What is more important after you marry? Keep a well paying job or not.?

Question

I'm trying to decide what's more important having a part time job clean and keep a well managed house by myself w/out a service, have home more cooking, a wife around for support for hubbie's business trips, and take care of things all yourself.

Or keep a well paying job with long hours and hire people to tend to house, have hubbie go on business trips by himself, and get take out because I get home so late. But have extra money to buy a lot more things. Nicer furniture, house, car etc.

My husband and I had both were in demanding jobs, I worked in television working on show graphics for primetime and daytime shows, sounds luxurious but it's really demanding with hard deadlines and the hours are late due to the primetime nature. Till 11pm or in the wee hours of the morning. My husband is a medical doctor, also sounds luxurious but very demanding and his schedule had opposite time frames with my work. He would start a 6am and be home around 4pm, lots of conferences and weekends. We decided for me to stay home for "us" I do miss my job and feel I'm not the housekeeping type but I really try to establish it as job. My husband I love him but he's just a messy guy. What can I say? We can get buy on his salary but I feel almost silly being home. I feel I'm very creative, smart and with my design skills I'm wasting my time cleaning. I'm going to give freelance a try. And maybe be my own company. I just wanted to hear other stories of married woman that work. Keep me posted!

Answer 1

My husband and I prefer to have me stay home. We only have one car at the moment so if I wanted to start work then we'd have to buy another one. The cost of that, plus more for insurance, more for gas, and more for car maintenance, etc... would eat up my paycheck. Plus like you said, the house wouldn't be as clean (unless you hired someone to do it for you), the cooking issues, and all of that other stuff.

It works for us because my husband is in the military. His schedule is hectic enough for two people. He enjoys coming home to a clean house, good food, and a "non frazzled" wife. I can make sure the laundry and other chores are done during the week so he can relax when he comes home at night and on the weekends. It doesn't sound like I do a lot, but trust me, I keep busy. Soldiers make more mess then you'd think lol. I am also in college. Staying home free's me up for school.

Sure, we don't have all that much money. But we can still go out and have a nice dinner once or twice a month. We can still get nice things for our house and take a vacation once in a while. We just have to be smart and save up for it.

It really depends on the situation of you and your significant other. If money and "things" are more important to you, then fine. If you prefer to support your husband at home then that's fine too. Don't buy into all the hype that homemakers are "old fashioned" or anti-feminist or stuff like that. Being a homemaker is a job in itself.

Answer 2

I think you two need to decide what your priorities are. Does your husband want you home to help him out more? Would you rather be able to spend more money, or live without? Do you want to work and save money for retirment? What will you do if/when you have children, do you need to save money for that event, college? Should you work long enough to get the nicer things in your house and then start working part time?

Make a list of questions that you guys are wondering about, and then make a pros and cons list and see where you stand in the end...at least that is what I would do if I had the choice between the two.

Answer 3

I worked part time for a year after I got married and then worked full time. My hubby quit traveling with his job and they hired someone else to travel. I worked for 3 years at my full time job the 2-4th year of our marriage. I hated every moment of it because I knew I had lots to do at home to fill the same amount of time. But, the pay was good and the insurance was great. It paid off because we had our first child and my insurance took care of it. I was able to quit work and stay home after our daughter was born, and a year later we bought our 2nd house which is the house I'd been wanting. That all being said, I couldn't have done it with out working some during the first part of our marriage. I think you will know what is best for your relationship. If you can live comfortably with out your income, then I see nothing wrong with not working, but if you are wanting to get a head and get nicer things so you can quit working in the future (if you plan to have kids..) then you will be financially set to do so.

Answer 4

If your only reason for keeping the well paying job is money, then I wouldn't. On the other hand, if you love your job, and it is more to you than just a way to get money, you need to consider that into the factor.

Personally, I would much rather have someone else clean my house, but my husband would hate having a stranger in there. If you do something part time, and you really enjoy it, then it may be the best of both worlds.

Answer 5

I don't see why you can't do both. We're getting married in November, but we live together now. I have a well paying job, we take turns cleaning, we cook dinner together, and I travel with him on business trips whenever I can, which is most of the time. Instead of planning to do it all yourself or not at all, work together with your future husband in maintaining your household?

But we are considering hiring a nanny when we have a baby (which we will start planning to have soon after marriage) so the household needs won't get out of hand.

Answer 6

for me, think that life is all about balance. you can work part-time, still keep your resume up to date, and be a better, more relaxed wife. you will have more flexibility and will be in a better mood when your husband comes home. just be realistic about the situation and consider some things first.

-get disability insurance on your husband since he will be the breadwinner. if he is ever sick or unable to work, you can still maintain your standard of living and have time to find a new job.
-discuss ahead of time how the money will be allocated. you don't want to feel like you are getting an allowance from you husband.
-make a contract with yourself: make a schedule for cleaning and doing housework so you don't fall into a laissez faire attitude and laze around.


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Answer 7

Definitely go with the part time job! Speaking from experience it is not worth the stress of working ful time and trying to run a household by yourself! If you budget well you will still be able to afford things you need and want. PLus if you decide to start a family it is definitely worth it!

I was working full time and running the house...barely and so stressed I was making myself sick. My boss let me cut my hours and have more flexibility and it has been a huge blessing!

Good luck whatever you decide!

Answer 8

Hi...I'm sure others will say, "don't complain", but I see your point. Why not do lots of volunteer work. Where I live there is a doctor's wife who has been involved in LOTS of things, actually, to the point that her volunteer work was becoming a full-time "job"!!. I wouldn't go that overboard, though. You can pick and choose. Do what interests you, but don't sit home all day cleaning. With your brains and drive, lots of organizations would be more than happy to put out the "welcome" mat. Good luck!

Answer 9

If you can swing it, go part time. Also, if you are planning on having children, you should consider being a SAHM. I worked fulltime for two years after we were married, and I was the higher earning spouse. However, once the baby came, I stayed at home full time, leading to a MUCH happier family life, and marriage. WAY less stress!

Answer 10

Sweetie, nobody says you can't have it all. And remember, your husband should be helping with the household stuff. Keep a good job, but make sure your hours are reasonable. Then, split up the rest of the household tasks so you still have a homey, comfortable house and all the goodies you want.