Two bar jokes - put in yours too!?

Question

A rope walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a drink. Bartender says, "No."

Rope says, "Why not?"

Bartender says, "Because you're a rope!"

So the rope goes out and tells the first person he sees, "Tie me and rip me up a bit." The mans shrugs and does as he asks.

Rope walks in sits, down, and orders a drink. Bartender refuses. Rope says, "Why not?"

Bartender says, "Because you're a rope!"

Rope says, "I'm a frayed knot."

~*~

A man walks into a bar with a dog and says, "If my dog can talk, give me a free beer." Bartender says, "Ok." because dogs don't talk.

Dog walks to the bar and the bartender says, "How was your day?"

Dog says, "Ruff!"

Bartender shakes his head and trys again, "Who's the best baseball player in the world?"

Dog says, "Ruth!"

Bartender shakes his head again and, since the dog obviously can't talk, kicks the dog and man into the street. The dog turns back and says, "DiMaggio maybe?"

To Howie:
basically, when the dog talked it was words yet dog sounds but then it turned out he COULD talk... because Ruth and DiMaggio are baseball players... and his day was rough... get it? It's better spoken...

Answer 1

wow...cool...

Answer 2

Made ME laugh 10/10 on the giggleometer And a star

Answer 3

The first one was a bad punn

Answer 4

Good ones! Funny!

Answer 5

That was not funny. Anyways, any joke is better than no joke I guess. Good try though :(

Answer 6

nice.. heard the second b4 tho

Answer 7

i prefer the second one ha

Answer 8

i dont get it? i get the first one not the second one.

Answer 9

lol that was hilarious dont have any on me sorry