Have those who fear to love for fear of loss ...?

Question

Not lost enough to learn?
OR
Lost the will to live?

Answer 1

Perhaps I can phrase this from my perception of your question. I would "assume" those who fear to love for fear of loss surely must have experienced loss, fear it, for they have learned nothing from it. (I'm not referring to a broken relationship, as most mature people would cope easily.) The greatest learning experience is "loss" from another's death. Here, there is a choice. This "loss" is most commonly a self oriented tragedy, I don't have them, I miss them & so on. I, I, I. I am the victim.
One truly loved is never "lost." Value what was shared, keep your smiling memories, accept. That is another choice.
Personally, I can't comprehend "lost the will to live." However one is loved, to be fixated on ONE, & diminish all other things in one's life is unhealthy.
There are also people who have never loved; their perception of "loss" is based not on their experience, but a preconceived concept of "hurt," & perhaps it's best for those, NOT to love--if one loves with apprehensions of risk, I don't believe this could be "love" at all. FEAR is not a companion of love.

Answer 2

Interesting ?. I personally think those who fear to love is born out of an insecurity that they might not feel worthy to receive love. If a person has a fear of losing something then why would they not do all that they can to preserve it? Only a fool would pass up the opportunity to love-especially if he has loved and lossed before, if he is constantly pushing away love then he is a bitter fool and needs to stop being so selfish and understand life and love go hand in hand. Life brings love does it not?????? When was the last time you were atop a mountain to take in it's breathtaking views and breathe the cleanest sweetest air in your life, or been happy to see a baby born understanding how full of miraculous beauty life really is?? You need to breathe and let a child lead the way for once. ;), Never give up on life it will surprise you when you least suspect it, if you are open to it. Good luck to you! :)

Answer 3

I don't think it is the fault of those who fear to love for fear of loss. They have loved and lost before, for no fault of their own. They usually lose out to the shallow thinking of their past lovers who would leave them for trivial differences. This causes them to doubt if anyone at all is capable of loving them deeply from the bottom of their heart. It is not that they have lost the will to live, they just wish that somebody would love them in spite of their differences or even because of it.

Answer 4

Interesting frame for the question...
though the way it appears to be me, those "who fear to love for fear of loss", are in a way "not lost enough to learn." for from their perspective they see them-self as already learned, matured, experienced, with a since of already pre-judged determination as to where the path of love will lead and then die in its predestined, predetermined way. This person thinks that he is not lost, nor does he think there is anything to lose by not venturing that, which he believes is love.

What he does not know is that no matter what his perspective of love is, it does not change the true reality of what is really taking place. When love is true, the understandings of what love is unfolds with time. Only when his eyes are open to the nature of things will he be able to understand them, not in the since that he sees his prejudged conclusions be fulfilled, but in the since of what’s happening in the moment, destroying the already learned history, the same way that habits change, the same effects of the rising and lowering tide. To love is to drawn in the moment.

The will to live still survives...

Answer 5

For me, it not the fear of love for fear of loss. In some ways it is the fear of love; the sharing, the two becoming one. The loss of me, being who I am.

Answer 6

Hi Shahbarak~

Absolutely. If you risk nothing in life, you get nothing in return....other, then, maybe some sense of immediate emotional comfort. But, pretty short-sighted AND short-lived since it'll inevitably turn into loss eventually anyhow. Missed opportunities, loneliness, regrets...So, perhaps those who fear to love for fear of loss really just fear risk, and consequently, living and learning.

Loved Jach V's answer :-).

Answer 7

Surely those who feared to love for fear of losing missed a lot. They never experienced the true joy of having someone to care for, or to share life with. Perhaps as they age with no one to cling to, they'll realize how much of this great chance have they foolishly thrown away. And how much reasons to live have they gutlessly spurned.
Just as the saying goes: It's better to have loved and lost,..than never to have loved at all.

Answer 8

I think in my case with older friends who feel the fear to love its because they have lost much before and do not want to do it again....

Answer 9

yes they have some times fear creat protective reactions some people like to be alone by themselves no they didn't lose enough to learn at least they learn their lessons(lol) no they didn't lose the will to live because they have fear of death(lol)

Answer 10

i dont think that anyone would willingly chose a life of loneliness and superficial love. i certainly didnt chose that, but thats what i found myself to have last year. i met someone who made me want put the gloves down, break down all the walls and let them in. it makes you look back at yourself and see how different it is this time. in hindsight, i had two marriages where i had claimed to have loved them, but in reality truly had never given them enough of myself for them to have a chance. so, im glad i have allowed real love to be a part of my life, and even if it left me, id be forever thankful for the dance. its more like needing to lose the baggage and let love in without fear. trust life to give you a great ride and it will.