I become cold towards him n did not want to be bothered with what's happening to him. Am I punishing myself? or being just plain stupid to do this.
2007-08-22 23:06:55 · 21 answers · asked by candie 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It happens to every one, when the person whom we trust and love give up we feel the sky is down. and we start to punish ourself.
but come out of it as early as possible, because you have a precious life, and you need not waste it.
but then these are the times when friends come handy, you friends should come up and help you, support you, an emotional support is necessary.
wishing you to have a happy life. - I say this because i am your friend..on yahoo
2007-08-22 23:18:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like the wall has always been there a bit.
Now it has been reinforced.
Part of marriage is the promise of fidelity. For the guys that line is drawn before the physical. Many women consider all female contact some sort of cheating. I think that is a stretch.
The definitions do become blurred but there is one truth it hurts.
There is no promise in marriage or life for that matter, that we won't get hurt. It is how we react to that that defines us.
Your wall is not punishing him only reinforcing his desire to connect with someone. So in a way you are punishing yourself. It that wall which will prohibit either of you from getting back to marriage as well.
I think you may need to take the chance that you may get hurt again. Assuming you do not the benefit can be tremendous. If you do get hurt again you will know that its time to leave.
From this distance it looks like your defenses have been up for a while anyway.
Either way your "wall" is delaying progress. Don't let it be the reason for the breakup.
2007-08-23 07:23:10 · answer #2 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes its very difficult to forget/accept being hurt by your loved ones but if you still treasure your marriage and want to stay married, you should try to forgive and forget. Do not build a wall around you otherwise you are pushing him to the arms of another person.
Give him a chance to make amends towards you and hope to hear the good news from you soon.
Take care and good luck
2007-08-25 11:50:34 · answer #3 · answered by Charlyn Lim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
marriage is a life long commitment and so to the kids too!
mistakes are made thru the life long partnership, be it big or small. by having a cold war...more harm than good will come to the marriage and affecting the family.
its better to talk over things and if its too big and serious to be forgotten and forgiven...it would be better to make a decision "to make or break" and thus not wasting each another's time especially the woman's.
in a couple....communication must be active and on going if were to keep the love and relationship warm. "silence is golden " as said but never in a relationship for long periods of time!
rememeber nothing in a relationship is too hard to solve but it just takes a decison to it!
2007-08-23 06:48:45 · answer #4 · answered by coffee_tea_or 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i feel u sister i've been there but let me tell something building a wall around u won't help,u can't waste your time over someone who didn't deserve u,we don't always have things the way we want no matter how well u execute ur plan,u will encounter complications along the way but if u want to persevere in the faces of challenges and be happy remain positive no matter the circumstances.Never put ur life and happiness on hold because of someone no matter who they are.Stay strong sister and move on,there is always a light at the end of the tunnel so go to that light =,DON'T STAY IN THE DARK,IT'S NOT WORTHY OF U!!!
2007-08-23 06:26:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
This wall once built up, it wont be remove so easily. You need a lot of time to remove it by the help of your husband. Only he got the power to remove them cause even if you in love another man, your defect wall still up cause you cant trust man anymore.
2007-08-26 02:58:13 · answer #6 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is the case, don't you think that it is just like two strangers staying under one roof. It won't make things works but it makes thing worse instead. Why don't you have a good talk with him. Maybe things will turn better. if you think that things won't work out well, then I suggest you better considered if there is a point to maintain this relationship.
2007-08-23 09:55:19 · answer #7 · answered by Clown & Joker 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That wall is holding you prisoner, isn't it? Set yourself free. Communicate and forgive. It is hard, but don't make yourself and your marriage sick because of a grudge. To forgive is divine. You do it for YOU, not the other person. Let go. I know you are hurt, my husband p!$sed me off soooo bad yesterday, but I have to tell him, forgive him and move on. Free yourself girlie! ( by forgiving )
2007-08-23 06:44:09 · answer #8 · answered by Sleek 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you're going to be that cold towards him you may as well build a roof to go with the walls.
Just forgive him for his foolishness (whatever that was) and make up.
2007-08-23 06:14:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Thats not a good thing bad thing happens to marriages when you guys start building walls
2007-08-23 06:11:58 · answer #10 · answered by Mindi 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋