this is a bit odd, but I think it's the best way out. I want to break up, but I don't want to hurt the other person. So after thinking I thought that the best way to end it is to have him break up with me. But i've tried everything from acting obnoxious to cold-indiffrence. But the more hint I give out that I want to end it, the tighter he holds on, It's like going out with an eight-legged octopus...any suggestions? thanx!
2007-08-23 14:53:19 · 36 answers · asked by ProfessorCuddles 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i'd really love to just say: we're over, let's break up. But er you see if I do that i might turn him into a stalker. He'll have people stalk me until he gets over it(that's what he did with his ex until we met, and i don't want to end up like her!)
2007-08-23 15:06:16 · update #1
Why are you trying such childish ways to break up? You will end up hurting him in the long run. How about being mature about it and just telling him. He deserves to be with someone who appreciates him. You have lost passion for him, so just tell him. He will be hurt anyways. there is no easy way to break up.
Just tell him ," I don't see myself with you and i think you deserve someone who loves you and cares about you."
2007-08-23 15:02:54 · answer #1 · answered by keera 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say you don't want to hurt this other person by breaking up yourself but I'm sure you being obnoxious and cold is hurting him even though he hasn't broke up with you.
No matter what tactics you are using to get him to break up with you, you are leading him on by not breaking up yourself and come on if you have a conscience and your hurtful behavior finally caused him to break up with you, wouldn't you feel bad that you were just not honest and strong enough to just do it yourself?
You do not have to say "we're over, let's break up."
Just talk to him and tell him you are sorry you just aren't feeling it and don't want to continue the relationship further and if he doesn't already know and asks why give him an explanation, just be honest and tell him. If he had his friends stalk his ex wife yes he could do the same with you but there are stalking laws and if he or his friends stalk you just let them know you will use every mean to put an end to it.
You must be strong, tough and firm, not timid and weak.
I think this is more about you not feeling guilty and responsible for ending the relationship than hurting him.
2007-08-23 15:07:54 · answer #2 · answered by maryv2013 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stand on your own two feet and tell him it is over. If he stalked his ex because he did not want to let her go...what makes you think you can do anything to make him end it? You are going to have to be the strong one here and end it. Someone always gets hurt when a relationship ends...you are getting hurt now by it not ending. End it yourself and get it over with. Also, they do have stalking laws....go get a restraining order against him and anyone else you need to and then use the restraining orders if you have to until he gets it through his head it is over and leaves you alone and has his friends do the same. What ever made you go out with someone like this ( a stalker) in the first place? Be prepared to cover your butt, stalkers can be dangerous... and be careful until he gets over it.
The only way out is for YOU to end it.
be cool...
2007-08-23 15:25:01 · answer #3 · answered by CC Babydoll 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it sounds like you might have a quailty stalker after its said and done. Anyways If cold indiference didn't work may Crazy Azz Bat Shiz might.. He might think your on drugs which is fine use that to help him choose to break up with you. By Crazy I mean start demanding werid stuff from him like make him go and buy you tampons, when he doesn't want to go get fricking blastic mad and in his face about how you have cramps and can barely walk and are bleeding from your vagina, and how he has two legs and a car, so he better go get it NOW.. then when he gets back tell him he got the wrong kinda that you can only use tampax, or something force him to go back. This will really junk his noggin, Why he is at the store this time call him and rattle of 5 realy obscure things he needs to pick up(if he brings them all home you should keep this guy as a slave, lock him in your basement and feed him daily, maybe show him some boob every few days, just so he doesn't forget who da master is) lets assume he doesn't get all 5, get mad as hell take what he did bring and then be like you can't do anything right even follow some simple instructions I don't even want to look at you right now get out of my face I need to be alone. Hopefully he will leave for awhile, when he comes back to see if you cooled down, start throwing gas in the crazy fire, be like I haven't been able to sleep because you forgot this, I had to go to the stroy then my mom told me she got herpes from my dad, and that I should get checked you don't have herpes do you? oh my god I am so freaking out right now. I just need to be alone ok? will you just let me be alone for a little while longer? He will call back. Invite him over to cuddle or something when he gets there make sure your place is mess make him clean it up before you give him any nookie if he won't clean it up, clean it up yourself then tell him your to tired. And that he should go home. If you keep hitting him with the crazy he will leave, or he will kill himself.
Thats just the risk you have to take.
Sonojudan
"I know I am crazy, it makes being sane a lot easier."
2007-08-23 15:15:01 · answer #4 · answered by thesonojudan 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Believe me he knows what you are up to which is why he is holding on more tightly.But the way you are also going about ending it is much more painful and hurtful.While I applaud you for your good heart and good intentions, I think the direct approach is better at this point.Just tell him that you no longer love him romantically and you are sorry for hurting him.No matter how hard he tries to make you change your mind, you just hang tough, and wish him the best. You may feel bad for a little while but you have no other choice.
2007-08-23 15:14:31 · answer #5 · answered by abbeycoolit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be frank with him. He obviously senses it anyway especially when he's holding on tighter and tighter. I had an ex like that and I stop talking to him on the phone he started calling like six to seven times a day the straw that broke the camels' back was that he called me on my job and then I decided that I had to call him and tell him that I was involved with someone else. Then he acted like he wasn't calling me to be with me but sometimes love hurts or relationships ill -gotten.
2007-08-23 15:05:10 · answer #6 · answered by justus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldnt inform her whatever like that! That is probably the most immature factor to do to a woman and that's so dull. Why on the earth might you do this?????? If you might do anything like that then your simply gonna make her believe " what did i see in him anyhow if he does not even admire me adequate to simply allow me cross." Shes commonly nonetheless particularly harm, and he or she's seeking to recover from you, so do not pull her again in. Dont ever make a lady believe dull. It hurts. I imply, you already broke up along with her anyhow, why might you desire to harm her much more??
2016-09-05 12:02:42 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You get some guts, grow up, and tell him that you do not want to be in a relationship with him!!
No details, no why's, no nothing. Just do not want to. It "does not work for you" to be in a relationship right now but he's a great guy and you wish him well. And no he will not want to be "just friends" so forget that route. The longer you lead him on the worse it will be for him.
2007-08-23 15:03:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want out of the relationship, then tell him so. Tell him that you're not happy with the way it's going and you'd rather not be with him. Tell him you don't want to see him anymore.......and then DON"T SEE HIM ANYMORE!!! Don't take his calls, don't answer his texts, don't you call or text him either. No waffling.... move on!! If you don't break off with him cmpletely, he will think that you don't mean it.... and he WILL stalk you.
2007-08-23 15:03:25 · answer #9 · answered by dathinman8 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No offence.. but thats hurting him more.. if he came up to you (and u loved him) and he said nicely that you shouldnt see each other anymore then you would be sad and slowly get over it.. if you went on a date.. and he was acting all wierd and ignoring you be really sad thinking you did something wrong.. and you wouldnt break up with him.. this was you are going to hurt him forever until you break up with him
2007-08-23 15:00:21 · answer #10 · answered by Steven B 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋