What do I do at college when all of my friends want to get drunk?

Question

I'm a junior in college, going to school away from home. My best friend here is my boyfriend of 1.5 years. We don't have any friends besides each other and no mutual friends. So if I'm not with him I'm sitting in my room on the weekends. I have some acquaintances and friends, but they all like to go out and party. I don't think it would be fair to my boyfriend to go out and get drunk with my friends, but my boyfriend works weekend nights. I really don't have a desire to go out and party either, but that's all my friends here seem to want to do. I know I should try and make "other friends," but it's hard. It's easy to get to know someone as an acquaintance, but to call them up and be like, "let's hang out" takes time. I'm invovled in clubs and I work, but what would you recommend doing while my boyfriend is at work? I feel like I'm being a loser and boring at college and anti-social. I'm grateful I have such an amazing boyfriend, but any suggestions?

And there are alot of people I know from classes and stuff, but like I said, it's surface relationship, not like a good friend that I would hang out with.

And I do study hard, but right now is "welcome week" so classes haven't started yet.

Answer 1

You shouldn't be expected to only hang out with your boyfriend and your best friend. I suggest going out with them the next time they go out drinking, and offer to be the designated driver. It's important to have one anyway, and that way it will give you an opportunity to get out and do something. If you decide that it's not fun, you're not obligated to do it again. You said you don't think it's fair to your boyfriend that you go out and get drunk with your friends. You don't have to get drunk, but why would it not be fair to him that you hang out with your friends without him? Don't limit yourself by making him your anchor. This is the time in your life where you should spread your wings and discover the world around you, not sit and wait for your boyfriend to get off of work. You'll be surprised at what you discover about yourself as far as your likes and dislikes. You'll notice you'll have a much more fulfilling life when you try new things.

Answer 2

Good for you! You do not have to go to drinking parties, sooo many other things to do! Work on your grade point average, go to the library, read a book, have a hobby [I make jewelry, a simple design for earrings and a necklace takes about an hour, and I then have something that matches my outfit].
Do you partying at a coffee house, meet friends there. Join a club, make friends, suggest everyone go to the pizza parlor after the meeting and split a pizza.
Find a girlfriend, and go window shopping, pick up lunch wherever you like. Likewise, find a movie, and take a friend with you, dutch treat. If you have a VCR in your room, rent a movie, pop some corn, and have a couple friends over. If you live in the dorm, surely someone is as bored as you, pick someone who looks interesting, or bored.

Answer 3

I went to college for 4 years and NEVER went out just to get drunk. Wasn't into that whole scene. You are definitely not a loser!!!!!

I was exactly like you, minus the boyfriend. What I did when my friends wanted to drink was I found hobbies and interests that interested me (like playing the piano or reading) and I just kind of stuck to that.

BE TRUE TO YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!! It is nice to know there are still people out there like you. If I had gone to college with you, we could have hung out. Find people who aren't into the bar scene and make a board game night or something. That's always fun :) I know that's hard when you're a little shy and not great at meeting people. Because I was SOOO shy, I just kind of stuck to myself. But you know what, being by yourself isn't such a bad thing. It helps you really figure out who you are.

One of the things I also got into when I felt alone and "loser-ish" was I would write. I would write stories, create my own episodes to my favorite TV shows, write poems, write in my journal. Find some form of expression that makes you feel good. Keep your head held high. You only have one more year to go!!!

Answer 4

You should definitely make other friends. You don't have to go out on weekends with the drunk people. Instead, study on weekends and you can do other activities during the week, like participate in school clubs and so forth. At my university there are often also concerts, dances, and other fun non-drinking activities that you can go to.

Answer 5

Been there done that. I am the boyfriend and you are my girlfriend- but I had a social life before my girlfriend and I started dating as did she. She likes to go out with her friends and she doesn't really drink. When I am not there, I have problem with her going out and having fun. I trust her, so there is no issue there. A good thing to try is to go to a party together- and the both of you can choose not to drink. If someone offers you something you don't have to take it. I was a bit of animal myself- but I liked people who came to parties who didnt drink who could have a good time. You have to realize that drunk people like to have fun and want to be loud and obnoxious for its the nature of the business. SO go and have fun too- if you want to drink- go for it- if not don't but feel free to be yourself around drunk people- people respect honesty and when people act real. especially in college. and I imagine that there are people there who are in your situation too- the trick is finding them ask around what people are doing this weekend and see what they say- you can use that line like hi, how you doin kinda thing- works and its reasonable conversational piece in college


see where i am going with this? Ive been there youll be fine and when you are done with college youll look back and nothing matters what you did

Answer 6

DRINK girlie DRINK !.... It's part of the social college regimen to party ! It's a dang good way to make friends too girl ! That is a lg. part of how you expand your mind in attending college. Ya don't have to be there & hang EVERY time ; just be certain to include partying as part of your college experience. This is an era of your life you cannot repeat girl ! It will only be in hindsight. Live it up !

Answer 7

How about find yourself a part time job during a weekend when your boyfriend is working? Save some money and you may find a new friend, too. It is not necessary to go to party, if you don't like.

Answer 8

I go out with my friends that drink all the time but I don't. Most people think its great to have a designated driver handy anyways. You can have just as much fun as everyone else without drinking. Besides when your not drunk you can laugh at everyone who is and remind them what they did later.

Answer 9

Try organizing a study group over the weekend. Get a good group of people together, order pizza and go over eachother's notes. Maybe they have some good ones you don't and vice versa.

Answer 10

I suggest you sit back and feel pretty damned good about yourself for having the strength to be who you are, and for making the choice to preserve your brain instead of slowly destroying it with alcohol. If you have to be alone, you're a pretty good person to be alone with.