im getting married?

Question

im getting married in a week but it is to the guy i always wanted to be with we have been in a relationship for 2 years now but he has been in jail for 1 year and 1month is it normal to be scared?what should i do? please help me and try your best to answer

Answer 1

Well congrats!!
And are you talking about being scared of getting married? Well then yes. Most woman do. That's very normal.

If your talking about getting married to someone who has been in jail. Still yes. It depends on the crime. My brother is getting marries. He's been to jail but changed and has the best relationship. Its okay to be scared. I just hope it wasn't a serious crime.

Oh and so are you saying that your bf. well fiance has been in jail most of the relationship? If so I'd take it slow. And make sure that's what you really want. Marriage is such a BIG step. Well anyway good luck and congrats!! Do what feels right!! =)

Answer 2

The big question for me is what did he do to go to jail?? And is it jail or prison ( big difference ). If he is in jail for committing a violent act or selling drugs, I would really have serious reservations. It's normal to be scared and have doubts before a wedding even when things are great between two people. I would be down right terrified!!!!

Is this his first offence? If it is not, you need to ask yourself truthfullly why you think it's going to change. Are you willing to put your life on hold and WAIT for him every time he messes up??? Not to sound to judgemental but if he walks like a duck and quaks like a duck HE'S A DUCK!

Was he incarcerated in the first part of your relationship or the latter part? If it was the latter part I would be EXTREMELY wary. Considering that most men that are Incarcerated will tell a woman everything they want to hear to keep them around ( lifeline and link to outside world ) you need to make sure his feelings are genuine.

You also need to consider if he is going to be able to gain and keep employment. Girl, the last thing you need is a lazy *** man with no job and a criminal record.

Does he have children? If so does he provide for them? Is he a good father? If not why do you think it will be different with you??? How did he treat his EX? Is respectful and loving towards you? CAN YOU TRUST HIM?

A mans past behavior is a good indicator of future behavior. I don't want to sound like I'm crusifying the guy, but marriage is a serious and sacred endeavor. If you want it to work out you need to make sure you are both compatible, have similar goals, and want the same things. Well I don't know the man like you do but just the fact that you posted this question tells me your worried about the outcome. Talk to your family members and close friends. Ask them for their honest opinions and why they feel that way. Remember your loved ones have your happiness and interests in mind more so than everyone who answered this question. I truley wish you all the best and hope the decision you make leads to your happiness.

Answer 3

You need to ask yourself a question, "why am I scared?". Also did he propose before or after he was incarcerated? if the latter, then he may have been trying to save you for himself so that you don't start looking at other men while he is away. Why are you rushing? If he will be getting out soon then you have time to get married. If not then you really need to think before you do it. You may marry this guy and then grow restless and desire to move on. You also need to consider that he has been in jail for half of your relationship.

If you have always wanted to be with him then no other man will do. Follow your heart because if you leave him now you will always be wondering what if. Consider this: You marry him, you wait for years for him to get out, he gets out and then the relationship is not the same. Sometimes jail hardens a man and they change; in the process you may change.You feel as though you waisted all of your time on a memory then go through a divorce. Think it through it is not too late to change your mind.

Answer 4

Did u know that he's been jailed before u start the relationship with him ? If u did , Why should u scared now ?

Everyone will make a mistake (or more) before , the most important thing that he's changed now .

In those 2 years , how do u feel about him ? Did he ever do smthing that make u feel insecure / scared ?

There should not be any fear feeling to built a family . Pls think twice be4 u decide to get married if u still scared .

Answer 5

Its normal to be nervous. However, I'd love to say Congratulations on the up and coming nuptials but 1/2 of the time you've been in this "relationship" he's been in prison!?!?!? Do you really know him? Is he going to end up back there while you have to possible try and raise children alone? I think you need to think this through a bit more.

What ever you do, I do wish you all the best and a happy life.


EDIT: Here are a few points to ponder before your "I do's":

-Will he be able to get a good paying job and provide for his family?
-Will he be a repeat offender? Is he truly reformed?
-Has jail/prison changed him? Is he the man you think know?
-Will you be able to handle a household & possibly children on your own if he goes back (or you're divorced because you finally got to know him)?

Answer 6

I am getting married in 3 weeks...Im really excited.
I suppose you have good reason to be scared, but if it was for something really minor and he isnt going to be putting your life in danger then you should go ahead with it. But if you feel that he may turn on you and that he is in prison for something really major then maybe you should consider putting the wedding off until he has been out for a while and you have got to know him. Im sure you will make the right decision when it comes down to it. Just keep safe

Answer 7

First off, if you are getting married, you should be sure about it. That is, you should be aware that you are getting married, not asking others if you are getting married. What business is it of a bunch of random people?

As for your details, it's normal to be scared, but it's even more normal to be scared that you're getting married to a guy with a record of jail time. What are this guy's employment prospects? Yech!

Answer 8

I was with my ex for 10 years and he was a con. Wouldn't be surprised if he is still one. I left him almost 4 years ago. Depends what he did, if he learned from his mistake and if he'd be likely not to reoffend or anything. ME personally I wouldn't marry him. Common-law or just living together may work better, then you can escape him if he becomes too dangerous then you don't have to deal with all the legal marriage issues..

My ex sister in law. Married a man in Prison. It was only them and nobody else in the family went to their wedding, they are still married and they have 2 kids. They are doing well...so for some it works for others it didn't. It didn't work for me because of his violent past with assualt and AR's and B&E's and Theft over/under and all that.

Answer 9

Is very normal to want to marry somebody that has been at jail. All girls love that, but when she bits you up do not worry is normal too in this type of people

Answer 10

Please, for the rest of the Answers users, don't ask questions like this. Do we know you who you're marrying? We can't tell you what to do, obviously. Will you honestly base your decision on who you're going to (or supposed to) be spending the rest of your life with on a bunch of answers given by random people who don't care, know, or understand you or anything you are doing? This isn't the right place for that type of question. For God's sake, think of the person you're marrying when you ask a question like this. If I were him and I came accross this question online, I'd be completely offended that you thought the occasion so unimportant that you held it up to random people that are just using the internet.