3 1/2 year old won't sleep in his own bed.?

Question

My son refuses to sleep in his own bed. He says there are monsters in the closet (says it with a big smile on his face.) I can get him to fall asleep in his bed if I lay on the floor next to him, but when I wake up in the morning, he is right next to me again. What can I do to fix this?

Answer 1

I had the same problem with both of my kids but more like when they were 2. First thing I did is every night before they went to bed we would open up the bed and tell those "monsters" to "GET OUT MONSTERS!" we would do the same under the bed. Second was to have them sleep with a comfort toy. Any soft toy would be good for this. My daughter slept with a teddy bear and my son slept with a monkey. Holding onto the comfort object makes them feel more secure and they are less likely to wake looking for someone to hold onto for comfort. Try to avoid giving any drinks at night, like an hour or two before bed (don't know if he still wears diapers or wets the bed) because the urge to use the bathroom can wake them up. Try reading stories to him till he falls asleep, and then sneak out of the room. Also, the most important one is that he will still wake up looking for you for a while but you need to draw the line and just ignore it even if it means you miss out on sleep for a awhile from crying or screaming. Sometimes with older kids a reward system can work such as if you sleep by yourself I'll take you to the zoo or give you an ice cream cone or take you to the park, library, etc.. (whatever your son really likes). But again the most important step is that no matter how hard it is for you and how much it tugs at your heart you have to leave him alone in that room and ignore him till the morning unless you hear something that sounds dangerous. Oh also, my daughter had a bit of a relapse when her younger brother started going through this stage so I gave her a toy sword to keep under her pillow to "fight" any "monsters" that might come into her room. Find what other helpers would work for you and your son and also be consistent with whatever you do. A regular pattern helps kids get with the flow. If he opens his door you may want to consider a door knob cover which makes it more difficult to open which will keep him for going other places in the house and make him stay in his own room. This may seem harsh to some but it's better than him waking up quietly and playing with knives in the kitchen. This doesn't have to be permanent only till he can sleep alone in his bed.

Answer 2

My son is 3 1/2 as well and we are going through the same issues in my house he wakes up every where but his bed. This week alone he was on my floor with pillow and blanket. In my 12 year old's bed. Then last night the kids and I laid in my bed to watch a movie and he fell asleep so when I knew he was sound asleep I moved him to his bed and the second I walked out the room he said wait for me. This morning my husband told me that we are going to let my son decide a theme for his room and do it and if he wants it he has to sleep in his room. I think that will work for a little while but I am going to get a poster board and every day my son sleeps in his room I will give him a star and once he gets ten stars I will let him choose dinner or a movie and we will be eatting alot of pancakes and watching Ice Age 2 but I am running out of options I didn't answer your question and I am sorry but I had to vent to someone going through the same thing.

Answer 3

This is a funny one
I woke up just this morning my 3 1/2 yr old son was in my bed as well
were we sleeping together ???
just kidding
We try to reward him for staying in his own bed
a night lite may help as well
if he come in i get him to go potty and then walk him back into his room
he isn't always awake when he comes in it just seems to be a habbit
reward him like the big boy slept in his own bed
say it infront of people he knows that will make him feel good about sleeping in his own bed
try to help him break it
good luck

Answer 4

Yes, this is soo hard, we went thru this as well. You have to do the Super Nanny. Keep putting him in his bed, after the third time you dont say a word, just keep putting him back. I think it took us about 20 times and about 3 days of doing this. Now she sleeps in her bed only :)

Answer 5

i don't like and aof ans. my parents did that to me and i still remember the fear i felt. maybe he is just making it up but if you feel he isn't here are some things i did for my kids.
*play soothing sounds or classical music.
*put a monitor in his room and show him you can hear him from your room.
*give him a walkie talkie and keep the other one with you.
*finally reward him (this one worked with my youngest). He wanted his room decorated a certain way and I told him if he slept in his room all night for a week i would do it for him. Now he stays there all night in his very cool *army room*

Answer 6

DON'T give in to him, even by sleeping in his room. If you have to, put a lock on the outside of his door. He's manipulating you and KNOWS it. Stop being weak.

Answer 7

get firm stop laying in his room this is a game and hes winning put him in his bed put a gate up across his doorway. put his potty chair in there with him and leave. if he gets out pop his but say nothing and put him back to bed

this is a power struggle and you are losing miserably

Answer 8

idk, i have a 6 and a half year old brother that still sleeps in my moms bed. My mom spoils him a lot. his excuse is that he's afraid of the dark and he smiles when he says it to. he's probably too attached to you.

Answer 9

he will grow out of it, leave a light in his bedroom. or get him a special doll and he can talk to at night. maybe a radio or casette with music that he likes

Answer 10

i know it sounds cruel but you have to draw a line somewhere..... anyways my parents would lock my little brother in his room and thus force him to sleep in their.... and yes he got over it and is a normal person now, and has forgiven them.