My cousin is getting married September 1. She keeps asking me to contact various relatives (HUGE family) to see if they're coming and how many - because they haven't RSVPed yet.
I honestly do not have the time (or energy because she has been such a Bridezilla) to contact these people.
Can I tell her politely, "Please contact them yourself."??
2007-08-23 02:51:47 · 13 answers · asked by tony 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
i am a candlelighter in the wedding.
2007-08-23 03:11:52 · update #1
I think part of why I'm reluctant to do it is because I can't imagine asking other people to help me track down RSVPs! My husband and I did it all ourselves!!
2007-08-23 03:15:31 · update #2
Wow! You can't be generous and HELP? I would hate to have you as a cousin. I had about 50 families not RSVP. I could NEVER have tracked them all down myself. Like everyone else, I am busy. But by breaking it down and having several people make only a few calls, we were able to get a few more responses.
Don't be so selfish. Just tell her to give you a list that you CAN handle, like 5-10 people.
Perhaps she is asking you to help with some of your relatives because you KNOW them too and may have phone numbers that she or other bridesmaids don't have. Whatever the reason... people outside of the bridal party CAN lend a helping hand. Remeber the movie Pay It Forward?
2007-08-23 07:35:26 · answer #1 · answered by Proud Momma 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are a bridesmaid then yes you should help her out, its very stressful tracking people down at the last minute and I'm sure she will appreciate it(even if its not shown until after when she returns to her normal self)
If you arent a bridesmaid then its not expected, but it sure would be nice of you to help her out. If you're not married you have no idea what this is like and you may run into the same problem when you do marry, if you help her she will most definitely help you when its your turn, and if you are married, think back to 2 weeks before your wedding, how stressed were you that all your plans would come together properly and try to muster up some sympathy for her even if she hasnt been the nicest bride. I would do it for her.
2007-08-23 10:10:48 · answer #2 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your cousin is a "bridezilla" because she's not a very organized bride. Give her a little help. It will take you less than an hour to make a few calls and/or leave messages for those lacking the manners to RSVP. Some day you might need someone to help you with your wedding arrangements.
2007-08-26 23:49:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, I was told by my Rev. to have the bridal party make calls to every one the Monday before the wedding make sure they were still coming or coming at all. Why? (because people will feel as thought they have to say Yes to the bride or groom it puts them on the spot) To were if you call to say hi and see if you be seeing them at the wedding they don't feel obligated and will tell you truthfully if they are or not and if there bring any "extra guest". I understand you dont want to because she been not so nice but you are in the bridal party you said yes and think you only have to deal with this for a little bit longer and then it all will over. Hoped I helped , Good Luck to you it is only a few more weeks or days away.
2007-08-23 14:52:49 · answer #4 · answered by typicalcagirl 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The polite way to refuse is to say: "I'm terribly sorry, but I really can't just now."
Don't accuse, don't give further reasons that she can try to reason you out of...just lather, rinse, repeat. Imagine yourself as a very polite brick wall.
If the bride and groom feel there are too many people to contact by themselves, then the list ought to be divided up among them, parents, bridesmaids, and finally groomsmen. Candlelighters are not usually required to track down missing response cards.
2007-08-23 12:07:14 · answer #5 · answered by gileswench 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think that she should have asked a bridesmaid to do this for her, or better yet her future husband. It is stressful to be the bride, you do so much all by yourself with very little help from the future husband.
While I think the bride should have asked one of her bridesmaids, it would be a nice gesture of you to help her out. Maybe you can get together with a few bridesmaids and make an evening out of it. Get some wine and make the phone calls :)
2007-08-23 10:18:55 · answer #6 · answered by ambam 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
of course you can. this is her wedding and its up to her to take care of things like that. are you in the wedding at all? if so then telling her no might cause some problems. if not then you have no obligation to do anything for her. I get so sick of hearing brides trying to pin their own duties on other people. I wouldnt have dreamed of asking other people to do things liek that for me at my wedding. my mom and dad helped me with the planning and my wedding party had nothing to do but show up.
2007-08-23 09:59:44 · answer #7 · answered by Jenn ♥Cadence Jade's mum♥ 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think she needs some extra help with everythign else she has on her plate. u should help her out, shes prolly stressing with everything else going on and paying for people who arent or are attending. she doesnt want to waste money and be able to give the cterer a final head count. help hr track down ur relatives, then u can be abridezilla when u get married and have her repay the favor.
2007-08-23 10:44:11 · answer #8 · answered by spadezgurl22 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well, if the RSVP date has come and gone, and you are in the wedding party, you SHOULD start calling people up.
However if you are not in the wedding party you can tell her that you are way too busy to make phone calls.
2007-08-23 09:58:28 · answer #9 · answered by Terri 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think it is in poor taste and would not lower myself to call people to see if they are coming to my wedding because they did not have the courtesy to send the RSVP card I provided along with the envelope and stamp.
If they do not respond take it as a no. She is better of making that known to the family as if they are going they will send in the card in order to have a seat.
2007-08-23 11:24:12 · answer #10 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 4⤋