We had a huge argument this pm and of course, I dug in and pulled out my defenses which includes how offended I was after he started playing baseball games with his ex and how he spends almost everything he has on their kids. working extra and how I think he probably paid for her cosmetic surgery. Frankly, I have had enough of this woman and if he does not quit calling me by her 1st name I think I will explode and call him every name I know.
Is it me or is it him. I am sick to death of his ex wife who shows up at every single family function, funeral, etc..... I have had enough of her. I raised a family on my own and I have divorced and am not on friendly terms with my ex. Is it ok for me to be aggrivated that he keeps calling me by his ex name or is he still hung up on her? Its been 5 yrs now and frankly I think he needs counseling.
2007-08-22 19:00:57 · 8 answers · asked by happydawg 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know you have a lot of time and emotion invested in this relationship. But you are not in a relationship for the sake of having one. You are looking for a quality individual.
Let me lay it out.
1.) If you have been dating for FIVE years. He is just stringing you along.
2.) His ex is not truly his ex if he is still engaging in any extra curricular activity. This is a big big big warning sign.
3.) Since you are divorced, too, you KNOW what is and is not acceptable for a relationship that is purportedly severed.
4.) He is calling you by her name? Yikes.
I am so sorry to hear that you are in this situation. My wife and I have a friend that is in a similar situation and she has not come to the realization that her "boy friend" only cares about himself. She has already lost 2 years of her life to him for nothing.
Obviously, only you know what is best for you. But I think you knew a long time ago what you should do. The fact that you posted a question hints to this. Doing the right thing is not always easy, but it is always easy to tell others what we think is the right thing. So give yourself the advice that you would give someone, if they came to you with the same or similar question.
In whatever you choose for yourself I wish for you only the best.
Sincerely, Tim O.
2007-08-22 19:26:55 · answer #1 · answered by Rope-a-dope 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes he is still hung up on her - don't you think he'd have made more of a commitment to you by now if he wasn't?
on a side note - you are not his wife, you are his girlfriend, regardless of the length of time you have been together. That being the case, you don't have a say in how, and who, he spends his money on. His kids, his ex, his friends - that's his business, it's his money.
As far as family functions, they have chldren together, she is part of the family, therefore, she should be there. She has every right to be there. More than you do really.
He is a package deal, you either deal with it - or walk away.
2007-08-23 02:11:36 · answer #2 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could you imagin paying for the grocery and asking the salesman to keep the change. To us human beings we don't give away the changes of our lives to people to keep for us. It lives with us.
The changes of our life, lives with us, sometimes it could be a familiar object ( I still dream of the first house I last lived 7 years ago) other times it could be a reoccuring events. The truth is that we do not forget our past so easily, your man has a live he lived that is still his life.
If he call you that name when he is happy. it is a good thing, on the other hand if he calls you that, when he is sad it is not a good thing. Have you ever mistaken one person for another by an action,words(language sound) or behaviour that strikes samblance elsewhere?.
think about it.
2007-08-23 02:58:39 · answer #3 · answered by Prince O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think this guy is over his ex or will be anytime soon. If you have given him 5 years and he doesn't even have the decency to call you by your own name it sounds like he is trying to lose you. I've used the strategy of calling a person I wanted to get rid of by an ex's name before, very effective. Let someone else deal with his nonsense (like his ex) and find someone that will call you by your own name - you deserve at least that much honey.
2007-08-23 02:11:03 · answer #4 · answered by Lana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need counseling to learn how to let go of the anger and learn how to take better care of yourself and learn how to let go when something (like this relationship) isn't working for you. You don't want to continue living with this anger, do you? It will never change; even if it does, the past will always be with you in your mind somewhere waiting to rear it's ugly head at any moment. Best to move on and find someone with less or no baggage. Some of us just aren't meant or built to be in that type of a relationship.
2007-08-23 02:09:55 · answer #5 · answered by gma 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously that is where his mind if not his heart is...... I personally wouldn't put up with it. I think I would tell him if he wants her so bad then go back to her but leave you alone.... tell him next time he calls you by her name then out the door he goes..... I'm sure he wouldn't like it if you called him by another mans name..... better yet maybe next time you are in the throws of passion call him by another name and see his reaction then say it hurts doesn't it.
2007-08-23 02:21:58 · answer #6 · answered by ♥♥♥MiSSY♥♥♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have been dating him three years too long.
2007-08-23 06:53:36 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you picked a man with baggage.that's great that they get along .you sound like the one with the problem
2007-08-23 02:13:40 · answer #8 · answered by STALKER BLOCK 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋