I am a Army veteran and know how gays are viewed in the military. I do not want him hurt and do not want him to get into any trouble. He is OPENLY gay. I am worried for him. Does anyone have any opinions that could help me? I don't think he understands what "Don't ask, don't tell" means.
2007-08-23 13:24:32 · 47 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Military
It is the militaries policy to not ask and the persons in the military do not have to tell if they are in order to join or continue to serve. In short he can not be openly gay and be in the military. He how ever can still serve if he does not display his orientation in public, attempt to or have a same sex marriage, let any one in his chain of command or his friends he serves with know he is gay. I personally do not care if he is or not and know a few soldiers tat are gay, but do not openly say so. I have an NCO in my company that is known to be gay and he has even told me so. I could go and tell on him at ay time but I choose not to. He is a very hard worker and does not force his personal choice on any one. He has been in combat situations and performed as the rest of us do so who am I to judge what he is able to due to his orientation. With the policy as it is now all it takes is the perception of conduct and the commander can investigate and find that the person has homosexual intentions and they can be discharged. It is not determined by a general or any thing elaborate, just a company commander that has been in the Army for about three to four years and is an officer. Don’t get me wrong the investigation is very long and thorough and can not invade his privacy or ask him directly his sexual orientation. It even has to be investigated if the person comes out and tells the commander. So with all that said it is good the he wants to serve but he must hide his Gay pride and not be openly gay.
2007-08-24 09:18:16 · answer #1 · answered by SSGAllan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before I read all that I just wanna say, a recent article of Marine Corps Times reported that the percentages have gone down since the early 2000's but still I think it's 59% of the military in general think that gays should not be allowed. Basically, if a lot of your coworkers think you shouldn't be there, do YOU want to be? -EDIT- You seem to agree with me. Chelsea, separate but equal is not really equal. Or have we forgotten the entire civil rights movement? Having separate quarters is ridiculous. What are you going to do, give them each individually places to live? That's the only way to keep the gays from the gays too, which is the whole idea right? That's why we separate men and women, so they don't have even more crazy wild sex in the military? Well then that's just unfair. Why do some people have to have roommates or live in bays while you get your own room just cuz you're queer? Regardless. As a military issue, I wish it would be resolved within the military, but alas, that is not how things always work.
2016-05-21 02:59:06 · answer #2 · answered by lorelei 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't Ask Don't Tell only goes so far. While I personally do not have a problem with gay people, I believe that Gay people have a much tougher time in the military than do straight people.
If he is suspected of any homosexual activities an investigation can and most likely will be conducted. He could be subject to a court martial and dishonorable discharge at the very least. Homosexuality is strictly against the UCMJ (Uniform Code Of Military Justice).
I would suggest that if he does decide to join the military he be extremely careful about his sexual orientation. If he is not, and is found out, things could get VERY rough for him.
SHOman
2007-08-23 14:17:07 · answer #3 · answered by SHOman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortuntely, if he is openly gay they will most likely deny the enlistment. As you know, the policy is "don't ask, don't tell." If he declares his sexual orientation at any time during the process or once he is enlisted, it will be the end of his military career. For him to serve, he would be required to deny that part of himself, or at the very least keep it extremely quiet and not allow any part of his personal relationships to spill into his military life. I agree it is unfair, but that is how it is at the moment.
Ask him if he feels that serving his country is important enough to him to deny such a vital (and from what you say, proud and important) part of himself for several years. He will not be able to take part in gay pride celebrations, demonstrations or sign petitions supporting gay rights, be seen at military functions with signifigant others and, aside from the people he implicityly trusts, will not be able to discuss his private life at all for the risk of being "found out".
I have been friends with a few gays in the military. Most left after thier first enlistment. They simply could not live and work in an enviroment that required them to utterly deny who they were. The one friend who did stay in for longer was eventually forced out when someone he worked with happened to see him on a date and reported it. Before that he had been a highly decorated air man, cautious and dedicated to the Air Force. He was summarily discharged and lost all the benefits he should have had.
Be direct with your son. Show him the UCMJ regulations. Google articles about gays in the military. Present him with all the information you can, state your worries and concerns and then let him choose. It is all any parent can do.
2007-08-23 14:15:06 · answer #4 · answered by Annie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just give him the facts concerning the don't ask, don't tell policy. He is an adult and can make his own decisions and mistakes. You would be surprised how many people are openly serving in the military. Many commanders at this point really don't care as long as the soldier is discreet. They look at it as having another desperately needed soldier in the unit. Let him know that when and if he joins to ensure that he keeps his orientation off of places like myspace. It's too easy for people to find and report that. He will likely be living in the barracks, at least at the beginning and will likely have a roommate, so he'll have to be careful. I would recommend that he not enter the military, but if he is set on going, ensure he knows the facts!
2007-08-23 13:46:29 · answer #5 · answered by mark_c_sterling 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will tell you that he may be fine in todays military just like todays society we have gays. We had a gay guy in our division he was cool and a shipmate. This is today unlike the past where their were so many homophobia around. I will tell you that he wont be the only gay one there. The only way your son is going to get in trouble is if he say he is gay but most likely no one will ask him if he is or not. I have seen so many guys that were questionable but I never asked and I did not even give ****. All I care about is that they are serving there country and proud to be part of the military. The few and brave men and women of the military
2007-08-23 13:32:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
As a former enlisted man I can honestly tell you, NOBODY in the military cares if he is gay or not. Everyone should get the opportunity to serve ones country and sexual orientation should not, does not, and never should, be a factor. Gays were in there before I joined and during and after and yes the ARMY still works. I don't believe in gay rights, I don't agree with most gays on anything, in fact how one man could be "attracted" by another man is something I will never understand. But anyone brave enough to volunteer and serve our country for my freedom and rights will always get my respect no matter male, female, or sexual orientation.
"One of the original Communicating Dogs" SpecPena
2007-08-23 13:57:18 · answer #7 · answered by sam 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I was promoted to civilian last year, and having been a submariner, we bore the brunt of many gay jokes. However, if it became known that one of the crew was actually gay, he was pretty much ostracized. Todays politically correct military doesn't allow "calibration", as we called it. It still happens, but not as frequently as it used to. Unfortunately, the political correctness took away what little fun was left. Your son will have few, if any friends, and I'm sure you know exactly how important it is to have people you can count on in any branch of the military. I still keep in touch with a bunch of the guys on myspace.
2007-08-23 13:39:49 · answer #8 · answered by spartacus_nuc 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He will really get hurt. Being gay in the military is frowned upon, especially since some men in the navy were accused of being gay. Many people on board will not like it, and if he "openly" tells the recruiter, he will NOT get accepted.
2007-08-23 13:39:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's important for him to understand what "don't ask, don't tell" means. It's the rule the military put into play. They won't ask. He shouldn't tell. So - that means he is not to discuss his sexual orientation with people in the military.
What in the world are his reasons for wanting to join? Does he want to go and fight the war? Is he hoping to get an education out of it? What? He needs to weigh that up against what he will go through if he joins. Is it worth it.
Times probably have changed a bit since you were in the service - but I have to agree with you. His homosexuality will not be accepted by most of the military folk.
It's not "wrong" - but if he doesn't understand what "don't ask/don't tell means - then it could be a mistake.
2007-08-23 13:32:33 · answer #10 · answered by liddabet 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋