She says she loves her dog but when you ask her to feed it or water it she throws a fit. I have threatened to get rid of the dog and that has had no effect what so ever. Also, I turned it loose and the pound picked it up, so I told her that the only way she could get it back was if she promised to take care of it. Needless to say that was as empty of a promise as any one could get. Need advice quick before I loose my wits.
2007-08-23 06:00:10 · 28 answers · asked by Delores W 1 in Pets ➔ Dogs
Take over the responsibility of the dog and make it clear its your dog now since you are taking care of it. She probably wont like the idea that it is no longer her dog so maybe she will come around, if not, YOU have a new pet.
2007-08-23 06:12:34 · answer #1 · answered by rainydaze 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Delores, YOU are the adult here. A child should NOT be put solely in charge of caring for a dog...they are just NOT capable of it, no matter how much she loves the dog or how mature she is, she is NOT an adult, and should not be in charge of a living thing.
Why would you "turn loose" your dog? It's cruel and inhumane, NOT just for the dog, but think about what you are doing to that child! It's abusive to your daughter to try to manipulate her like that. She will not EVER forget what you have done to her by trying to throw her dog away, I guarantee it.
That said, it's not the dog's problem, it's a PARENTING problem. 10 years old IS old enough to take on some SMALL responsibilities around the home. Perhaps feeding and watering the dog could be her job. Remind her to do it every day at a specific time (after your family has their dinner, perhaps). If she doesn't do it, there should be consequences for HER, not for the dog. You could restrict her TV, IPod, phone, or computer access for every day she doesn't complete her "chores".
You MUST remember that this is a child, and she will behave like one. You must find a better way to encourage responsible behavior in your child. If there are behavioral issues with your daughter, you should consider therapy...it's available privately, through your church, through the Department of Social Services, perhaps even through her school.
Good luck to you and your daughter, it seems there are much bigger issues than caring for a pet going on here, and the issue that needs to be resolved is between you and your daughter...please leave the poor dog out of the fight, that dog is innocent, and so is your child. Start by looking within yourself as to why you react so negatively, start treating both your daughter and your dog in a POSITIVE way, and good things will start to happen.
2007-08-23 18:24:38 · answer #2 · answered by Leigh 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you should never "let a dog loose". That was really immature, come on. Sure doesn't teach your daughter any kind of responsibility.
Secondly, a 10 year old can not be held responsible for taking care of a dog. She doesn't even take care of herself. However, I think your child doesn't take you seriously if you ask her to do something and she throws a fit. Has she ever had any kind of discipline? If not, you need to address this right away.
Maybe feeding/watering the dog should be her chore, and if she doesn't do it, take something else away, like her TV or barbies, or whatever 10 year old girls treasure.
This is deeper than the dog, this is about your child respecting/listening to you as her mother.
As for the dog, if you as well as your daughter, refuse to take care of the dog, then I can see where your daughter gets this behavior and the dog would be better off being re-homed to a family who WILL feed/water/walk it.
Good luck
2007-08-23 06:39:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
I don't mean to be rude here but I have to be honest. I can see where she gets her irresponsibility from....you. You taught her somewhere down the line to be this way. The reason I am saying this is because you said you "let the dog loose only to let the pound pick it up". That is the most irresponsible thing I have ever heard. People like you really don't need to have dogs, they deserve better than to be treated like a "thing". And to leave the dog in the hands of a 10 year old isn't exactly responsible either. I only hope the dog is getting fed and watered regularly. Maybe you should find the dog a better home with people who will want to take care of it instead of leaving it up to a kid that has no idea what being responsible is and a parent that taught her to be that way.
Sorry if you don't like this answer but after having worked at an animal shelter I have little tolerance for irresponsible dog and cat owners like you and your family.
2007-08-23 06:16:07 · answer #4 · answered by Nunya 1 · 9⤊ 0⤋
Do you like having the dog in the family?
If yes than you have to take care of it and you can take away some of her privlages if she doesn't take care the of the dog. You could explain to her the responsiblities of taking care of someone or something, the way you take care of her and let her know that you have to do more than just love the animal. And if she loves it than she should want to take care of it.
If you don't really care for the dog and are only using it to teach the child a lesson than you need to put the dog up for adoption. Maybe put an ad in the paper and have people come to the house and look at the dog while she is there too. Then if she wants another pet say no.
2007-08-23 06:12:10 · answer #5 · answered by rate86 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would try using rewards for good behaviour, punishments and escape routes rarely have a desirable outcome for you and the child, so, maybe you could tell her if she feeds and waters the dog every day for a week you will take her out for dinner to her favourite restraunt! Or buy her some clothing or other fancy she's been wanting. She deserves good things for being good!! For children, it's not a matter of what They want because she does not know any better. She needs redirection and guidance, so always always offer a good reward!!
Hold onto your wits through this though, please, because I can remember growing up the only thing that worked for me was when my Daddy said you do this _____ and we'll go out for ice cream tommorrow evening, or at the end of the semester, we'll go out for lobster, that idea In mind really kept me going and I started to feel so much different about life, there was a reason to do the right thing b/c u get treated nicely! Most importantly you must stick with this and if she starts falling off track re-inforce this plan with her, you may need to stay patient and stick this out for a while but now is a good time to teach her, she will be much happier for it. : )
2007-08-23 06:14:11 · answer #6 · answered by Jeska J 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Find a no kill shelter in your area and ask them if you can surrender your dog. I can't believe you would just turn the dog loose. Really bad odds for the dog and if your child knew or knows you would do this, what kind of responsibility message are you sending as a parent. I am not trying to insult you, but rather open your eyes to a bad judgment call. My 11 yr old can be found in Webster's dictionary under "lazy" so I know your frustrations. I make him do his homework and take the dog for a walk and refill the food and water BEFORE the TV, computer or Nintendo ever gets turned on. He whines and complains but he does it. Good luck, the even more challenging years are ahead of us both!
2007-08-23 06:14:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, in all honesty, it's never a good idea for parents to get a dog/puppy with the assumption their children will take care of it properly. That often is never the case. Any time a parent gets a dog, for the children, it's best to assume they will not take proper care of the dog. It's nice to work on teaching your children how to do so properly, but getting a dog and telling them it's simply their full responsibilty isn't a good idea.
You have 2 options... One is for you to admit that your child won't properly care for the dog and that you will need to do it. Two is that you find the dog a suitable home, where it will get the care it needs.
On a side note: Letting the dog loose, where it could have been hit by a car and killed was not a solution, nor set a very good example of proper pet care to your child. Think about what kind of impact something like that has from your child's point of view. You've essentially told her it's okay to let the dog loose. That was complete bad judgement and irresponsible on your part and NEVER should have happened at all. You taught nothing, as you said, and you put that dog at risk. I think option 2 is what you need to do and don't get another dog until YOU are willing to be responsible for it.
2007-08-23 06:12:03 · answer #8 · answered by Shadow's Melon 6 · 10⤊ 1⤋
She's under the age of 18.. therefore its YOUR dog.
You have the responsibility to care for that animal.
If YOU don't want a dog...act responsibly and find it a nice new home.
Kids can be responsible, its all a matter of how they are raised. I spent a weekend with a 9 year old and his 5 mos old boxer pup (his parents show dogs). He was staying with his godmother whose dog I was showing.. and they were both staying at my house. Friday he was great.. took the pup out .. played with it.. trained it.. Saturday .. again great... Sunday, he didn't spend much time with it, I was off showing and the pup had a messy accident in the crate. His parents have raised him well.. I reminded him that the dog is his responsibility so he needed to bathe the dog and wash out the crate (I dried the dog while the crate was being cleaned). Lesson learned: Take out the pup or its more work in the end.
As for how to deal with your daughter... there is a pretty good parenting section on YA!
2007-08-23 06:46:20 · answer #9 · answered by animal_artwork 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm with Lisa. A dog is an ADULT's responsibility. Children can learn from owning a dog, but they shouldn't be given full responsibility for a pet, just like they shouldn't be responsible for a small child. They're simply not mature enough, no matter how much you nag.
It sounds like you have already lost your wits if you are letting an innocent dog "loose" to get hit by a car or attacked by another dog.
2007-08-23 06:28:18 · answer #10 · answered by Arggg 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
try telling her that you will not do it any more ...you will play with the dog a little bit but it is up to her to feed it and water it...monitor her to make sure she does and and if she doesn't sneak out at night to feed it and then tell her that her dog was hungry last night because she didn't feed it...i know it seems mean but i think it's the only way other wise it might be best for the dog to be given away to someone who will actually take care of it.....tell her that she is making this a chore and its supposed to be a priviledge to get a dog..and privileges can be taken away....then ask a friend to take care of it for a little while if she wants it back she needs to promise and sign a contract and there has to be a consequence for her not following it my suggestion is to take away money but you need to tell her that if she throws a fit and you have to fee the dog so many numbers of times and keep a tally that you are gonna give it away....if she doesn't follow through give it away for good...and tell her that since she can't prove her responsibility she will have to wait until she's older to get another dog
2007-08-23 06:44:16 · answer #11 · answered by pianoplayer4life 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋