My good friend/co-worker is getting married next weekend. I know her family has spent a lot of money on the dinner, etc. It is going to be in Savannah. ( about 5 hours from where I live.) The hotel and gas is so expensive.(mainly the hotel) and I just maxed out my credit card on car repairs. I would hate to upset her, but if I really can not afford it and will have to max out another card, should I apologize and bow out? I feel like that would be so rude. (not to mention she has turned into a slight bridezilla) :)
2007-08-23 15:28:50 · 22 answers · asked by sarah h 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
It is nice to see that you actual care about the couple's feelings. There are a portion of guests who actual RSVP and then don't show or even call to say they aren't coming. It sounds like you mean well and while you really want to go, it just isn't financially possible. There is no reason to max out another credit card, even if that is what your friend wants. You should think about getting the couple a gift and giving it to them before the wedding. Then you can explain how you just afford to go but wish them all the best.
2007-08-24 03:53:04 · answer #1 · answered by VAWeddingSpecialist 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get a gift tonight or bring the one you already have and bring it too her tomorrow, letting her know that you are really sorry but you ran into an unexpected expense and just can't swing the drive and hotel right now. Bridezilla is going to be mad, but she will only be a bridezilla for another week.
Yeah, she did spend alot of money, but now she will have one more dinner extra for her to cover all those others that never RSVP'ed and will show up at the last minuite. She will eventually forgive when this is all over.
Good luck (and courage)!
2007-08-23 22:37:33 · answer #2 · answered by Jenni P 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just make sure if you decide not to come, you let her know as soon as possible, rather than just not showing up. Sometimes, the charges for the reception are done per person, and if she's expecting you, she'll get charged for your meal whether you are there or not. I agree that you should have said something sooner if you knew you couldn't afford it, as she might have to pay for your seat at this point anyway. At least if she knows you won't make it, she can have a seat available for an unexpected guest.
Is there anyone else you know attending that you could carpool with? Perhaps even another friend who is also attending whom you could room with and split hotel costs? That way you could still attend the wedding, but not go into more debt to be there.
2007-08-23 22:39:24 · answer #3 · answered by Jenn 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest. Tell her about your unexpected car expenses and say you're sorry but you cannot now really afford the expense of a hotel and gas to drive there, as you would be putting yourself into debt. It's a bummer but it can't be helped. But tell her asap, and give her a wedding gift before the wedding day.
As far as the expensive dinner is concerned, there is still time to alter the final numbers for the caterers as the wedding is still over a week away.
.
2007-08-24 07:14:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow--don't be so hard on yourself for missing a wedding 5 hours away! Just say that something came up with a family member and you have to bow out.
I am sure you would still be getting a gift, am I correct? That's all they want anyway! j/k...
If she is a friend, she will understand if something came up. If not--well, there are plenty of other friends and co-workers around.
If I am being to harsh, I apologize. It's just that you sound like a great friend to her but things do come up that are out of your control. Like car repairs, etc.
You COULD just be honest and tell her it's the car repairs.
2007-08-23 22:40:34 · answer #5 · answered by vegas_chick66 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Car repairs have a knack for happening when you least expect it.
Inform your friend as soon as possible that you can in no way financially be able to make it to the wedding even though you stated you would be able to make it.
IF she is a TRUE friend she will understand and not be mad at you. She should immediately inform her caterer that she will be less one or two guests.
DO NOT go into debt for anyone, or a bridezilla!
Give them a nice card, and explain due to financial issues you cannot yet give them a gift, but will send one later or on their first anniversary to make up for it! (IF you want to give them a gift that is. it is NOT required).
2007-08-24 12:25:15 · answer #6 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the answers run the gamut from just gutting it out and going, to just telling her right away and giving her a present. grrrrr.
this is what happens when people ambitiously plan weddings that compel people to have to create a whole vacation they must now pay for around attending them. i hate that! i am invited to a wedding that is two cities away next month. the brides family is personally arranging and paying for all who need transportation there. that !!!!! is how it should be when someone is not getting married in the town all their guests reside in. i am even of the strong opinion they owe their traveling guests dinner the night before, how about that.!
having ranted that, i would absolutely say you should go. why? cause you work with her every day. someone said carpool, maybe you can hotel pool, i would go. i would. you will have peace in your workplace and you can look her in the eye and that may be worth the cost of this. just go and make the best of it.
2007-08-24 00:12:28 · answer #7 · answered by jaded 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't go in debt because you don't want to back out. All brides are bridezillas (i work in a tuxedo rental store...BELIEVE ME) but if it's not something you can afford then you should back out. If she gets mad because you don't have the money then thats rediculous. She'll get over it.
Like if she wanted something expensive for her wedding then didn't have the money...she'd have to give in and spend less. Money is hard these days. There will be other weddings and people have to get by with all these money problems.
2007-08-23 23:27:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are maxing out credit cards over this, its not worth. Any way you can borrow money or carpool? Anway, just tell her there were expenses you werent counting on so you cant go. Dont worry- last minute changes with the caterer might be possible if you tell her right now.
2007-08-23 22:36:01 · answer #9 · answered by fizzy stuff 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could not foresee the circumstances of your car breaking down. She obviously is aware of your recent car repairs so let her know that you no longer have the money to attend. I would still give her a nice gift. A good friend would not want you to put yourself in financial strain.
Good luck!
2007-08-23 23:03:00 · answer #10 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋