Right now, my husband works and right now I have taken responsibilities as a housewife until my crew reports to work. My brother in law has moved here as well to work, and my husband offered to let him stay with us. First of all, he made the offer without discussing it with me first. We live in a studio apartment with 2 dogs. It's perfect for us, but crowded with 3 people. There are no separate bedrooms. There is no privacy to be had in the house anymore. His brother uses the bathroom, and doesn't flush the toilet. The trash piles up and over flows. Cereal boxes and milk jugs get piled around the trash can when they don't fit. No one takes the initiative to empty the trash. They wait for me to do it. I've asked for help with dishes since I cook. My husband doesn't like doing dishes, but I feel this is a sacrifice he should make since he introduced a roomate. His brother is also mean to my dogs. I'm considering moving out once I start to work. Any one have any advice?
2007-08-23 05:06:35 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If your husband wont cooperate by asking him to leave then I think moving out is a good idea. People usually dont respond until they realize they could lose something. Its not your job to clean up after him.
2007-08-23 05:14:22 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you need to have a "family" meeting and discuss responsibilities... it's not a crime to ask others for help, or expect them to pitch in.
your husband hasn't really been fair to you, since he didn't discuss the brother coming to live there.
let them both know how you feel.. you don't have to yell or scream or even get upset. tell them there has to be some order in your home, because you'd rather enjoy it, than live in a pig sty.
let the brother in law know that he has to respect your animals, flush the toilet and clean up after himself in order to live there...let both know that when they see the garbage needs dumping, to take care of it... ask them for help with dishes and keeping things orderly.
it's not too much to ask ... it's YOUR home too.. brother in law is a guest... husband needs to respect his own home as well.
you can also pick a specific day for each person to do things... tell them this is how it needs to be, before you lose your sanity.
i think that you might consider discussing a MOVE OUT date for the brother in law with your husband, and let him know he has X amout of time to find something else.
i'm really sorry about your privacy issues too... that has to be difficult
i hope you get some good answers here.
2007-08-23 05:17:47 · answer #2 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all, i think ur husband should have discussed the issue with you before doing the decision..
and second, i think you really have to talk to your husband about the whole thing..
why not tell his brother to rent an apartment? you have to convince him that there will be no more privacy between you and ur husband while his brother is hanging in the house!!
and about ur dogs... if he continue treats your dogs so mean, you can sue him as animal abuse!! :P
well good luck to you!!
2007-08-23 05:26:47 · answer #3 · answered by Alex 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go on strike and move out with the dogs in tow until the brother is out. Your husband will get pissed at his brother because nothing is being done, and he will realize that it is at least one of their faults that you left.
2007-08-23 05:13:11 · answer #4 · answered by RedRabbit 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should talk to your husband first.
Obviously, the life you two have has no proper room for another person (not only physically), and it was thoughtless of him to do such thing.
Since his brother is an adult, I think he's the one who needs to find a different place, and not you.
2007-08-23 05:14:41 · answer #5 · answered by Alice_d 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell your husband pick one - wife or brother and then move out (motel) until he decides. Is your brother-in-law's name Michael Vick?
2007-08-23 05:12:31 · answer #6 · answered by MensaMan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would tell my hubby to make a choice its either me or his brother,if he can't choose then you chose yourself to move out and just see how long it takes for your hubby to realized what a big mistake he's made by letting his brtoher move in and him loosing his wife.You are not responsible to clean up after your brother in law,nor your hubby if he wants to takes side with his brother.i would just tell them both bluntly i'm not their maid and then move on.
2007-08-23 05:20:32 · answer #7 · answered by rebelady28379 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to your husband, you need your privacy & i can't believe your husband, he don't even think of you, i know hes trying to help his brother but you don't have any extra room,
if your husband still insist on keeping him (his bro) there mobe out ASAP
2007-08-23 05:23:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋