Am I being selfish, and not talking to friend like I did when there was romantic interest?

Question

I have this girl, who I hella get along with and share good vibes with, was feeling like she could be something special, more than friends. we talked on the phone everyday for 3 hours or more, and had a blast hanging out.

well she hit me with the "I just want to be friends" line, and I admittedly was dissapointed but what can I do?

she's an amazing person so being friends is still rewarding.

but we don't talk like we used to (cause of me), and we have this convo about how she misses my company, and why cant we talk like we used to,

and I explained to her that before I wanted her to be the special lady in my life, the one I put before everyone else, and now that were just friends we talk and I treat her like all my other friends.

I dont treat my friends bad by any means, just dont talk to em everday for hours on end.

basically she still wants me to treat her and ace like I did when there were feelings involved, and still just be friends.

am I being selfish or No?

Answer 1

Can I explain that if you want to have a truly wonderful deep and meaningful relatinship you guys need to both see that lovers=friends, theres no damn differents!!!!!! Oooo if you add romantic love into the equation like you did it fs it up see romanitc lover < lovers=friends, you see how it works, Romanitc love is a WONDERFUL notion, but at the sametime its only part of the love, just becasue you lost that doesn't mean the lovers=friendship is over, so why be so mean with it? Just to get her back? I say this because I've been there, just because someone can't give you the future and won't have sex with you, doesn't mean it will always be like, nor does it mean you have to be different. Also realize that sometimes, we get so caught up in the fantasy of romance, that we forget the reality of love, that in end like you said its great to have someone we care about right there with us, don't treat them any less for giving you the "second" prize because as time goes on and you grow from this you'll see it wasn't second prize, it was just the truth of your guys love. People think its all or nothing, while I see just being there for someone thru all of it, as friends, lovers, bonded indivduals that share a history together, is just as powerful and just as intense. Don't forgo the feelings ether let her know, but don't let your wants get infront of the simple need of belonging to her, even if it isn't as a husban or something, you might find out like I did, It can be so much stronger, and boy the intimacy.... ouch... yea so much stronger, don't need a future with them, to love, care, and be there for them now.... besides were not all perfect enough to be the fantasy for romantic love, but by talking as heartfelt and honest as we can, we can be perfect for the reality of it!