overprotective parents...?

Question

I'm a 14 year old girl turning 15 in January. I have really strict parents & they're overprotective to me. I need more freedom. I just want to be able to talk on the phone with boys but they said I cant because my sister did alot of things when she was 13 that changed my parents level of trust in both of us. I understand why they don't want me to talk on the phone with boys because their reasons are good but I still think its unfair. They wont let me go to parties either even if there is supervision, unless they know the person & their parents. Boyfriends are a no as well since my parents said i cant date until i know what I'm gonna do with my life. I don't understand why they cant accept the fact that I'm a different person & wont do the same mistakes & that i need to make mistakes to learn from them. Its not like I've done anything that would make them not trust me. Whenever i confront them about this issue it ends with yelling. How can I get them to trust me more?

I can't go to the movies or anything like that with boys either. Only with friends who are girls, and if there's an adult or my friends sister who my mom knows well and trusts [i guess. but she [my friends sister] doesnt really care what i do tho. lol]

Answer 1

trust is earned and your older sister definitely made it difficult for you - you parents know what is best for you - young people make a lot of mistakes and parents know the dangers that are out there - the problem with a young person like yourself is that you forget that adults have already been down the path that you are currently walking - they have been hurt, they have been in love, they have been used - they are trying to shield you from the things that may hurt you - eventually, they will have to let go a bit and give you a little freedom but until then, just go with what they're saying and appreciate that your parents love you as much as they do - good luck

Answer 2

OK, your parents are just afraid of you getting in trouble. They don't want to lose you two and they are scared of what could happen. But if you really want to set this situation straight, then this is what you say. You go up to your parents and you tell them everything. Tell them at the beginning that you have had your time to say what you think is right, and now it is my turn. Tell them that I am a 15 yr old girl who wants a life. I want to have a boyfriend, I want to have freedom in my life. Mom, dad, I know you want the best for me and you want me to be 't happy but I am not happy. I am unhappy because I don't have the trust I deserve. I didn't do anything wrong at all and you guys are still treating me like a baby. I am only 15 I haven't learned anything yet and I never will unless you guys just give me a chance. When I am 30 you guys will still be giving me driving lessons. I can be trusted and I know right from wrong! And if you guys don't believe me then you guys apparently don't know your kid. And that's it! That 's what you say and I guarentee they will change!

~pinkstuff969~
=)

Answer 3

Well, parents will be parents... there's not much you can do about their rules. It's a shame that your sister screwed it up for you! You're right in that they should learn to confide in you a little more, but at least they have good reasons. I don't see anything wrong with not letting you go to a party when they don't know the person's parents or the host. I wouldn't let me daughter go either! 14-year-olds are doing a lot of things that they shouldn't be doing nowadays.

In either case, when you tried to talk to them were you gentle and calm? Or did you start to whine? If you were completely mature about it and just talked to them, listened and they STILL aren't budging, there's not much you can do about it. The best thing you can do is go with their rules for a while and try again when you're older. If you start sneaking around, you're going to make your life hell if they find out!! So that's not a good option at all... and that will prove that you weren't trustworthy. Anyway, the best way to earn their trust is to just go with it for a while. Do they let you go to the movies and stuff with friends? You can always include boys in a group of friends.

Answer 4

Hahaha my goodness it's as if I'm hearing my 13-year old self talk for the first time again. Usually parents who grew up with a strict and conservative background would treat their kids the same way. Sometimes because of the mistakes they made when they were younger, they would try to protect their children from committing the same thing by being strict, unaware that they're going too far at times. Confronting them won't do anything since they'd explode if their daughter starts "yelling" at them about their rules (please as if they're not doing anything to cause us to yell), so the best thing I can suggest to you is to find the right time to sit them both down and try to explain to them and show them that you are not a wild party girl who'd get herself pregnant like those girls who get pregnant in movies. It's important that you also show them through your actions that you're obedient to them and you respect their rules so that they will also see that you can be trusted.
Just take it easy, I know it's hard. It's what every teenage girl has to go through. I graduated from this horrible phase when I entered college and believe me, it was H-E-L-L. Take care and good luck opening up to them.

Answer 5

I think it's great that you actually have parents that care... both parents.
My parents were like that too. I thought life was aweful! I couldn't do anything! But what I didn't realize was that I was doing all the things a girl for my age was supposed to be doing. When I turned 18, I moved out with a girlfriend. We had a blast!!!
Then I met my husband. We dated and from my parents being such great roll models and giving me inner strength, values, morals and high standards to live by, I married as a virgin. I have NEVER looked back and felt deprived. When all of the other girls were getting pregnant, getting venarial diseases, getting raped, having massive drama, getting sick, flunking out because of stress, or having abortions... I was riding horses, motorcycles, hiking, camping, going to the lake, hanging with the girls talking about the boys, etc. I had a great childhood. And that's what all of these kids that are moving so fast into relationships too early are missing out on.
Believe me, you're not missing out on anything...
Go wild as a kid! Go have good clean fun right now while you still can! You will NEVER regret it!!!

And by the way... you are very lucky to have parents who actually care and I am so thankful that I did too...

Answer 6

wow, an issue of overprotective parents.
i think, they have good reasons enough.
how can u be so sure u wont do mistakes?
they're just trying to discipline u, guide u.
but it's not that bad to explain urselves to them.
write them a letter of ur thoughts.
at least they know how ur feeling.
once i didnt listen to my parents, and did something they dont know was the start of mistakei did something so wrong that i wished i've listened to them.
yes, u can learn from ur mistakes, but would u wait that u commit mistakes and realize what u learn?
try to understand ur parents.ur their child.they only love u so much.parents are like that, they cant help but to be overprotective.
yes, they can be so irritating, but when u grow up.. ul soon realize that if not for them, ul never be where u are.
i love my parents so much even if there are things we argue about.
u have the right to voice out, but always bear in mind, never disrespect ur parents.
u said that u havent done something to lose their trust on u, then don't do anything that will really push them to lose their trust on u.
it will be a very very tough life when it happen.
godbless!

Answer 7

That sounds like my parents. Exactly. Although I know what I want to do with my life but they don't want me to get a bf because they think that it will mess me up or something. Because I want to go into the medical profession, Pediatric Neurology to be exact. You'll eventually learn to deal with it. I'm 14 as well and whenever we start talking about it we end up yelling as well. I'm hoping it will get better. As for the trust issue, show them that they can trust you. Get good grades, study for all your tests, make sure to do all your homework. Help around the house and maybe even do some community service just for fun. Who knows it might work.

Answer 8

Well when I was your age I was in your situation...my parents however did have reasons not to trust me...It's understandable that even though you might say that you won't do the same things that your sister did you never know cause you might...Maybe when you talk to them try not to end the conversation yelling...tell them that you feel like you're mature enough to talk to guys and make sure that they trust you...but you also have a couple of months until you're 15...

My mom wasn't OK with me and dating until after a while that I turned 16...and now I feel like she expects me to have a boyfriend...and when she asks me and I tell her that I don't she doesn't believe me...well anyways just try to be as mature as you can and don't act immature because by whining about it just makes them think you're not mature enough yet...
GOOD LUCK!!!`

Answer 9

I am 19! and i will be 20 soon. I have the same parent and all the same rules! I just laugh about it after i got use to it. I am in uni now, and still they make me call them once i got to uni, reason being they want to be sure i am in uni and that i am safe. Just think about it, i have friends who has parents with no rules at all, none, they can do what ever they want. What happens to them at 19? Some are into drugs, having sex with anyone and no in uni or studying, working as a waitress and pregnant and so many more. You might want your freedom and think your different from others, but remember your human, your bound to do atleast one mistake. I was in a all girl school, and i can only go out with girls and yes my parents must know who they are. When i went to uni, and i stayed in the hostel for about 8months, i got all the freedom i ever want, i got scared, i had to deal with so many responsibilities towards myself, and i am always alert on things, because my parents werent calling me as much or any more rules. I kinda miss their over protecting towards me, having to call them when i reach my destination or having them drop me off to places i need and all, was good, they kept me safe. I am very thankful to them, because i trun out pretty good, i am in university now, doing my degree in applied science, i am one of the top students in my class, and i do have friends ( boys and girls ) and i have a wonderful parent who are just being a great parent and protecting me. So, just stop complaining to them, study hard, get good grades, be happy with your girlfriend, and when time comes, your parents will just let you go and you'll get that freedom you want and remember, with all that freedom, comes a big responsibilty. Oh, just few months back, my dad told me to find a bf, and he was all nice about it and ask me to talk to boys and make friends. See, he came around when he knows i am old enough and that i am doing very good at uni. So, you just be patient, enjoy your high school life with your girlfriends, and enjoy life okay, They love you, just be thankful you have parents like that. Good luck in your studies and all the best in life.

Answer 10

Their not really being over protective they mean well they just want to make sur nothing happens to you b/c it is so much going on in the world today on the internet kidnappings murders so just be thankful you have parents like that b'c remember everyone doesn't and they might not always be here so enjoy them and just do what they ask ok. Good Luck and let them know you love and apprciate them.