling a family... sort of a cope out, and its going to leave you in a state of depression. ITs just better to understand that whats going on in that family is an obession of pride and a loss of heart, its complicated and the details in alot of ways are yours to figure out, but finding the truth and using it against them, can breck anyone, and in the end, its what were met to do, if our parents can't... sorry to talk in riddles buddy, but in the end the best thing I can say is that society has it all wrong, and your problems are a symptom of that. If you do your research, open your mind, and look around you can find the truth, use its power, and save that family of yours, but again I leave it in your hands on what choice. Just don't go looking towards religion, nor society, time to expand that mind, and there isn't no real wrong way to do that as long as you let that heart and mind be your guide. good luck, and there so much more I can say to this, just not the best medium, you know?