McDonald's Job Application?

Question

NAME
Greg Bulmash.
DESIRED POSITION
Reclining. HA! But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY
£185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION
Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD
Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY
Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT
My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING
It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK
Any.

PREFERRED HOURS
1.30-3.30pm, Monday, Tuesday, Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?
Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?
If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?
Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?
I think the more appropriate question here would be 'Do you have a car that runs?'

HAVE YOU RECIEVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITIONS?
I may already be a winner of the Readers Digest Prize Draw.

DO YOU SMOKE?
Only when set on fire.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?
Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy supermodel who thinks I'm the best thing since sliced bread. Actually I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE REST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?
No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.

SIGN HERE
Scorpio with Libra rising.

Answer 1

Oh my god!! Im laughing so much I got tears running down my face! So funny!!

Answer 2

If you want the job this is what you are going to do son: find out the manager's schedule and go every day while he's working and ask him for a job. If he says he's not hiring that a good thing. Stay persistent, and he will hire you sooner or later. Dress well every time you go. Make sure your rocking a fresh cut and are well shaved if you got facial hair. Make sure your not wearing clothes that call too much attention or look like a street cat. Act and talk with confidence. Ask the manager if he's hiring and if he says no, don't just leave. Be like "No? I need a job, trust me i could work." I hope you get the idea. Be persuasive. Ask the manager for a number you could reach him. The more questions you ask about the job the better are your chances. He might hate you at first but sooner or later he'll start liking you. That's how i did it. And by the way f**k McDonalds for laying me off. I work at a pharmacy now.

Answer 3

Thats well funny! I actually got turned down by Maccy d's when i was about 16/17 because i didnt smile enough! The shame....Ooooh! that gives me an idea for a question!

Answer 4

HAHAHA .... excellent.

praise this young fellow and dance around him in some kind of fire ritual while pointing at him.


I may already be a winner of the Readers Digest Prize Draw.lmao.

Answer 5

Funny, I saw that before it was a real aplication and the guy did get hired for his originality. Probably also because he one of the few that spelled everything right.

Answer 6

Funny. And your last position held is the same as my current one! Golden Arches, here I come.

Answer 7

If we all could be so brave to fill out a job application like yours. power to the people. I bet you would get a job at "Good Burger" home of the good burger, ha! ha! I like this application very much. your hired!

Answer 8

Ha Ha that was funny. Different from other job application jokes I've heard in the past. :)

Answer 9

extra funny star 4 u

Answer 10

You are over qualified for the job on offer, would you like to be the MD?