HELP HELP HELP!!!!!!! plz....?

Question

I'll be 18 in a few months and i'm involved with a guy who is 24, we aren't boyfriend and girlfriend but we are extremely close friends who talk almost everyday. We really like each other and would like to take it to the next level but my parents don't like him because they believe that he has no potential and could do nothing but cause me trouble. I really like him but it feels like my parents are holding back me furthering my relationship with him. What should i do, should i go against my parents or should i just leave well enough alone.

AND


its not that he is "bad" for me, he encourages me to be respectful to my parents and get a good education so that i don't end up like him. its not like he is pushing drugs on me and making me cut school.

also he can have any girl he wants as well as i can have any guy that i want, and we've both been with people while we were friends, but we keep coming back to each other

and yes we have already had sex.....sex is not a big deal

i believe my parents are wrong about him. he may not have a six figure job like they would like but he is an amazing person, he's funny smart and everything i could want in a bf.

we both don't want me to get preg. and we've talked about the possibility so i got put on the pill, i don't want kids!

He really likes me and i think he's also experiencing a hard time because i am much younger than him. Its not easy when he is around his friends, because they look at him weird.

Answer 1

It appears the problem is not even the 6 years age difference but your parents attitude towards him.Your parents opposition may be based on valid reasons, so I will suggest that you 1)find out from them exactly what they don't like about him2)tell them about the good advice he gives you;don't mention the sex part though.3)tell them why he is the way he is if you know the story or reasons4)arrange a meeting between your parents and him.this way they can meet him face-to-face, ask him any question they want and be better able to check him out5)ask your parents to give you some time to date and to see what happens.it can be 6months to a year to see how things develop between you two.Be prepared to try again and again if your parents don't agree the first time.If the both of you truly love each other, it will show and your parents just might come around.Meanwhile, you can advise your boyfriend to do something about his shortcomings------get a job, go to school, get his own place etc.All of this might make your parents start to like him and respect him for trying to improve his life.Good luck.

Answer 2

I think right now, you may just be completely infatuated ~ maybe, maybe not ~ only time will tell (as well as for him). I know you're turning 18 and you'll technically be an adult, but a 6-7 year difference at your ages right now is a huge difference.

If he says he doesn't want you to end up like him, but he's not making any efforts to change those things about himself, then you should think twice before getting involved romantically. You feel like your parents are holding you back because in a way they are, and in a way, you probably know they're right. Your head knows they're right, but your heart and body don't want to think that.

By the way, you're right, sex is not a big deal ~ it's a HUGE deal!!! You slept with him but you just "really like him"?! You're selling yourself short! I think you should wait to take your relationship to the next level until you've BOTH matured a little bit more. I don't mean that as a put down ~ it's just a part of how life goes.

You're parents love you and want what's best for you, and they probably have a little more insight to this guy than you do right now. You should think about listening to them on this one, and give it more time ~

Answer 3

I think being almost 18 is a beautiful time. You are too young to throw yourself to somebody. This age is beautiful and you are discovering your body and emotions. Give time to the relationship. Just be friends. I would not recommend having sex. Whatch how it goes. People change their mind very often. Be patient. Listen to the good things. Get your education, respect your parents, mingle with more friends. You should not take it yet to the next level, be patient. Go to college. Once in college, you will think different, you will meet more people. And watch how he develops. He should too continue for an education. What he wishes to you, he also should work out for himself. If he does not, then he is only talking and not walking the talk. 17-18 is a dreaming age. Take care of yourself, there is more in life coming.

Answer 4

Listen to your parents. It sounds like they are right and from what you say he's a drop out druggie and will only bring you down with him. You are still a minor until you are 18 and having sex with a 24 year old guy is a very big deal. If your parents wanted they could file charges on him and not only that you could end up pregnant by a LOSER and you will find that you won't get any support or help from him. Very hard to go to school and take care of a baby!

Answer 5

At the end of the day itis really upto you who oyu choose to date,
I had the same problem with my ex and at he end of the day if you really like the guy and he really likes you what is the problem,
If he treats you good and makes you feel the way you have never felt before go for it.
My father tryed stop me for dating my ex but i went with what my heart told me we were together for 3 very long happy years at that stage i was 16 and he was 19, we just grew apart but we still remain friends to this day and it has been 3 years since we broke up i am enaged to be married to my current partner and we have been together for 3 years i am now 22 and my partner is 32.
Look at the end of the day it is what makes you happy and what is best for you, you cant always agree with your parnets.
Go for it honey and look if it does not work out well it is a learny experince is it.
and for all those people out there that think ages is a big deal it is not it is just a number my partner has 11 years on me we have been together for 3 years we own a seccuful business and our own home and are know trying to have a baby
Best of luck

Answer 6

Ewe, you're not 18 yet and he is 24? Sorry girl, your parents are right, stupid loser could be charged with sagitory rape, which he knows but doesn't care! That's why he's a loser. Sex not a big deal to you, but to a guy who can get it does, it's another notch in his buckle. If you think I'm being to harsh on him I'm not. He may be very immature as well. Loser guys are always encouraging for someone else to do the job! LOL

Answer 7

first,... SEX IS A BIG DEAL! You're not officially 18 so it's illegal!

And.... I think you should give the guy a chance since he doesn't seem like a bad guy. But.... i don't know. I usually side with my parents because they're the most important people in my life. I trust them more than ANYONE. including guys.

So... for me. I would just be friends with the guy.

But... for you? I think he seems okay. Just take things REALLY slowly. You two are obviously close since you guys already had sex. BUT DON'T let him take advantage of you.

You seem pretty smart, so..... I won't give you a lecture. lol

Answer 8

It sounds like you are the typical "Young and Dumb" teenage girl that older guys like to take advantage of for the sex. It sounds like you are dating him probably because he is a rebellious "Bad Boy" that can supposedly give you excitement and pleasure in many ways that a nicer and more responsible guy supposedly couldn't. Girls like you are the reason that MATURE 23 year old guys like me stop dating immature younger chicks like you. By the way, the sex is a big deal. You are not of legal age yet. Your parents could have your boyfriend arrested if they found out that he had sex with you. So if you don't wan't your boyfriend to spend at least 8 years in prison for having sex with a minor, then I suggest you do the right thing and wait until you of age to have any more sex.

Answer 9

Tell him ya so!! If he was turned off by it, he would have just ignored you and not teased you about it. Tell him, he'd be an idiot not to know you were crushing on him, and your just sorry it took you writing a note to figure it out. But you gotta say it with a smile and a little sexy attitude. Don't act weird or diffrent....Trust me, he teased you about it, it's ok. Now go ask him what he's gonna do about it, or, I prefer the bold method, and just give him a big ole kiss and get it over with...Good Luck

Answer 10

Well I can see your point of view and your parents point of view....I think. lol. Like he seems like an okay guy...but maybe your parents want more than okay...also the fact that he doesn't sound very successful (from what you were saying) could be another great concern for them (for the obvious reasons). Well maybe you could give it a shot...but sex is a big deal actually...especially cause your still only friends at this point in time.