I just don't want to go for various reasons. its in two days and I would like some suggestions at to how I can tell her that I simply don't want to go.
2007-08-23 10:33:07 · 68 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Politely say, "Sorry, I'm busy, maybe next time." If it was a birthday adn she's your friend a belated present might be helpful.
2007-08-23 10:37:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure that it is impossible for you to attend her party?
I hate parties and I never go, but there are some parties I go to for the sake of friendship i.e. weddings, bar/bat mitzvahs. Because these are special occasions and I don't think my friends would be able to forgive my not coming, unless I was really sick, which did happen on one occasion.
I don't think you can just say you don't want to go - that would probably hurt your friend. You must have a good reason for not going - such as an event/party that you accepted the invitation to before you knew about her party, something urgent with your family, or you are sick - in other words, something extremely important and unavoidable - not just you do not feel like going. Otherwise, your friend will think you don't value your friendship with her and will feel hurt by your refusal to attend her party.
2007-08-29 03:55:11 · answer #2 · answered by happy inside 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd tell her the truth. If you're really close, you have enough confidence to tell her what your real reasons for not wanting to go are. If not or you think she will be hurt, then you'll have to lie. I once did that with a not-close friend, I really didn't feel like sharing with her and her friends (and then they were gonna party at a stripper's club..!!) ..... so I told her that my mom had forgot to tell me we were invited for dinner at a family friend's house and I couldn't get out of it..... so I was sorry but I couldn't attend her party, that was it. With my close friends, I do tell the truth: I'm not in the mood, I don't like your friend(s) X or Y, it's too far away from my home / out of town and I'm lazy to drive, etc.................... honesty is the best.
2007-08-23 10:57:46 · answer #3 · answered by Lprod 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you already told her you would go? If so, and she's counting on you to attend...then you have to weigh letting your friend down vs. doing something you "simply don't want to do". If you haven't already committed to going then, depending on the real reasons for not wanting to attend, either tell her why you're not coming or just tell her you're not coming and leave it at that.
2007-08-23 10:44:35 · answer #4 · answered by athom8779 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"I am unable to attend"
of course that is different than
"I do not want to attend"
If you must indicate that you do not have a want to attend, which is the same as to indicate that you have a want not to attend, then that is difficult. If you state "I am unable to attend", you do not have to have a reason, and the reason could be you do not want to attend. But if you must indicate that you do not want to attend, then you have defeated your own purpose, to conceal the reason.
Indicate you are unable, then if asked just smile and nod, then if asked again say I would rather not discuss it. If they (he she) pursues you can always ask "what do you want?" returning to "I am unable to attend". Besides you don't have time anyway, keep in mind through all of the dialogue that you don't have time, but in this particular case don't discuss that you don't have time. That way for further defense you could always say "I don't think you understand." (In many other cases, like if someone is trying to sell something to you, "I don't have time" is very effective.)
2007-08-23 10:59:07 · answer #5 · answered by David L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have faced this type of situation on several occasions. For years I made up excuses and essentially "lied". One day I came to the decision that being dishonest about my reason(s) for being a no-show, unavailable, or MIA was unethical. That day I told a friend the truth for not showing up at a certain event. She told me she lost all respect for me and hung up the phone. We did not speak for 6 months despite the fact we have known each other and been close friends for 11 years. If you are curious about my reason for not attending: Like I said, I told her the truth: I let her know I was uncomfortable with the situation. That is all I said and she was furious. So, it is from this situation that "fibbing" or telling a white lie may be the best option. For example, another event came up that you cannot get out of, you are ill, you have an appointment, and so on. But remember it also depends on what type of person your friend is. Maybe they will respect the fact that you are honest if you tell them the real reasons for not attending OR they may be like mine and get upset with you. You know your friend and you know your conscious. Decide if you want to lie or tell the truth.
2007-08-23 10:49:59 · answer #6 · answered by shortdaylongnight 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just tell her the truth. You don't have to give a reason It will show you have a lot of respect for her. Thank you for inviting me but I can't attended. If she pushes it just say I"m really not up to partying this weekend.
2007-08-23 10:43:23 · answer #7 · answered by gizmoe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to feel obligated to attend parties I didn't want to , sometimes I would end up having more fun than anyone, and other times I would be just miserable and leave early I have dreaded parties so much I would make myself sick . Now I look at this way NOBODY can force me to do any thing I don't wont, and I wont lie and give them any excuse.I Just say thank you for the invite and maybe say what time
2007-08-23 10:54:33 · answer #8 · answered by Jan 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY IN THIS CASE!! if she is truly your friend she would respect that from you, why tell and lie and it will come back and hurt the friendship later, lies hurt friendship just be straight forward and say i appreciate the invitation but i rather not attend and rather explain why and if you was truly my Friend u would respect my decision..
2007-08-23 10:45:11 · answer #9 · answered by ladye221 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make up a white lie. It saves a lot of hurt feelings and I dont think its wrong to say, ' Well my aunt I havent seen is coming to town only for dinner'. Or some such thing you know they would believe. Its good to keep a little distance so that people dont know you too well enough to say ' Oh you dont have an aunt' Always keep some open excuses.
2007-08-23 10:38:35 · answer #10 · answered by barthebear 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just tell her you have some family thing going on and you can't make it. Why wouldn't you want to go to a party though? I'll go instead.
2007-08-23 10:38:33 · answer #11 · answered by roth299 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋