what do you do when people make you feel like you are not important like your family?

Question

It's crazy, I am not being a baby about this but it gets me mad when it comes to my birthday and my family does not make it such a big deal but when it's someone elses birthday like any of my brothers or sisters and my stepmom it's a big deal and i make it my business to be there. i did not even get a phone call from my stepmom not even an email. then to top it all of two days before my bday she called and asked me if i wanted to go out for my bday for dinner and i said yes and she never called again. how should i go about this????? please help

Answer 1

always plan to do something special for yourself even it means doing it by yourself. next time one of your families birthdays comes around-send a card and leave it at that

Answer 2

I find this really sad - even when the rest of the world pisses me off I can always rely on my family to make a fuss of me.

Do you live further away from your family than your brothers and sisters maybe? Or have more friends and see less of your family than the others? It could simply be out of sight, out of mind, because they dont see you every day they dont think to make so much effort.

I would try talking to your family, tell them how you feel about it. I'm sure they'd be surprised to hear you feel that way, and I'm sure there's a good reason, perhaps they assume you see alot of your friends and just aren't as bothered about your family?

If nothing changes once you've spoken to them, try not to take it too personally, and ring them to make arrangements rather than waiting for them to do it

Answer 3

I know what you mean, my family is fairly large but there is a clicky group within it. this group which consists on my mother a couple of cousins, aunts and uncles often get together for BBQs and meals and the invite never gets extended to me. Dispite the fact that I am quite close to one of the cousins involved and have a good relationship with my mother.

It used to bother me now I don't care, it's their loss as far as i'm concerned.

If you want to have a special birthday plan it yourself, you will always find that people friends or family will let you down.

Answer 4

Same thing here. My family will plan dinner out on a birthday for everyone else but even with me asking to do something, everyone "has plans" when it comes to mine. So recently I asked on here if it was acceptable to throw myself a party and you would not believe the overwelming response I got. So this year it will be a dinner out and a movie with friends. I plan to make invitations so everyone knows the restaurant, time and movie. My family will be invited (friends and family intermingle in my family) and if they want to come great and if not, is ok with me.

Answer 5

There is an old saying" it is a good job you can choose your friends because you are stuck with your family".So get lots of friends and enjoy them and do'nt let the family know it bothers you.This way,they make more of a fuss of you if they think you do'nt care!(reverse phsycology) and iff they do'nt then you have your friends to fall back on. Sorry to hear these stories on hear,families are precious but some are sorely lacking in sensitivity sometimes.

Answer 6

MY FAMILY ARE THE SAME AS YOURS..every fuss is made for the others, but i'm always made to feel like i'm not part of it...and today,i just found out that they , my parents have given my sister power of attorney to their estate....no mention of me, or my kids.....so, i'm just totally letting them go from now on, my life will no longer be wasted waiting for these lot to care about me....they never will. i have built my own family, and hope to be a better parent to my kids than the parents i had. put your energies into something else...if i told you half of what these lot had done to me, you wouldn't believe it. good luck xx

Answer 7

Aw I'm sorry that is rubbish of your family.

I guess find some friends and make them your family. If your family let you down you have to realise that it's not really to do with who you are, but with who they are. Put your energy into making your own life exciting and next birthday you will have to say no to your stepmum because you will have so many other birthday plans, to which she will not be invited!

I know it hurts but you must treat yourself kindly and forget their thoughtlessness.

Answer 8

i'm sorry you're feeling let down about this.

i see your birthday is special to you, and that you must be getting the short end of the stick.

perhaps you could get together with friends on your birthday -- let them know it's your birthday and you want to go do something together.

it seems the older we get, the less importance falls on our birthdays... others don't make them as special as WE would like to make their birthdays, if you know what i mean.

do something nice for YOU!! you deserve it.. sending HaPpY BiRthDaY hugs!

Answer 9

you are not being a baby. this is cruel and thoughtless what they are doing. i say one good deed deserves another - in this case, do as they do. let them get a taste of their own medicine. treat their birthdays as they treat yours. you are as important a person as they are and you ALL should be treated alike. try not to let this hurt you and remember it's your birthday - so, YOU go and do something special for yourself. belated happy birthday.

Answer 10

You find people who do value you and make them your priority and not the people who do not value you. Create lasting friendships, work on them as if they were family. You dont say if your married but if you are concentrate on them. If youre not make sure you marry someone who is tender, caring and values you, not someone who ignores you or treats you disrespectfully.