Is an expensive attendant gift acceptable?

Question

I want to give my maids these earrings as their gifts. http://www.helzberg.com/hdsim/jsp/catalog.do?product_id=1625094&channelId=-8806&programId=9314. My husband to be and I both agree that they are perfect and can be worn for years. My mother in law to be says it is insulting to buy another woman diamonds. These are friends that I have had forever, and there are only two bridesmaids. If I had 5 of them, I would spend just as much on much less. I just feel that if it is in the budget then why not buy them a nice gift? What do you think?

Sorry the link does not seem to work. They are drop oval diamond earrings with a lever back. $300 at a local jewelry store.

Answer 1

No. I think it is perfectly fine as long as you budgeted for it.

These are your friends and they happen to be your bridesmaids for your wedding. It is customary you give them something and it so happens you feel they deserve something more special because of your friendship that has lasted life's challenges.

I'd rather get a diamond as the gift, rather than something that I may never use again.

If your mother-in-law asks and insists that the gifts are insulting. Tell her that because these are your long-time friends and that they have graciously accepted the burden/challenge of being your bridesmaids, you felt it was only fair that you show them your appreciation. Tell her that though it may seem tacky to some, you know they will appreciate it since it will be a symbol of your friendship with them.

Now, to make it more cuter, you should get a pair yourself, maybe at a later time. (Also, since you are getting two pairs or maybe three, ask the manager for a discount, without the customary opening of a store credit card).

Good luck.

Answer 2

Did you buy their bridesmaid dresses or expect them to pay for them out of their own pocket, along with all of the other types of activities that bridesmaids are involved in?

While it really is a lovely and beautiful gift, I might be a bit miffed if I had to fork out $300 for a bridesmaid dress, when this is an item the bride could have easily paid for herself (certainly if she can afford $300 earrings).

It certainly is not tacky or insulting, but I would question what you've asked financially of your bridesmaids and then decide if $300 earrings is a good trade off for what they've invested on their own.

Answer 3

I think expensive gifts are fine. I doubt the bridesmaids would complain...just make sure you spend equal amounts on the groomen as well.

If you want to follow tradition you should pick out a gemstone though, perhaps something very pale like aquamarine which looks similar to diamonds but without breaking tradition.

I've heard it said it's only proper for a woman to recieve diamonds from their fathers, inheritance, and very serious romantic relationships as well but truthfully, have no idea where it comes from other than grandparents.

Answer 4

I wouldn't be insulted! Wow. Just make sure both of them have pierced ears. You can tell your mother-in-law not to worry, you will never insult her by buying her diamonds! I only had three bridesmaids and I bought them diamond hearts. I got a really good deal on them at Kohls - with all of their wacky sales & coupons I only paid about $50 each for them. (They were originally $200 pendants) I figured the same thing. If I had 5 girls I would end up spending $150 on them so I went for it. I bought 2 white gold ones (since their wedding rings are platinum) and one yellow gold one because she wears primarily yellow gold.

Answer 5

Why not? I certainly wouldnt be offended if someone wanted to give me diamonds as a gift for being bridesmaid!! Bring em on!!! :-)
I dont know where your mother in law got her idea, she is probably just concerned that you are spending too much on the bridesmaids. Just go with what you and your man are happy doing. They will have something beautiful to remember your special day for the rest of their lives. And diamonds are always in fashion.

Answer 6

I see nothing wrong with it. The earings are something that they will have for years to come. Now that I think of it my wife bought her attendants jewelry, I think pearl necklaces. You may be suprised that most brides buy some sort of jewelry. This is just the beginning of Mother in Law knows best! I gave my groomsman all Coach wallets. Yes they were pricey, but you know what five years later, they still have them and everytime we are together it brings back the good times of my wedding night.

Answer 7

I think it's very nice. Your mother-in-law is just cheap and old fashioned. Ignore her. I wish the brides I have been a bridesmaid for would have given me something nice. I always get a $15 necklace that turns green a month later or some silver compact with my name engraved on it. How many of those do I need? I spent $2,500 on the last wedding I was in and got a $5 candle.

Answer 8

Hi..I think that's a beautiful gift.. And if you and your husband to be agree on it..Your mother in law really has no say..
You're both adults, and it's your wedding..
Maybe your future mother in law, just doesn't want to see you and your husband to be, spend the money on the earrings.or maybe she's just never heard of it..

Best Wishes, and Congratulations on your wedding!
PS..I gave my bridesmaids diamond studs..And they loved them..

Answer 9

Holy cow! I need to tell my mother-in-law that I'm insulted by her giving me the diamond that's in my engagement ring!!! I had no idea!!!

I can't seen to get the picture open, but I'm sure they're gorgeous. If they are in your budget, go for it. What a nice gesture!

Answer 10

There's nothing insulting about buying diamonds for your friends. I'm sure they'll be flattered. What woman wouldn't want diamonds? I'm sure they'll be much more appreciated than the crystal-thingy I got as an attendant gift. Go for the diamonds!