Why does he want to have a baby with me? When we first got together he told me that he was never gonna get married and i said the same thing and now he keeps askin me if we're gonna get married! I want to but not right now and he keeps tellin me that he wants to have my kids! But when we first got together he said he has 2 kids already and didnt want another one. I mean for school i have to take home a fake baby and he agreed to helping me watch it and he helped me pick out a name and everything. But why? Why would he tell me at first he doesnt want to get married or have kids but now hes tellin me he does?
2007-08-23 13:46:08 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you are still in school and have been taking home a fake baby you are too young to have a real baby and you wanting to wait is a very smart thing to do.
Some people stick with what they say they want and don't want and then others change their mind.
He is probably not really even thinking about the long run of getting married and having another child. He may say he wants to get married and have a baby with you because he is afraid if he doesn't get you pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen he may lose you. He may want another child because to him it will make him feel like a man. Who knows? But know matter what he is saying he wants, you have to stick with you want and what is best for you and your future.
If he has 2 kids already he probably is older than you but even if you were older and wanted marriage and kids you have to ask these questions. Does he see and is he regularly involved in his own 2 children's lives?
Does he pay child support?
Does he tend to their needs and nurture them?
Is he there for them not only physically but emotionally? Children are real, they are not fake and are a huge responsibility. Just because he agreed to help you watch a doll and pick out a name for it doesn't mean he is mature, responsible and would make a good father. Almost any guy can help make a baby but it takes a real man to be a father. Hold off and stick to what you want. You are still young and if he really loves you he will still be there when you are older and ready.
Oh and if and when you had a real baby would you want him or her to go by the name EyeCandy?
2007-08-23 14:07:36 · answer #1 · answered by maryv2013 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have to take home a fake baby in school, it sounds like you might be in high school. If you are, trust me, you are too young to be having babies. I had my first child after I had been married 3 years and was 28 years old. It's not easy Fact is, you said you don't want to be married and so did he. Please think about this very, very carefully before you do anything, because you can't take the baby back to the store if you are unsatisfied. It is your responsibility, through all night feedings, diaper changes, colic, sickness, temper tantrums, toilet training, ear infections, puberty, and in the case of my son, a back injury and in the case of my daughter, kidney surgery. If your child requires extensive medical care, you will be the one who will have to provide it. What if your child is born with Down's Syndrome, like my own brother was, or some other disability which makes parenting an even tougher job? How about if your child is autistic, or deaf, or blind, or is born with cerebral palsy? You have to be prepared for all possibilities if you are going to deliberately choose to have a baby.
If you choose to bring a life into this world, you are choosing to love that child unconditionally, no matter what (even if that child is a strong-willed child with behavior problems, as many are) and you are committing to caring for and meeting the needs of that child until he or she becomes an adult. If you are not yet an adult yourself, or if you have just become one, you are entitled to some youth first before taking on such a commitment. What are your plans for your life? Do they include being tied down at home for the next several years and not going out with friends, or having to get a babysitter any time you want to go do something where children shouldn't be? These are things to consider.
It's not just dressing up a baby and playing house. It's serious business. Being a parent is the most rewarding and fulfilling experience a person can have, but only if the person is prepared for parenthood. If a person is NOT prepared for parenthood, then there are plenty of statistics out there for abuse and neglect, which many parents never intended for their children, but gave their children just the same, because they felt overwhelmed by the task of being a parent.
Why did your boyfriend tell you he doesn't want to get married and have kids and now he does? You should ask him. We, the total strangers on this site can't tell you that. Only he can. I can tell you though, that if you are still in high school or close to that age, then you are likely not yet ready to become a parent. Enjoy life first, because much as having a child is a wonderful blessing and joy, your life will forever be changed once a child enters the picture, and those changes are not always easy.
2007-08-23 14:09:03 · answer #2 · answered by Chimichanga to go please!! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
EyeCandy, if you are still in school then you are to young to be thinking about marriage and having a baby. Live your life a while longer with out the complications of marriage and children. Go to school enjoy your life the way it is, get a good job and then consider marriage and children. Good Luck. Live Life to the Fullest and Enjoy Every Minute Of It.....
2007-08-23 14:10:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he has 2 kids.. does he take care of them.. money wise.. bc hanging around aint ****. the money has to be rolling in.. does he have a good job. to support you and this child that he wants.. you dont wanna be some welfare mama do you. make sure you know all the details on this guy.. does he pay child support and is he on time.. bc if he is not there for his 2 kids what makes you think he'll be around for this one.. bc its you... it seems like you guys spend a lot of time together.. if you watched a fake baby together... but what about his kids.. im sure he was good with a doll.. but how bout the real thing. and if your in school.. having a baby is the hardest... i did it. but i graduated hs and with honors im not another statistic. just make sure he doesnt burn you... thats all....
2007-08-23 13:57:25 · answer #4 · answered by honi_dew02 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if he wants a baby tell him to go get pregnant himself, and give birth himself and take care of it himself. Sure doesn't sound like he wants a FAMILY. ( He has two kids already? Where are their mommies? Because you will likely end up in the same place they are - alone, while he tells some other chick he wants to make a baby ) Run run run away... If not I hope you have your own method of birth control, I wouldn't trust that guys condoms...
2007-08-23 13:55:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Question:If your taking care of a fake baby while in school?..Means your young..And he has two kids..tell him to make another with the woman he has them by.Dont make a mistake like this unless your really ready..it could change your life...you could have the kid..and he may not even be around...good LUCK!
2007-08-23 13:59:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are still at school - don't let him force you into something you are not reasy for. Live a bit of life. He is obviously older as he already has kids. And he obviously isn't with the mother of his kids - so don't become another single mother just to appease someone. You will see life has a lot to offer - so don't be forced into something that will affect your life.
2007-08-23 13:54:25 · answer #7 · answered by Grumbles 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm thinking that you haven't had sex with this guy and that is what he is after. Guys will say things like marry me and I want to have a baby with you to get to home base. Ask him what happened to the other two children her had and is he taking responsibility for them.
2007-08-23 14:07:30 · answer #8 · answered by witchywoman29 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
people change and maybe at the time things were different in his head. i use to think i would never want a baby or get married but now i do. thats life, we change
2007-08-23 13:52:30 · answer #9 · answered by thunder217 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just do your best to explain to him that you aren't ready for that commitment because you have to focus on the studies because without studying how would you support the baby?? so just wait till you finish school and then bring up the topic again when you feel ready
2007-08-23 13:54:28 · answer #10 · answered by Sporty_Chick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋