I'm so curious... if you're a bride now, or when you were...what were some of the things that you thought was the duty of your bridesmaids? After reading that someone wants a cousin to call for RSVPs, and others say "I just wanted them to show up and be comfortable"...
What was your situation?
2007-08-23 03:12:14 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I'm not asking "what are the general duties" i'm asking what YOU expected of your brides...did you want them to call vendors for you, did you have them putting together your invites?
How did you view your bridesmaid?
2007-08-23 03:21:18 · update #1
My bridesmaids did nothing but help pick out the dresses THEY would wear, show up for their fittings, and help decorate a little. In my opinion, bridesmaids shouldn't have to do anything other than look pretty and walk down the aisle. The bride, her family, and a wedding planner do everything else. Mine didn't even help with the invitations because I didn't feel like MY wedding was anyone's responsibility. I haven't been a bridesmaid myself (yet), but I know that if I'm paying for my dress to be in someone else's wedding, I'm sure not going to like it if the bride is bossy and pushes everything off on me (I know someone, though, who did that). So rude.
2007-08-23 04:29:34 · answer #1 · answered by Student Doctor House 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I expected my bridesmaids mostly to show up wearing what they'd been asked to and smile. And since two of them lived on the opposite coastline, that was what those two did.
I did ask another of my bridesmaids to make my wedding gown, which she did for a small fee. It was her wedding present to us, and I presented the idea as such. She was an amazing seamstress and was happy to do it. Had she not wanted to, I'd have found another seamstress to do the work, of course.
My matron of honor was a good general sounding board, and she helped me with a couple tasks (addressing invitations, choosing flowers, went on a last-minute shopping trip with me for the last few things for the buffet...that was really about it), and she did organize a shower for me.
I wanted my bridesmaids to care about the wedding, of course, but as a support system rather than a workforce. A couple other friends volunteered to help out with things like setting up the food, and cleaning the site after my beloved and I left. Most of the rest of the work was done by me, my beloved, and my father.
And at the end of the process, all five bridesmaids still liked me.
That's what I consider a success.
2007-08-23 12:20:04 · answer #2 · answered by gileswench 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I feel bridesmaids should do more than show up for the wedding. If that's all they're going to do, then why have them and make them buy an expensive dress? Let them be guests and enjoy themselves!
I expect them to do the following:
1. Buy their dress
2. Show up the day of the wedding and help out with last minute details and help greet the guests before the ceremony.
3. Comfort me with any wedding day jitters.
But they are throwing me a shower - I never asked them to.
2007-08-23 15:45:40 · answer #3 · answered by Peace 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I expect her to show up at the wedding on time, dressed and smiling, and ready for a great time! I told her she could pick whatever she wanted to wear in whatever color she wanted and I would pay for it (she didn't let me) and she's throwing me a shower (she insisted - I wasn't planning on one). I'm getting married in Vegas next month and I want this as easy as possible.
I've been a BM 13 times and the brides were all extremely easy to deal with - Mostly just be there for her if she wanted to vent, stress, or whatever. I've never had to deal with a bridezilla since my friends aren't like that.
2007-08-23 11:44:13 · answer #4 · answered by bg918 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I wanted thier imput on everything. My sister was a horriable bridesmaid. I was in school during the day and couldn't make the calls to churches for back up location-out door wedding and all you need a back up plan- and she wouldn't do it. But I wanted them to make calls for me and help with picking things out. One maid helped me decide on what type of flowers to have in the bouquets and what type of punch to serve and what 10 invitations were best of out the stack I had to sort thrugh. I wanted their help, and as friends and family too. I did most of the work myself when I had the time, but it was good to have someone to go shop with you when you wanted an opinion. My hubby wanted little to do with planning and that was fine with me, I had bridesmaides!!
2007-08-23 10:47:37 · answer #5 · answered by lisamtracy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I expect my bridesmaids to buy their dresses and shoes. Also, to take care of the Bridal Shower and Bachelorette Party, unless my mother or someone else wanted to.
Other than that I am taking care of the rest. I want their hair a certain way so I am paying for that. As for make-up I bought the color shadow I want them to wear and then they can do the rest. I am going to have a bridesmaid lunchoen for the girls and I am taking care of that.
As for duties, they are helping me put together the favors for the guests, going with me to meetings with venues and others (not all of them at the same time), picking up items, dropping of rental Items after the wedding when my fiance and I are headed to our honeymoon, and last, to help make sure the wedding is as flawless as possible and to enjoy themselves and have fun.
2007-08-23 10:24:54 · answer #6 · answered by Kristin P 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'm having only a matron of honor, and all I want her to do is to be happy for me, and be there to calm me on my wedding day. She wants to host a pre-wedding party (her idea, not mine), and I'm not objecting, but I wouldn't have asked her to. She's picking out her own dress (color and style), shoes, and accessories. I'll ask her to help me be sure my dress and veil are straight before I go up the aisle, and to hold my bouquet during the ceremony. She has volunteered to help make favors and address invitations, but I do not expect that as one of her "duties". All I really want from her is to be there , next to me, to share in my happiness.
2007-08-23 10:23:06 · answer #7 · answered by Trivial One 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
As a bride- to-be all I expect is love, fun and support. Although it is "my wedding day", I want them to have fun, look beautiful and support me on my special day. Look pretty in the dresses. Make sure I'm calm. I'm sure they'll host the bridal shower and help with favors.
2007-08-23 11:11:43 · answer #8 · answered by classystyle03 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm getting married in two months and other than the dresses, I've asked my bridesmaids for zero except their advice and ideas. I just want my best friends and my sister to stand with me and my husband-to-be and feel happy that they're so very important to me.
2007-08-23 10:19:40 · answer #9 · answered by Starry Eyes 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Their duties:
1. Show up for the rehearsal, dinner, and wedding ceremony/reception.
2. Choose their dresses as long as it is within my parameters (blue, mid calf length, the rest is up to them).
3. Walk down/up the aisle.
4. Make sure we all eat/drink prior to walking down the aisle so we don't pass out!
2007-08-23 10:19:06 · answer #10 · answered by Terri 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋