we broke up about 3 months ago after 6 months relationship... Reasons: 1.He stayed with his ex gf for 4 years before saying to her it was over and felt bad they both wasted time on that relationship, so he thought it was going to be the same thing with me. 2. He started telling me he loved me as a friend and he needed to feel butterflies or feel the need to do special things for me etc n didnt want me to waste my time. 3. He was a selfish b... for not letting me go to look for my own happiness cause he was sure i wouldnt be happy with him. After that we kept in touch but i realised i still have feelings for him and wouldnt be able to move on if he was still around so i stopped sms or talking to him for 1 1/2 months now. Anyways he hasnt stopped sending me sms, emails or calling asking me why i keep on doing this instead of being friends despite the fact he knows the reason. He tells me he misses me as friend and wants to talk to me, hang out with me, etc.
2007-08-23 13:22:42 · 7 answers · asked by Cougar 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
but I just cant. it would hurt me more if I know he is seeing someone while I am still around so I rather him to move on without me in the picture! I know that what I am doing is for my own good but my friends tell me I should talk to him and be his friend, etc it just make me feel I am the bad one for not being a good friend, how could I be if I don't see him as a friend just yet!!! I am confused i know he needs me as friend but deep down i also know if i keep him around i will still be thinking we might have a chance to go back together. Plus he wasnt a good friend to me so why should I feel guilty for not being his friend.
If i ask him what do u want from me i know his answer will be, be friends :(
P.S. I am moving on regardless this situation which is a woo hoo for me :)
2007-08-23 13:27:37 · update #1
What he wants to do should not matter to you anymore now that you are no longer together. You take charge of the situation now. He wants to hang on to you a little longer until he has found someone new. You don't have to go along. Delete his number from your mobile. Don't reply to his emails. Stop letting him have his way with you. Good luck.
2007-08-23 13:31:39 · answer #1 · answered by Nora C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not jump into a new relationship on the rebound cause you"ll simply end up hurting someone the way you're hurting now. People say I use volunteer work as a cure all for everything, and I do say it a lot, but thats because it really works. When you are helping someone less fortunate than yourself, you begin to gain insite on what this life is all about. Have you ever thought about going to a hospitai and reading to a sick child? Did you know their are premature lnfants on wards that have noone to hold them other than nurses? I know because when my grand sons were born their were seversl infants that never got visitors. Did you know there are some aids patients that are abandoned by their families and never recieve visitors? If that is too hard for you, did you know that many classrooms are over crowded and don't have a teachers aide and would love for someone to come and read them a story? ( I know cause I didthat and it was great fun) Did you know that time will heal you and the pain will fade and you will be happy again, but in the meantime if you start to give of your time in a productive manner, that time will come about much faster, and you will be more open to whatever will be coming in your future, including a wonderful new lasting strong loving relationship. Good luck and I hope you give yourself a chance to heal and help others in the process!!
2016-04-01 11:46:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me say this REAL clearly:
You DO NOT have to "be friends" with your ex. I don't know WHO thought that up, but, sometimes I'd just love to jerk a knot in his/her head.
To me, (like you said) when people break up...that's what "break up" means...APART...SEPARATE!!!! Even after 8 years of blissful divorce, I still see no reason to "be friends" with my ex, and I daresay he sees no reason to be MY "friend" either (and, BOY! do I thank GOD for that!!!).
You tell that idiot to leave you alone or you will jerk a knot on his head so big, people will think he's a two-headed monster.
2007-08-23 13:33:55 · answer #3 · answered by bitadkins 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cause like most men.. they dont wanna be with you.. but they dont want anyone else to be with you. my ex of 4 yrs as well. he thinks he's doing the same thing.. im his friend now.. but i moved on.. to his bestfriend.. haha. just move on.. you can always make new friends right??
2007-08-23 13:31:29 · answer #4 · answered by honi_dew02 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him you are not his ex girlfriend. that you know things could work out but you never know if you don't give them time. the fact a relationship can be a waste is crap. sure, you can be friends after, but not after giving it everything you got.
2007-08-23 13:30:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Change your number. Enjoy your new life.
No need to stay friends.
2007-08-30 04:04:55 · answer #6 · answered by hugskisses4707 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just move on you are right but i would take and dis lodge all my stuff so he couldn't get ahold of me. then start fresh and new.
2007-08-30 14:55:55 · answer #7 · answered by Tsunami 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because he wants to feel loved, he need your attention, he does not want to let you go.
2007-08-23 13:27:11 · answer #8 · answered by ♥ Mandy Marie ♥ 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋