When I was a child my family were so poor that the only thing I got on my birthday was a year older.
My Husband said he wanted a tie for his birthday that matched the color of his eyes - but where can you find a bloodshot tie?
My wife refuses to use Inter Flora for people's birthdays. She says she doesn't think people would like margarine as a present.
It's my wife's birthday tomorrow. Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present.
"Oh, I don't know," she said. "Just give me something with diamonds."
That's why I'm giving her a pack of playing cards.
2007-08-23 08:46:19 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Limestoner 62. Never thought of that one. That was good. lol
2007-08-23 08:56:16 · update #1
haha thanks twinkle.
2007-08-23 09:00:51 · update #2
Sidd hartha that was funny.
2007-08-23 09:02:19 · update #3
gdc.3 That sure did make me laugh.
2007-08-23 09:03:11 · update #4
hahahaha what do you get someone who has everything? Nothing.
2007-08-23 08:59:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
Here's A Good One.
A Man Loves Beans. HE Eats Them With Every Meal, But It Gives Him Horrible Gas. One Day He Meets A Woman And Is Forced To Give Up Beans. On His Birthday He Decides To Treat Himself, So He Eats More Beans Than He Ever Has Done. So He Comes Hope With Horrible Gas, But Holds It In. His Wife Blindfolds Him And Takes Him To The Kitchen, And Says Wait Here I Have A Surprise For You. So He Sits Down, And Lets Out A Small Fart, And After About 14 Or So Loud And Disgusting Farts He Farts Extremely Loud So That His Chair Shakes. He Has Got Rid Of All Of The Gas Just In time For His Wife to Take Off His Blindfold And To See That All His Family Are At The Table In Party Hats Looking Astonished.
Hope This Makes You Laugh
New One!
A Elderly Man Has Just Bought A Bugatti Veyron For His Birthday (Hes Rich) And He Thinks "Lets Test This Baby Out" So He Drives Down At 120 Mph And Loving It Until A Cop Starts To Follow, The Man Says " I Can Outrun Him" After Hitting The Top Speed He Stops And Thinks, I'm To Old For This... So He Pulls Over And The Cop Looks Into The Car And Says If You Can Give Me One Good Reason Why I Shouldn't Book You I'll Let You Go. The Man Says "My Wife Had An Affair With A Cop I Thought You Where Bringing Her Back." " Have A Nice Day Sir."
Another One!
A Mans Daughter Is Playing On A Rope And Is Swinging Back And Forth When A Bunch Of Mexicans Start Beating Her With A Bat. The Man Runs Outside And Saves His Daughter, The Man Goes "What Happened" She Said "I Don't Know But What The Hell Is A PINYATA"
Another One
Two Blondes Are In The Forest Hunting For A Poisiones Snake When Suddenly It Bites The Man On The Leg. The Man Falls Down Unconcious/Dead And The Other Hunter Grabs His Cell Phone And Calls 999. He Screams "I Think My Friend Is DEAD" "The Operator Says "Calm Down, Make Sure If Hes Dead" The Man Says "Ok" And Puts The Phone On A Rock. Down The Phone A Large Shot From A Gun Is Heard. The Man Goes "Hes Defiently Dead, Now What?"
2007-08-23 08:58:13 · answer #2 · answered by gdc3.rocks 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
lol...funny...here's one for you
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU GET BLONDE GENIES?
A white guy is walking along a beach when he comes across a lamp partially buried in the sand.
He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub. Two blonde genies appear, and they tell him he has been granted three wishes. The guy makes his three wishes and the blonde genies disappear.
The next thing the guy knows, he's in a bedroom, in a mansion, surrounded by 50 beautiful women. He makes love to all of them and begins to explore the house.
Suddenly he feels something soft under his feet, he looks down and the floor is covered in $100 bills.
Then, there's a knock at the door. He answers it and standing there are two people dressed in Ku Klux Klan outfits.
They drag him outside to the nearest tree, throw a rope over a limb and hang him by the neck until he's dead. As the Klansmen are walking away, they remove their hoods; it's the two blonde genies.
One blonde genie says to the other one," I can understand the first wish having all these beautiful women in a big mansion to make love to. I can also understand him wanting to be a millionaire.
But, why he wanted to be hung like a black man is beyond me."
CHeeRioS
2007-08-23 08:56:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Funny
2016-05-21 01:16:43 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's my wife's birthday tomorrow. Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present.
"Oh, I don't know," she said. "Just give me something with diamonds."
That's why I'm giving her a pack of playing cards.
that one was cute
2007-08-23 08:53:37 · answer #5 · answered by I love my angels 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How come it's OK to wear a wetsuit when you go diving, a swimsuit to go swimming but when you wear you birthday suit to your birthday party, people call the cops?
2007-08-23 08:54:15 · answer #6 · answered by Limestoner62 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Ha Ha! Funny! 10!
2007-08-23 13:31:01 · answer #7 · answered by cats 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lol so funny.
2007-08-23 10:41:31 · answer #8 · answered by MiSs _L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well what can a say you have said it all haha a star on the way.
2007-08-23 08:54:11 · answer #9 · answered by Spot 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
ha ha ha
2007-08-23 08:54:49 · answer #10 · answered by Bbobs 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
lol I like the last one.
2007-08-23 08:52:00 · answer #11 · answered by shorte716 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋