We are planning on getting married but not right away. I will be living where ever he is going to be staioned, but I have been crying non-stop at the thought of not seeing him except for 3 months out the year; especially when I will be in a new place and not know anyone! Is that what it is really like? The more I think about it the more sad I get; is this normal??
2007-08-23 15:32:34 · 8 answers · asked by rocky112486 2 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
If he is assigned to a ship then half of every three months his ship will be away doing local operations and training it may only be two or three days out of the week or two weeks straight. that goes on for twelve months, then a six month deployment, its an eighteen month cycle.
There is also 'duty' most ships are in a six section duty cycle which means every six days he will not be allowed to leave the ship, he will be standing watches and serving as security and fire fighting for the ship.
On the days he does not have duty and his ship is in port, its like a regular job, he will be able to see you after working hours.
Hope this helps
2007-08-23 15:52:11 · answer #1 · answered by in pain 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Neither of you will have control of some things. Like boot camp and schooling schedules. That's why the Navy won't even move wives to a lot of the school sites.
At the first duty station, your boyfriend will still not have control of some things. Likely, as a new sailor he'll be rooming in the BEQ (Basic Enlisted Quarters) in a dorm type environment. You may not even be allowed up to see his room depending on the rules at that base. He'll have responsibility for keeping it up which will take some of his free time.
He'll also have work which will mean dealing with the ship's schedule. If the ship's out, he's with it and totally unavailable. If it's in he'll still have a work day and a duty schedule. Duty means they're on board for that work day, through the night and the next work day. It can happen as often as every other day or as few times as once a week. A lot depends on the boat and how many people do his job there. And there is usually a training period when you first get to a new command that can make for a longer and more intense work day for a few months.
But, after those responsibilities are taken care of he will have time to see you. Unless he totally messes up he should have off base access. It won't be a lot of time but some.
Is it normal to be sad and scared thinking about this? Yes. It's not an easy life or an easy way to maintain a relationship. Even as a wife, where DH comes home every night he can it's a lot of separation. What makes it easier is not letting yourself live in a place you don't know anyone for any longer than you have to. You get out there and meet your neighbors and the other wives and girlfriends off your husband's ship. If the command lets girlfriends into the Family Readiness Group (FRG), go and meet people there. Personally, I say live as close to base as you can get so that commute time is cut down. But I know other people who like having a longer drive as it gives them time to decompress after work.
If you can manage to look at the time you do have together as a special gift and not dwell on the time apart too much you may be able to make it as a Navy wife. If you can't you'll be miserable.
2007-08-24 02:57:28 · answer #2 · answered by Critter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you mean you are planning on pulling up stakes and moving wherever he is stationed after schooling? On your own dime, with NO help from the military at all? What happens if his first duty station is Japan? Can you be sure you will get a new job, not to mention leave family and friends behind?
Chances are, he will NOT be permitted to live off base, and since you are not married, you cannot live on base. He might get weekends with no curfew, but he will be standing duty, possibly as often as every three days.
Another thing: Not at all during Boot Camp in Great Lakes will he have any free time. During His A school, there are phases, and it can be a month or longer before he is permitted off base, and they CAN be rescinded at any time. A school can last as long as a year or more, depending on what rating he will be.
If he gets Sea duty, he could be gone a lot, or he could be never gone at all.
2007-08-24 02:28:43 · answer #3 · answered by Mrsjvb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While he is in bootcamp you will not be able to see him at all. I wouldn't even attempt to move until you find out where he's going to school (and for how long) or until he gets his first duty station. At school you won't see him much as you will not be able to get on base without an ID and most don't get off base liberty until they've been in school for awhile. Some don't get offbase liberty if their school is short.
Once he gets his permanent duty station will be the best time for you to discuss moving to where he's located. If he's lucky and gets shore duty you'll see him pretty much every day after work except on days he has duty. If he goes to a ship (which is most likely) you will see him whenever he is inport and does not have duty, but keep in mind that ships go out to sea for weeks at a time. Then they go on deployments which can be anywhere from 6-9 months. Just remember that they don't go on deployment every year.
yes, you'll be alone for months at a time every so often, but thats not always the case. Once you two get settled, get involved with the family support group for his ship and try to make friends with some of the other wives/girlfriends. That way when he does go out, you have others who are going through the same thing to help you out.
2007-08-23 17:14:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-13 07:26:11 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When he's on shore duty, you'll see him. It will be like he's working a regular job once he's finished with boot camp. The times you'll miss him will be when he's at sea for months, but hon...if you marry a military man...you just have to be strong when that happens.
2007-08-23 15:37:48 · answer #6 · answered by Lisa E 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yep.....that why we use to have huge phone bills from the wife calling home.........don't take this wrong now...........if you are the clingy type/high maintenance woman this may not work out for you......
hopefully you can meet up with the wifes of other sailors from his ship......they will be going thru the same things you will be
2007-08-23 15:42:05 · answer #7 · answered by lymanspond 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No. I am so sorry.
2007-08-23 15:36:02 · answer #8 · answered by jtester2007 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋