My sister, and MOH of course seems like she doesn't want to help with anything. If i ask her opinon on anything.. she says.. whatever you want. My fiance can't even think of someone to be his best man (thinking about his dad) or groomsmen. So I'm thinking just not having a bridal party b/c everyone is so uninvolved. Is this a bad idea that i would regret?
2007-08-23 02:37:08 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
He knows his friends are unreliable and doesn't want them screwing it up. That's why he's having a hard time deciding. His brother despises wedding and won't wanna participate.
2007-08-23 02:49:27 · update #1
I'm debating on asking my sis Bf to stand in and make it even, but who knows if they'll be together 9 mo. from now? AHHH!
2007-08-23 02:50:16 · update #2
We didnt' have an official bridal party when we got married last November... we personally loved it. I asked my closest friends and sister-in-laws to wear little black dresses, and our brothers wore tuxes and served as ushers.
It was a LOT less drama.
My future mother-in-law threw me a shower and my grandma (two different towns)...
Here's a picture of the ceremony-- very intimate.
My little brother just got married this last July and they liked how our non-bridal party went so well that they decided to scratch it for their wedding too.
You can use a sweetheart table for the reception (rather than a head table) -- and no one is resentful of buying a dress they'll probably never wear again.
Good luck!
2007-08-23 04:34:56 · answer #1 · answered by mj 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's an entirely personal decision. Some people don't have attendants and do just fine. And while it's traditional to haver your attendants sign your marriage license, any two legal adults who attend the ceremony may do the honors.
Once you've asked someone to be your MOH, though, I think it would be pretty rude to simply announce that you've decided not to have attendants after all. Even if your sister isn't terribly involved, she may be insulted if you go to her and say you don't want her to be your bridesmaid.
What you might do instead, since she's so uninvolved, is have a talk with her and ask her if she really wants to be your MOH. Let her know you want her to be absolutely honest with you one way or the other, and won't be offended if the answer is no.
Then if she says she'd really rather not do it, you have a perfectly polite way of scrapping the wedding party. If she says yes, then have a chat with her about expectations. If she's going to be your bridesmaid, she needs to know her opinion and support are needed.
2007-08-23 11:59:44 · answer #2 · answered by gileswench 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing at all wrong with not having bridesmaids and groomsmen. In fact, not having them can seriously cut down on your stress level! As long as you have a friend or family member to help you get ready, you're fine.We're not having attendants at our wedding. It's a small-ish wedding, and although we have plenty of good friends where we live, our closest friends whom we would want for attendants live very far away and may not be able to come to the wedding. So...to make things easier, we decided to forego the bridal party.
2007-08-23 12:48:20 · answer #3 · answered by SE 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think it's a huge deal not to have a bridal party. I do, however, have to ask you this...are YOU the reason your sister doesn't want to voice her opinion? I only ask because I have that situation going on right now with my two daughters. The one who's getting married has "gone off" on both her sister (MOH) and myself without provocation. When someone has no problem going ballistic on you it's kinda difficult to want to do things for them. She thought I was being negative when discussing photographers. I never raised my voice, I THOUGHT we were having a discussion/conversation and before I knew it she was furious and getting louder and louder. I still didn't raise my voice and even told her she was mistook whatever it was I said, but, to no avail. I decided right there and then I from now on I will respond "whatever you want is good with me. Just let me run the money part by your Father and make sure it works for us" We still have over a year to deal with this!
So, although I don't think you'd regret NOT having a bridal party, before you do make sure your not the reason for your sister's lack of interest. Have a GREAT wedding and a long, happy marriage!
2007-08-23 09:59:52 · answer #4 · answered by N0_white_flag 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Dear (future)Mrs.Silac,
There is no need to scrap the bridal party at all.Again such a occasion comes on only once in life time.Prepare a joyous
tempo for such a unique day.Try to keep everyone happy facing such a situation with a smiling face.Think positive and
you will win bringing smile on the faces of all your loved ones.
In India preparations for such a joyous occasion are made days,sometimes months in advance.Study situations to find
solutions.Impossible can be made possible if you are mentally prepared and decided.
With best regards,
Damodar B.
2007-08-23 11:16:21 · answer #5 · answered by Damodar B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My fiance couldn't really find any groomsmen, but I had already found 4 bridesmaids. We ended up using my brother and my nephew for his groomsmen and he asked a cousin and a friend. but nobody is really helping us. 2 of my bridesmaids live 12 hours away, one is my sister in law who never asks me about the wedding. it was kinda frustrating at first, but then you have to remember, nobody is going to care as much about your wedding as you are. so keep your bridal party, they still love you and they'll be there for you on your day, even if they're not really there now.
2007-08-23 09:44:10 · answer #6 · answered by bride to be 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Relax. All of this is normal. Your sister is she young? If not then make sure that everything in her life is ok. and then talk to her as a sister (not a bride to be) and find out what's going on and see what she wants to be involved in. I think having the father as the best man is an awesome idea. Just know that you are the one with this vision in your head of how you want your day to be, so you will need to make it happen that way, don't get angry with others when they aren't sure as to what's the best thing for you and your hubby to be. Good luck and don't forget to breathe.. and remember if you can make it through planning a wedding... marriage will be a breeze!
2007-08-23 09:44:03 · answer #7 · answered by Shelly C 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
well, if you dont want a wedding party then thats not a big deal, but dont scrap it becuase you say everyone is so uninvolved. this is your wedding and its up to you to plan it. you sister is probably saying to go with whatever you want becuase she doesnt want to be responsible for helping you make a decision you later arent happy with or maybe the style wedding you want is nothing like what she wants and she doesnt care for any of the things you want. as for not being able to rely on your fiances friends...I suggest he starts making some new friends if he doesnt even have one he could ask to be in the wedding.
2007-08-23 09:55:06 · answer #8 · answered by Jenn ♥Cadence Jade's mum♥ 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Screw up what? Not help with what? The bridal party stands beside you at the ceremony and stands around getting their pictures taken all day. People are expecting too much from them these days. They aren't wedding planners. If you need help, opinions or advice go to them, not your bridal party. Their role is the day of the wedding. Not the year before!
2007-08-23 16:08:55 · answer #9 · answered by Luv2Answer 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you should make the decision based on how you feel. the moh should be someone who wants to help make this the best first day of the rest of your life. it may hurt your sister's feelings, but if she is not geared up for the job then you may consider someone else.... as far as regretting it?? if you decide to not have a wedding party what kind of wedding would you like to have? make it special to you and all involved... that is all that counts....
2007-08-23 09:46:10 · answer #10 · answered by Jeanette 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋