if you really love some one, why should age matter?

Question

Im dating a guy whos 20. Im only 15. We talked for two years and we both love eachother a lot. we dont think our age differences should matter.

Answer 1

First of all law. Your under 18 and he's over 18 so be careful.

Also you still are both going to go through some huge changes in your life. I totally believe that you deeply love this guy right now, but will you be able to love him like this in 2 years, in 5 years, or in 10 years? Between the ages of 19-22 all people go through huge changes in which their desires, likes, dislikes, ideologies, philosophies, beliefs, etc. could experience great changes. You do really love him now; that is undeniable, but will you really love him this much later down the road? Or will he love you as much as he does now later on? You both still have a lot of growing up and learning to do and life to live; but you have even more change coming than he does. Just be careful, guard yourself, and dont set yourself up for heartbreak. Don't get carried away. Don't get too attached. Don't get too passionate. Your only 15, and yes, you are totally capable of loving as deeply as anyone else on this planet, but what you might look for to love is going to change over the next few years- that is as undeniable as your love and passion. PLEASE be careful. Don't let this guy break your heart, and trust me, he may be deeply love you right now, but things happen, people change, and I don't want you to suffer what I, and millions of others who have given themselves away to someone have suffered. Just have fun for right now and try to learn from this relationship and grow, but don't get too serious. Again, your only 15 and have a lot of growing up to do. Just have fun during these years of your youth!


P.S. And do not, whatever he says, whatever he does, whatever you feel, whatever he feels, no matter how much you love each other, get in bed with him. I can guarantee you that if you have sex with him, or even if you dont have sex, but get extremely physical you will have your heart broken and will suffer extreme pain. If you two have sex out of marriage, you WILL break up at some time. You might even get married later, but if he had sex out of marriage before, how do you know he won't do it again when married? Getting physical at your young age seems to be the popular thing to do, and people say its ok, it is just fun and feels good, and anyways you love them, right? But they never tell you the extreme pain you feel when that person is gone and the memories you have to suffer with and carry the rest of your life and the questions you will be asking yourself for all the years of your life. Do not have extreme physical relations with him unless you are ready to break up with him, suffer horrible heart break, carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, and see your entire world fall apart.

Answer 2

Well, first off, in most parts of the civilized world, he could run into some very serious legal problems, everything from statutory rape, solicitation, contributing to the delinquency of a minor, etc. Also, being 15, you really do not understand just how much you will change and grow emotionally within the next 6 years of your life. A 20 year old man has no business around a 15 year old girl. You can't even have a driver's license or have a job... both of which are simple when compared to the level of commitment and maturity required to make a relationship work.

That is why age matters.

I'm not saying this to be mean, but you are still a child, and this 20 yo darn well knows it. Any 20yo who goes after a 15yo girl is either emotionally stunted, or a pederast or both. If you don't know what that means, that is another clue that you don't know what you're getting yourself into.

Why don't you talk to your folks about this? And if your folks are jerks, talk to a good friend's parents or a school counselor. Please don't just jump into a relationship with this guy.

Answer 3

H E L L O ... for those of you who think it's all right needs a reality check.

There is something known as statutory rape on most state's law books to protect children from adults.

You say you talked for two years and you both love each other. He is 20 and needs to find someone more in his age category ... namely another adult, not a child.

Yes I said the "C" word. By law you are still a child until you reach 18 years of age. You have your whole life ahead of you. Don't throw it away because you think you love someone who is older ... it's called infatuation, no love.

Keep your friendship as friends only. When you are 18 and if he's still interested in you then things will be different. For one you will be wiser and be able to understand what love not lust really is.

I know the other people gave you certain pro-answers because it's what you wanted to hear, but you should also confide in your parents and take counsel from them because believe it or not, they love you and don't want you getting hurt ... or pregnant at your age.

And I'm sure you don't want to go through an unwanted pregnancy. At 15 you need to concentrate on getting your education and graduating from high school.

Answer 4

If the two of you were 25 and 20 or even 23 and 18 your age differences wouldn't matter so much.
In many states your relationship is illegal. It may not matter to you but it is still illegal. To the best of my knowlege, Alabama is the only state in which a relationship between a 15 year old and a 20 year old is legal.

Answer 5

well, theres only one thing that should matter there. At age 20, one might be thinking about buying a house and finishing up collage. They might want to go out to party with their friends. They might want to think about getting married and starting a family.

You, at age 15, aren't thinking about that yet. You don't live on your own, your parents take care of the car payments, the house payments, etc. You have school to worry about.

You two are at two very different places in your like. Not to mention that its against the law for you to see each other romantically until you are 18. I'm not some 20 yr old talking down to you- I'm only 16.

In 10 yrs, the age difference won't matter.

And you say that you love him- if someone finds out about this, they could report him. God forbid that you get pregnant, he could go to jail for statutory rape and he would be a sex offender for the rest of his life. Even if you guys do lighter things- he could still get jail time! If you really love him, would you take that risk?

Answer 6

Age shouldn't matter. I would not reccomend thinking about getting married or anything for about 5 more years since you are only 15. Maybe try dating others just to be sure that you both know what you're doing. I've known a lot of couples who are up to 10 years apart and have been happily married for years. Age really should not matter.

Answer 7

i don't think age diffrence is a problem my partner is 32 and I'm 23 however i think when ur under the age of 18 i there are many worries that go with a young person dating someone older. If i had a daughter who dated a 20 year old i would be okay with it but there would be many boundaries in play

Answer 8

Ages matters to the law. When he gets out of jail, what's your life gonna be like when he has to register as a child abuser/offender?

This is EXACTLY why age matters, when a grown man can take over the mind of a 15 year old child. He needs to be behind bars and you need to have a serious talk with your parents.

Answer 9

Well, if you're considering marriage... I'd definitely try to persuade you to reconsider. Most people who get married at a young age such as yours end up getting divorced.

For your own well being, going to college and getting more life experience before you get married will make most marriages be a lot better. You'll be more understanding of things when you're able to think broadly.

Ah, and eventually the type of love that you have for each other right now fades away after a while. It never stays super romantic for long periods of time, if it does, then it's just an illusion and the truth will eventually surface. After a while, you'll get annoyed by each other and it's a firm commitment to each other that will help you set your ego aside and sacrifice yourself....

Answer 10

I don't think age difference is a big deal, either; however, at 15 you are asking for a lot of trouble, especially if you're in a relationship with a man in his 20's.

Wait until you are about 17 or 18.

Answer 11

u wont realize this now...we never do at 15....but ur still achild and he is a man, sad to say if he were a real man he wouldnt be praying on a 15 year old girl...age doesent matter in some cases but when an older person seeks a child under the age of adulthood theres something wrong...this is not ur fault u have not aquired all values or morals yet......what do ur parents say?.....it does matter...when u grow up and decide to have children...trust me youd be very upset and irate if someone that age had a relationship with ur child....its wrong.... and if hes sleeping with you its statutory rape