How to deal with this?

Question

This girl at my gym will still pass by me,at times want my attention gaze at me etc......We have been rude and abrasive to each other in the past(her being iranian and me being asian which i guess resukted in racial incidents) and i have apoligized to her numerous times.Today she smiled warmly at me(i apoligized again to day)even if she didn't talk to me much and said she would see me next time.What do i make of her behavior?

Answer 1

if you want to get to know her...start being polite and continue doing so...she will let you know...at this time it sounds like it may be too early to decide what is going on as you said you were rude to each other previously...it may just be that she wants things not to be confrontive...or she could want more...give it time.

Answer 2

"I guess resulted in racial incidents" Hmmmmm

Lets look at your behavior

It sounds like your demanding her forgiveness which would indicate that you have not changed your thinking about your behavior. If I understand your history with this girl there has been verbal abuse. Now like an abusive person you might be looking for a special love hidden there. If you have been abused or raised by abusive parenting then your definition of love might be fight but we really love/like each other."not a healthy example"

If you have had an abusive environment get some counseling and re track yourself to understand that abuse is not secretly hidden love.

On the other hand don't look for others to tell you what someone else is thinking or feeling. Be confident enough in yourself to ask or move forward in the direction of what you feel and think.
If she doesn't feel the same you will learn about acceptance. If she does you may enjoy some nice times together. Save yourself some agony and don't jump to conclusion about things. If I were to write I think she likes you would that give you permission to persue her??? It shouldn't!!

If you like her and want to persue her go forward slowly.
Part of growing up is not just getting older in chronological age but it is learning from past experiences, observing your behavior and making adjustments in the direction of a healthy
emotionally mature person.

I don't know what you meant by racial incidents but -She is not required to forgive you. You are required to accept responsibility for your behavior and forgive yourself.
Know yourself and always make your choices from within you not from what other people tell you or from what you try and get other people to tell you.
"To thine own self be true"

My very best wishes to you.

Answer 3

i think that she has accepted yur apoligy and has up it behind her. if she smiles at you that mean that she is willing to be your friend and maby more. Talk to her about it and ask her how she fells and if you want to ask her out for a drink. The worst she can say is no right?

go for it. you'll never know till you have tried..

Answer 4

dont fall in the trap..........Girls' relationship with guys is a bigger mystery than girls themselves.

It's not just about boyfriends, we're talking about guy friends that gals have.

Do you have a gal who is just a friend? Are confused why the frequency of calls increases as exams loom closer? Or why she always hangs around with the moron who isn't fit to wear Jeetendra's white shoes? Here's a ready reckoner for you:

% just a friend %

Well, you are like a show piece in my house. I will call you whenever I need you. If you call me home the chances are 9 out of 10 times she might say, "Oh Rahul, I am going out can you call me after 2 days??"

Rahul: "Where are you going Shilpa??"

Shilpa: "None of your business" and bangs the phone.(Useless fellow.Hmmph!).

% Good Friend %

You are like a TV remote control. I need you and I know that. But I try using you when I really need you.

Rahul calls: "Hi Shilpa",

Shilpa: "Hi Rahul. I am going out with family I will call you back. Bye"

(Shilpa calls back after two days)

Shilpa: "What do you want Rahul? Why did you call that day?".

Rahul: "Generally".

Shilpa: "Oh ok. I got to go out. Will call you later. Bye."

Will call when she needs lecture notes or some concert tickets.
********

% Very good friend %

Well you are like the pressure cooker safety value for the girl.

She will need you when she wants to bring out her pain or anger on someone.

Basically, she wants to talk to you. And you are special to her.

Shilpa: "You know Rahul, Shekhar is not eating. He doesn't sleep and is not able to concentrate on his studies. I think he doesn't like me anymore. And yesterday I saw him with another girl".

Rahul: "Who is Shekhar??"

Shilpa : "My boyfriend."

Rahul: Oh! Ok. :-(
********

% Best Friend %


You are like the auto rickshaw driver. She can't live without you.

And don't be mistaken. You are not her boyfriend. But you are allowed to take her little doggie around the park so that he (not you!) can have fun.


Rahul Shopping. Rahul Movie. Rahul Coffee. Rahul,you pay. I am having fun.

Rahul is now sure that he should go ahead and propose. He dares.

Shilpa: "But I thought we were just friends. We should remain friends

Rahul. Plus, I have a boy friend you know that."

Rahul: What?? (Rahul drinks all night).
********

% Best of the Bestest Friends %


Ok now you are really special.

You are dad-***-boyfriend-***-brother-***-everything.

Ultimately you are the darling servant of the girl.

You take her around.

You make her project.

You do her assignments.

You are allowed to take her doggie around.

You can hold hands on the beach.

You can see the sun set with her (because she wants to do everything she drags you along).

But but but... Don't be mistaken. She has a boyfriend who works for a huge software company and earns 3 times the salary you earn and has a flat in PoesGardenor Boat Club or Hiranandani area.

Shilpa: "Hi Rahul. I am getting engaged to Shekhar. Shekhar this is Rahul, he is my bestest friend".

Rahul: Hi Shekhar . (Hand shake. Shekhar breaks Rahul's wrist).

Rahul is now heart broken and wrist broken.
********

% Boyfriend %


Uh... No comments dude. You're already Gone!
********

Now ~ where you stand?

Answer 5

Wow is she holding a grudge against you and wants to make you sweat! Hey sweat and you are in a gym, that's a funny pun! LOL
Seriously she seems to want you to suffer, she does not want to accept your apology. Maybe because in her country she wouldn't be treated like that, apologized to?

Answer 6

There sneaky the Iranians. Watch your back.

Answer 7

you have asked several versions of this question in the last few days.

Please tell us the answer you are looking for.

Answer 8

she smiles at you huh? she's totally inlove with you

Answer 9

she wants your body,go for it

Answer 10

Yes looks good for you,,,,,