I am 27 and she is 18, we got married 3 months ago, she is my uncle's daughter, bcos of some family problems i have married her, but i feel she is not enough matured in understanding my love or she is scared, i am confused, i love her a lot...please give me some guidance to get her love.
2007-08-22 20:59:44 · 21 answers · asked by Vinny 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i would say ....give her some time and have patience. she will understand your love. as u have told u had to marry her out of some family problems, its gonna take her some time to come out of it.
dont try for any short cuts or quick fixes. she will start loving you, you give her unconditional love. dont expect anything back from her for the time being.
2007-08-23 01:04:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To an 18 year old girl - 27 is pretty 'mature'.
She could be a little bit intimidated by you. And did she REALLY want to be married? Did she have a lot of say on the matter?
God only knows what sort of family problems can be sorted out by marrying someone. But if you say so - we have to work with that.
I can only assume that she is frightened, alone and worried.
Was she a virgin? Is it the physical side of marriage that is scaring her?
The only thing that I can tell you is that the best way to get anyone to likelove you is kindness, patience and friendship.
Try to become her friend before you insist on being her husband. Become the one that she wants to talk to about her feelings. Make sure that it is you that she turns to for comfort and strength. Sepearate love and sex. Show her that your love for her is not based on sex - show her that you respect her.
Give her chance to grow into a woman before she has to be a wife.
If you love her as you say - you will wait.
Good luck - and just be gentle.
2007-08-23 04:13:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Geesh.........you should of said NO NO NO to the family.
I can't imagine an American family doing this. You must be from another country.
wow. poor girl.
You can annul the marriage.
If you want her to learn to love. Treat her like your best friend. Don't force sex or any kind of imtimacy. Huging is ok
Then date her. Take her to dinner & a movie. Ask her about her interests and hobbies. Help her get some outside interests.
Pay a lot of an attention to her. Make her feel special, but also let her have individual personality.
Be patient with her, she is very young.
I reallly feel sorry for her.
This should not be happening in this day and age.
2007-08-23 05:10:09 · answer #3 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is only 18; she need to be able to have fun without feeling the pressure and responsibility of marriage. She need to experience all the things she feels she has missed out on.
Several times a month take her out to a nice dinner and dancing. Once or twice a month invite some guys and girls (more guys than girls) near her age for a house party for drinks and dancing. Let her know that you want her to have fun and she is free to dance with the other guys. While she is having a few drinks and dancing, you and several of the guys can be in another room playing poker. Plan on losing just enough ($20 to $50) so they will want to keep playing.
On Saturday nighs while you stay home, encourage her to have a girls' night out at a club and then a sleep over with one or more of her girl friends. Whatever happens, happens. Let her know you have complete trust in her and don't ask. She will love you for giving her freedom. In six months or so she will settle down and be a good wife. She will lose interest in the parties and the girls' night out, and will choose to do things with just you.
2007-08-23 04:51:37 · answer #4 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't just get somebodies love. She either has those sort of feelings or she doesn't. What you can do to help is demonstrate that you are a great guy. Put her feelings and needs above all others. Be a provider, lover , friend and confidant. Hope for the best and give yalls marriage a chance to work. But if it doesn't work out love her enough to let her go. good luck
2007-08-23 04:14:50 · answer #5 · answered by Susan P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you cannot force somebody to love you..You have to work at it. Give her time,she married her cousin. maybe she could be resentful for being forced into the marriage. You have to be understanding and don't put undue pressure on her. She's only 18. You try to get to know her..find ways how to please her.Be her friend first. Sooner or later, she'll get to see how a nice man you are, then maybe she'll start loving you & realize that being married to you isn't such a bad idea after all.
2007-08-23 04:18:32 · answer #6 · answered by Janedy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
According to the information provided by you, she is scared now and making love at this time will not be successful. If you truly love her and want her, you have to wait for her to mature and understand what is "love" (physical). If you force youself up will end up in more problem and she fears wheneve she sees you.
It is best to wait till she turn 20 or 21. By that time she will understand what is "love" (physical) and she will open up her willingness for you. By the time, you just try to spend more time with her and be very very friendly. Take her out and have healthy shopping and go out for leisure trip with her........ These are very essential for keeping fear away with you so that matter can happen as fast as it can.
2007-08-23 07:51:45 · answer #7 · answered by Shinoj Kumar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is good question. It is important to every one's life.
If ur wife is loving u you will get everything in the life.
if family is good u can achieve anything in the world.
if yr. home is peace in the world everything will be
peace. U please praise ur wife always. U see ur wife and
say u are so beautiful. Today u are looking very beautiful.
While she serves food u taste the food and praise immediately ahh waht a wonderful food u cooked. like
this food very much. I am very much happy. While returning
home u perchase some sweet and give. U say to her
specialy I purchased for u. U always give imporatnt to
every action of her she the difference she will be in ur
heart and u will be in her heart. U will forget the world.
I bless both of u to be happy.
2007-08-23 07:09:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get over the feeling that you have to "Make" her love you. You need to treat her kindly and gently and be very understanding. Yes, she's probably not mature enough for you, but if you can communicate you're half way there. If you can do so, marriage counseling may be the answer for you.
2007-08-23 04:17:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this sounds weird, like incest, uncles daughter? Hello can you say kissing cousins? Anyway, best way to attract her love is to let her be herself, don't be overly affectionate if she doen't want it, don't obsess over her, dont pick fights. Do be romantic, bring her flowers or sing her a song, but don't be a sap. Do things together that you both like to do. When all else fells, see a marriage counseler. Hope it helps, good luck!
2007-08-23 04:11:48 · answer #10 · answered by lili m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋