Do you think it's appropriate to have a baby shower for each pregnancy?

Question

I've always been of the opinion that a shower should be given for the first pregnancy, not each & every. I guess I feel it's appropriate if there's a large age gap between the babies. Just wondering how others feel about this.

Answer 1

A shower should only be given for the first pregnancy. It's the mother's responsibility to take care of those items so she can use them for her subsequent children. People usually get a gift for the baby when he or she is born anyway. It is rude to throw a party and expect people to finance a child's life.

Answer 2

I disagree, I think having a formal shower, inviting everybody you know for each child is not the thing to do. Old ettiquette rules were each Mommy- to- be got one shower, only for the first child, unless there were special circumstances, and that was it. The idea was to give a brand new Mommy some help, and it was assumed that a young couple were not yet established in a household, and had had no opportunity to feather a nest with money yet, and would need all the help they could get, financial, and in advice and presents. A second shower was deemed not necessary, the Mommy was not so new, more experienced. And she still had all the stuff from the first child. and there had been time to get finances in better shape.
Don't think the old rules didn't give Mommy a chance to get presents, a birth announcement was sent out, and people sent gifts when they recieved it.
People do send gifts to subsequent babies, even if a shower is not given, especially close family and friends. An announcement is sent for those babies, too.
Here is an example of an exception: my friend's daughter was pregnant with twins. She had been on bedrest for months, and had not worked. Her husband had been layed off, but was working then. They had an older child by 4-5 years. The invited were church people, close friends, and immediate family., and it was the mother- in -laws first grandchild that was of her own blood [the grandchild by another father was accepted as hers, she loves the child].
Sorry, I like the old ways. This "have as many parties as posible so presents can be acquired" is too much. Multiple showers for each baby, then the birth announcement comes, then everybody is invited to the christening ceremony, and of course, now the mother has to have a present for giving birth, and don't be un-politically correct and forget the father!
And while I am at it, the christening ceremony has got out of hand, too. Used to be, the godparents, the grandparents, the parents, maybe some very close relatives were invited, and gifts were religious themed, or for the future gifts were given. As I see here, not anymore! The parents entire family, co-workers, friends, neighbors are invited. The sigificance of the event has been lost, all it is now is yet another greedy gimmy event.
And one more thing, I am really tired of being told what I should get for a present. It is usually a request for money instead of a gift. I really think it is demeaning to the child to ask for money for a present, and go spend it on something for the parents. Saw one for a money for a one-year-old. You know that Daddy was going to take the money and go buy a big screen tv to watch football on, and so do I! Using a child for ill gotten gains is horrible! And what is a one year old gonna do with it, nothing!
Oh, well, I'm mostly done with it all, my close friends all have all the grandkids they are going to get.

Answer 3

Traditionally, a shower for the first child was it - unless there was a surprise pregnancy 20 years later or something. But these days, as soon as somebody gets pregnant, no matter if it's number 2 or number 6, everyone always wants to know "oh, when is the baby shower?". I see this all the time - right or wrong, this is one of those things that time has really changed.

I didn't have a shower the second time, even though mine were 12 years apart - I didn't really want one. But it doesn't really bother me to attend second and third baby showers. I just try to be a little more selective about the gift. I don't think large items like cribs and strollers should be expected after the first one, just maybe practical things like clothing, diapers, toiletries, and gift cards.

Answer 4

Etiquette does seem to imply that showers are only for the first children; however, I believe changes in society may provide us with reason to review those former rules and make adaptations where fitting. In years gone by, parents used cloth diapers (not disposable), glass bottles (which other than the possibility of breakage were much more reliable than plastic, which breaks down over time and can provide a breeding ground for bacteria), and many other baby items that were just as appropriate for the 5th or 6th pregnancy as for the first. Also, in those days, we were a society of "keepers," of people who stored their items away for future needs. In today's society, many women may give away their baby furniture and other items to another mother in need, thinking that she has no plans for future children, only to have an unexpected (even if welcomed) pregnancy. Personally, I've always thought the concept of a single baby shower for the first baby was a little antiquated, as it seems we are celebrating the mother's fertililty rather than the birth of a new baby.

Answer 5

I tend to think that one baby shower per family is plenty. More than that, and I think it starts to wear out the good will of the givers. For example - I just gave some rather pricey baby clothes for a co-worker's shower -- no prob. But if she immediately got pregnant with a second, and I got tapped for ANOTHER shower, I'd be thinking --um, does the newborn REALLY need brand new clothes? Will she really know that her older sib wore the prior gift a couple of times? Are the parents really burdened by having an infant wear its sib's hand-me-downs?

On the other hand, I do agree that the age gap presents an unusual circumstance -- if the gap is long enough that the parents disposed of all the prior baby stuff, it's as if they were starting over.

Answer 6

I think there should be a shower for each pregnancy, as long as the time between them are appropriate. I mean, my sisters' kids aren't a year apart(she got one shower). And if you're on your 8th kid, NO, you don't need a shower, you need BC. But if there's been a good gap between the babies, then sure.

Answer 7

I feel it is absolutely appropriate! What if the mom is having an opposite sex baby? Or the first baby was born in the summer and the second is due in winter? And what makes the first child so much more special than the next children? Even if the pregnancies are close together there are still things the mother could use diapers, powder, blankets or clothes special to the new child. And who is to decide what age gap is large enough? In my opinion each baby is special and deserves a special party of their own. Besides if the mom REALLY truly says she doesn't need anything then it is just a great opportunity to gather and rejoice the new life with family & friends.

Answer 8

A baby shower for each pregnancy sounds very appropriate to me.

Answer 9

I to think that it should be for the First baby. It is to get the mom to be ready for the birth of her baby, but after the first one she knows what is going on and what she will need. My sister had 5 kids and there was no way in hadies that I was going to throw her 5 different baby showers. I do how ever know women that have one for each child, and i think that it was very distasteful. I do kinda get where you are coming from if the first baby and second baby are like 10 years apart, then MAYBE she can have another one.

Answer 10

A shower should be a celebration of the baby, not just an excuse to rake in presents.

So if the friends of the mother want to celebrate the baby, go ahead! If the friends who attend subsequent shower (or any shower for that matter) want to bring just a small gift, then that is fine, too.