This person has children that are out of control and she does nothing to stop them from taking other people's favors and eating everything in sight if it's something they like. They are downright rude and obnoxious and ruin everyone else's nice time. The occassion is a baby shower for my sister and this is her good friend from high school. She does not even want to consider not inviting her. How can I do this in a nice and tactful way without hurting her feelings? The persons with the obnoxious kids has a very good friend that is also being invited to my sister's shower and I am sure will talk to her once she receives the invitation. So how can I make it seem as if she is not the only one being targeted?
Please help!
2007-08-23 03:33:24 · 23 answers · asked by Gina 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Specify adults only on the invitations. You can't allow anyone to bring children though if you won't let her bring hers.
2007-08-23 03:41:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 12⤊ 0⤋
I would simply state on the invitations that this party will not be appropriate for children under the age of _____.
If you've already sent the invitations, just let EVERYONE know when they call to RSVP, that the shower will be for adults only. That way no one feels singled out, and the girl with the obnoxious kids knows very clearly that she needs to get a sitter that day, because otherwise it would be unfair to all the other guests who DID get a sitter that day.
You are correct that nothing ruins a baby shower like small children who are out of control, and you are an awesome shower hostess for going to bat for your friend on this issue. If you let this girl bring her kids and disrupt things, then you are putting her feelings in front of those of the mom-to-be.
If it comes down to it, you may have to directly tell her that the party is not for children. If her feelings are hurt, then that is better than the alternative - letting the kids ruin the baby shower for your friend. So do what you have to do to make sure they aren't there! Your friend will thank you.
2007-08-23 04:50:47 · answer #2 · answered by Diaper Cakewalk 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Isn't a baby shower for adults? I have never been to one that includes children. If this is now the case then I would plan something special for the children that keeps them occupied while the shower is going on. By all means don't single this family out. If the children come in while the shower is going on and the children miss behave then I would call this to the attention of their mother. If it happens more than once I would continue to seek the mothers help. If they head for the goodies not intended for them I would address this myself. This reminds me of a time in the grocery store when a mother kept telling her children not to do something but they kept on until they pulled a can from the bottom of a display and the entire display fell down. See I told you to stop now are you satisfied and she walked on. I have an idea this is what you are up against. Allow for it and work around the problems that come up. Serve individuals plates of goodies.
2007-08-23 03:59:41 · answer #3 · answered by plyjanney 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no easy way to do this. If you do not what her friend's children there, then you will have to uninvite all the children of everyone who is invited. Just put on all the invitation. that "No children are allowed". If they can't find a babysitter then maybe they will just drop a gift off and keep going.
Oh, I did'nt know that you already printed the invitations. Well you are going to have to call everyone on the invitation list and let them know that the baby shower is for "Adults ONLY"
2007-08-23 04:28:53 · answer #4 · answered by Tonya W 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would specify that the shower is for adults only. Maybe you could add a nice note in all of the invitations that no children are allowed. Probably the only way she will feel she is not being targeted is to put this note in all of the invitations. (kind of a shame for the good kids though) Maybe you could put "no children under the age of 13 please" and just word it as nicely as possible.
2007-08-23 05:06:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Can you hire a nanny for the day for the people who don't know any better than to bring children to an adult event? Perhaps there are neighbors or local high school kids who can take care of the kids during the shower. It may be that this woman cannot afford a babysitter in order to attend these events so I think offering childcare in a situation such as this is perfectly reasonable. You can call her and let her know that you have arranged for childcare (either in her home or elsewhere) for her children. PS: You have to pay for the nanny or babysitters!
2007-08-23 04:22:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are going to do that, you need to make sure there are no kids there at all. That way you can tell her it is an all adult event. If not, you are stuck with them, you can't not invite her kids, if others are coming, its rude and you will hurt her feelings deeply. if they are going to come, you need to think ahead and get some good kid movies, some crafts, set up some good snacks, things like that to keep them occupied in the other room. Also you should sit them down and ask the kids, or rather tell them that this is a special occasion and you need them to be on good behavior, that you will not tolerate yelling etc.. Tell the friend you are going to chat with them a minute about the event and get them set up. She shouldn't mind, so ling you are not mean to them, but nice yet firm.
2007-08-23 03:57:29 · answer #7 · answered by Maalru3 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
YOu could make th baby shower at a time where it wouldnt be a good time to bring kids out. Or if you have the time set already you could just out and out put on the invitations thats its a child free time, so please leave all children at home. Or even better hire a babysitter to look after kids that people might bring. That way no one feels as thought they are being singled out.
2007-08-23 06:31:54 · answer #8 · answered by shug 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Put on the invitation that: This shower is for adults only. That way, everyone will get that message. If she shows up with the bratty kids, you will have to let her know that she needs to discipline her kids. Someone ought to do this poor woman a favor and refer her to outside help (counselor, clergy, etc.) before the bratty kids grow up to be beasts. Sometimes, one has to be realistic and up front (you don't need to be rude about it), but be honest. Feelings might be hurt, but in the end, it will be well worth everyone's sanity.
2007-08-23 04:39:21 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make the shower for adults only. And be sure to specify that on the ivitation. It's rough that you have to exclude everyone's children because of her lack of control over hers, but it's rude to let other people bring their children and not her. Just be very clear that NO children are invited and if she brings her kids and they get out of hand, politely ask her to leave if she can't calm them down and remind her that it was supposed to be an adult event.
2007-08-23 03:50:56 · answer #10 · answered by OhKatie! 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My advice to you is say to everybody that NO KIDS at this shower, you can't tell "her" not to bring the kids without telling everybody the same thing OR you could set STRICT RULES as to where the kids will be during the shower (set up an area outside for the kids with kool-aid, snacks and the like, but don't load them up with sugar products so they remain somewhat calm) Hope everything works out for the best for your shower.
2007-08-23 03:46:50 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋