I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years and living with him for 1. Ok my boyfriend has 3 really close friends. When I started dating him they did not have any girlfriends, actually when I moved in with him last August they did not have girlfriends. Now one got engaged in May but she already had a house. Now the other close friend proposed last night, they have not even been dating a year and just moved in together the beginning of this month. I am like what about me, me and my boyfriend have been dating 3 years. I feel he was going to propose soon, but now it is like competetion and no real suprise anymore, all of us will probably have our weddings next year so that sucks, but they are older than me.
2007-08-23 02:45:38 · 13 answers · asked by Kelsy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
We have talked about it and were planning on getting engaged but now it is like all my friends are doing it why not him too. SUCKS. I wanted to have the wedding next year but the other two are now.
2007-08-23 03:18:20 · update #1
I guess I can only dream now.
2007-08-23 04:24:54 · update #2
I guess you are just a little taken aback that all of these people are engaged and planning when you are not, which I can totally understand. It gets annoying when everyone around you is getting engaged and keeps on asking you when you will get engaged like you have control over it. Take their engagements, wedding planning etc all into account so that when it is your turn you know exactly what you want and don't want. Hang in there, you're not alone!
2007-08-23 10:22:02 · answer #1 · answered by Annie Girl 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with greeneyes. You don't mention it, but it doesn't sound as though any of his friends lived with their girlfriends.
I'm not making a judgement as to whether living together before marriage is right or wrong. I have, however, seen this situation repeated over and over and over again - couples move in together, with her thinking it's a trial before the engagement. The engagement never comes, because he's comfortable, and doesn't want to change things. (Mom WAS right after all with the whole cow/milk thing!).
That notwithstanding, you can't compare other peoples' relationships. It's not a race, it's not a contest....it's a MARRIAGE - a rest of your life commitment.
2007-08-23 11:08:18 · answer #2 · answered by sylvia 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Have you and your b/f even TALKED about marriage?
Just because his friends are now engaged does not mean he wants to rush the relationship like they have. If you are happy together and love each other, don't worry about how long his friends were dating and are now engaged.
Talk to him, but do NOT pressure him.
Edit: Maybe he wants to WAIT until the excitement of the other two friends' weddings die down before proposing? Maybe he doesn't want to look like a sheep since his other friends have asked first? Maybe he doesn't want to look like he proposed because people will think he was pressured into it?? Maybe he will ask you soon!
Don't make it a competition.
2007-08-23 09:51:44 · answer #3 · answered by Terri 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
What's your question?
First of all, there's no rule that says you have to get engaged after three years... there is no competition aside from the one that you're making up in your mind... why not just take it as there's a good chance of you having a better marriage because you've known each other longer and have a more mature (although after this question....?) relationship.
Don't worry about your "wedding next year" because your boyfriend did not propose...wait until it happens...and don't worry about it anyway.
2007-08-23 09:51:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 1⤋
Well. You cannot begin to plan your wedding if you do'nt even know if he will ask you to marry him.
Have you guys discussed marriage before? I know how it feels when all you rfriends are getting engaged...you cannot help but wonder, When is it my turn?
Decide if the 3 years you've b een together are worth continuing. You could also let him know in a non-mean way that you would like to marry him someday.
Do not spend your life waiting for him to ask you.
2007-08-23 10:50:11 · answer #5 · answered by Mimi 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Stop comparing yourself to other people. Everyone and every relationhip is different. Make your decisions based only on your own needs.
I have known my husband for over 15 years before we got married. Our changinging relationship and our individual experiences are what made us a great pair. If we had rushed to beat some sort of clock, our relationship may not have been as good.
2007-08-23 10:03:23 · answer #6 · answered by Proud Momma 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand the problem here. Who cares if other people get engaged before you, even if you have been dating longer.
Getting married is not a race. Be patient.
EDIT: How funny, reading your earlier questions you write about your boyfriend wanting you to pick out a ring, you wanting to have two bridal showers, choosing a date....were you lying then or now?
2007-08-23 09:51:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋
Is this a potential marriage, or a competition?? What is your real motivation, getting married to the man you love, or showing up your other friends?
Honey, I think you need to get your priorities straight. You don't "plan to get engaged". You ask your boyfriend to marry you...or he asks you to marry him...then you "plan to get MARRIED". And you don't base these Permanent, LIFELONG COMMITMENTS on what John Doe next door is doing.
2007-08-23 11:42:45 · answer #8 · answered by Kat 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
dont feel bad. I know exactly what you're going through. My boyfriend and I have been together 4 years in Dec. and i want a ring on my finger so bad i cant stand it! and we even have a child together! some guys are just terrified of commitment and it's something you either gotta talk to him about or deal with it. He'll ask when and if he ever feels like he's ready.
2007-08-23 09:56:53 · answer #9 · answered by *DiZzLe* 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Sorry, but keep dreaming. If he didn't ask you after two years of dating, he's just enjoying the benefits of you two shacking up.
2007-08-23 18:10:35 · answer #10 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋